My Hubby Was Right (pics)

For years, he told me I was being too hard on myself.

For years, I hated looking like this:

And I would starve myself. And exercise to the extreme. And finally give up because it was too hard to maintain. And gain back everything I'd lost. And do it all over again (and again and again). At the left, I was at my highest non-pregnant weight, around 188lbs. The other two pics were taken during my "trying to lose weight phase", weighing between 170-175. I was doing Jillian Michaels' diet during this time and trying to stay around 1400 cals a day. The one on the right was taken on hubby's birthday, another time that I beat myself up for celebrating and wound up giving up. Oh, y'all, the voice in my head was worse than the meanest drill sargeant.
My sweetheart told me that I was fine the way I was. He was always concerned when I wasn't eating enough. He was sad when I snapped at him that I couldn't have whatever treat he'd bought me. When I would complain about being overweight, he would say, "But honey, you've had kids! Don't be so hard on yourself!" and "I love you anyway!"

After baby #6 was born (our 5th baby together in 12 years), I was afraid that I would again have PPD like I'd had with #5, so I put a battle plan in place. I was going to learn to love myself, just the way I was. Along those lines, I vowed that I was going to give my body adequate nutrition, adequate rest, adequate play, and adequate exercise. I was no longer going punish myself by withholding food or by inflicting long exercise sessions. I already knew that doing those things would not bring about any good change. It was a struggle, and sometimes I fell, but I kept trying. I got into the habit of counting my protein grams and servings of fresh veggies and fruits and dairy and healthy fat...but not calories. I made a pact with myself that I would do 15-30 minutes of exercise a day, just because it made me feel better and gave me more energy. And I worked on telling my inner drill sargeant to knock it off.
After a few months, I noticed it was working. I got down to 158 lbs, the lowest I'd weighed since HoneyBear and I had our first child together.


Encouraged by my newfound energy and strength, I picked up some weights and began to "lift heavy". I pampered myself with new clothes. I reached my goal weight of 145. Then I started wondering if maybe I would look better at 135? I joined MFP thinking I would lose another 10 pounds. But here I am today at 143.5.

I have decided that this is it. Rather than focusing on pounds, I've decided that strong, energetic, and healthy is where I want to stay. I like this. I will continue to do what I am doing just because I feel good doing it.

And...
(here's your fair warning...I'm going to show a belly shot...battle scars and all... )
*this* is something that I can feel proud of. It takes a lot of work to get these kind of stripes! Rawr!