Depressed :(

Options
Feeling hugely depressed right now, its the 4th anniversary of my Dads death on Wednesday and im struggling with it, its been a daily struggle since he died.:brokenheart:
All i want to do is eat and eat and eat ...i haven't, yet, but i really feel like it. I know its a form of depression, ive been on medication since he died...i guess its a self punishment thing...i really dont want to mess my dieting up....but i really want to eat pounds and pounds of chocolate :sad:

Then its my birthday Friday, and that just makes me miss him more.....

Replies

  • StarIsMoving
    Options
    Stay strong knowing HE would want you to remain a healthier you. Depression is a tough war inside, but if you are keeping him at your fore-thoughts, then think of what he would want. Throwing you hugs to help get your through your hard time
  • KristieLynn007
    Options
    I am sorry that you are sad and having a hard time. It is true that your dad would want you to take care of yourself!!! Sometimes when I get down that is what I do....I eat.....and usually it is junk(like sweets, candy cake etc).

    Try not to be hard on yourself though. Try to stay focused .....your dad would want the best for you. And if you do have a bad day with eating....everyone has them....belive me. Don't be hard on yourself.

    <<<<HUGS>>>> to you.
  • donnabirch123
    Options
    i know you wont feel like it, but exercising releases the same happy chemical that eating does, go out for a walk!
  • KristieLynn007
    Options
    By the way....you are doing great with your weight loss. I just saw that ticker/banner thing under your post. :) HOpe I will be able to do as well as you are doing.
  • Smuterella
    Smuterella Posts: 1,623 Member
    Options
    Well, it is perfectly normal to feel down about this, however, I have to ask, are you having or have you had bereavement counselling to help you deal with this?

    The way I see it, as someone who has suffered from both, if there are two main forms of depression - clinical - the chemical kind which best reacts to drugs and "situational" depression caused by an event, such as a death, which responds best to counselling.

    Find someone you can talk to, try not to indulge in habits (i.e. overeating) that will just make you feel guilty and add to the weight of bad feeling you are dealing with.

    :-)
  • JBsCrazyGirl
    Options
    Aw </3
    First of all, I am sorry for your lose.. Keep your head up, and keep it moving forward, but remember everyone has to have their moments. But, time is the healer to everything my friend, it may take a lot of it... but it is...

    Second, think of the other things you enjoy, or things that make your day more bearable, that give you some sort of relief, and try to channel you desire to eat that chocolate into one of those things. Maybe, walk it off, just take in the sounds of nature, or drowned it out with some nice positive music. Remember to breath too. I know this may sound strange, but i cant tell you how many times i was depressed and stressed out and just stop to take a nice long breath and felt like i wasn't breathing at all before that.

    Be the best you can be, for him, and remember he is in a better place. He'd want you to be happy, and remember the good, and try not to be so sad over the bad.. He's want you to enjoy your birthday, and remember that he is there, always.

    My friend the road is long, but I know you know that, but one day, it will, get even a little easier.
    hugs&&
  • Eleanorjanethinner
    Eleanorjanethinner Posts: 563 Member
    Options
    Get help! (In the nicest possible way). It sounds very much like you're having some issues with your grieving. The death of a parent is a seismic shift in our lives, but we should be to find a 'new normal' with joy and fulfillment as well as the memories and sadness.

    Why has your Dr left you on anti-depressants for four years with (as far you mention) no other treatment? I suggest you start by talking to another GP. Or see if anyone can recommend a trained and registered counsellor/ therapist (or just self-refer and try another one if you don't like the first one. You need to find someone you click with.). Or what about a group?

    My beloved mother died about seven months ago. About a month after she died, I started attending a 10 session group for people who were grieving. I was afraid they'd all be loonies and think that I didn't deserve to be there and that it'd just be depressing... but the people were a mix of normal folks who'd had crappy things happen to them. The group leaders were good and it was very helpful to work through some of the common issues that we face with grief.

    Now I feel like the foundations of my life have been knocked out and I'm trying to remake myself into whatever person I'm going to be from now on. I can't express how much I miss her and how sad I am not to have her support and love in my life. But I'm surviving and moving on. I'm able to function.

    You don't need to spend the rest of your life feeling like crap. If you broke your arm, you'd get medical help - emotional damage that isn't healing right needs help too!

    God bless.
  • traceyjayne64
    Options
    You are all so kind, thank you.
  • Luandanielle1979
    Luandanielle1979 Posts: 747 Member
    Options
    Hello,
    You are not on your own.

    I really can appreciate how you are feeling today. I got up this morning and had a bad weekeend food wise. It was the aniversary of my dads death last week. My dad got diagnosed with dementia when he was 52 and unfortunatly died at 62 a couple of years ago. He really was the the most important person on our family. The one who sorted everything out for us and made it better.

    I woke up this morning and put the tv on to fiona phillips speaking about losing parents to dementia. It really made me think about my dad and how we all delt with it at the time and after he died even though we were grieving long before he did pass as we lost a piece of him each day his condition worsened. Life is so difficult at times and sometimes we feel like we cant control your emotions. We learn to live with difficulties and you have obviously come a long way also since you lost him you have been coping but there is also people you can talk to who can help you get on with your life again and manage your feelings in a positive way.

    Its my birthday in a couple of weeks and I know my dad would want to enjoy it and get on with my life. he lives on in each of us and we keep him alive by talking about him and remembering the things he taught us. I really hope you start to feel better. I can only say when I feel down and upset I have to throw my jacket on and get outside. I go for a walk and feel much better about things by the time I get home.

    Keep smiling and remember he will never leave you your heart will be full of memories and special things he has left you with. Talking about it will help. Go back to your GP and get some advice.

    Lots of love and your not on your own x
  • PurpleSweetpea
    Options
    Sending hugs. I know how you feel - it'll be 6 months tomorrow since I lost my dad and it still feels like yesterday! Some days I'm ok and others i just can't get motivated and want to eat junk. x
  • GuruOnAMountain
    GuruOnAMountain Posts: 489 Member
    Options
    Oh honey. It is hard when you lose someone but if you put the weight back on by over-eating then not only will you feel upset over your loss but you'll also feel disappointed that you've undone all your hard work. The short-term gain from eating some junk food is not worth it in the long run and others are right in saying that your dad would want you to be fit and healthy and would be proud of you for keeping going through this tough time.
  • Usbornegal
    Usbornegal Posts: 601 Member
    Options
    It can be so hard to lose a parent. I lost my dad when I was only 19, and still miss him 36 years later.

    There's lots of good advice here. I would highlight finding a good grief counselor that can help you put his life and your life into perspective so that you can live your life rather than die his death. This sounds kind of harsh, and I'm not sure why that phrasing came to mind but I feel it is right, not meant to be disrespectful in anyway.

    It sounds like you have a lot of emotions around the loss of your father and that you are driven to emotional eating. Perhaps for this year you could try writing out the emotions to express them before giving in to the urge to eat. What to write? Memories, thoughts, anger at losing him, thoughts about what you wish you could ask him or say to him, whatever comes to mind in a 'stream of conscioiusness' style.

    He gave you life (along with your mother) and would want you to live it. What was his dream for you? Focus on it.

    Sorry if I come off as too much of the therapist today. Have a blessed week.