Punny Jokes to make the day go by....

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Replies

  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
    Puns are not for kids. They are intended for groan readers.

    LOL! A kid told me this one:
    Teachers never die, they just lose (not loose!) their class.
  • jennajava
    jennajava Posts: 2,176 Member
    I think some people don't understand what a pun is... :laugh:
  • CountryBoy65
    CountryBoy65 Posts: 908 Member
    I think some people don't understand what a pun is... :laugh:

    something more like this?

    There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
  • sinistertitan
    sinistertitan Posts: 603 Member
    Gravity, it's always putting everyone down.
  • sinistertitan
    sinistertitan Posts: 603 Member
    I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
  • CountryBoy65
    CountryBoy65 Posts: 908 Member
    The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
  • sinistertitan
    sinistertitan Posts: 603 Member
    A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
  • sinistertitan
    sinistertitan Posts: 603 Member
    I think some people don't understand what a pun is... :laugh:
    I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.
  • CountryBoy65
    CountryBoy65 Posts: 908 Member
    One eye said to the other, “Just between you and me, there’s something that smells.”
  • sinistertitan
    sinistertitan Posts: 603 Member
    When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.
  • czechsmate
    czechsmate Posts: 556 Member
    Have you heard about that online origami store? It folded.
  • czechsmate
    czechsmate Posts: 556 Member
    Have you heard about that online origami store? It folded.

    and....
    The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.
  • Johnnyswife
    Johnnyswife Posts: 1,447 Member
    Knock Knock!

    Who's there?

    Interrupting cow...

    Interrupting Cow MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO who?

    courtesy of my 9 yo daughter!
    Hah!! My favorite! Stepdaughter and I will yell "Mooo!' at each other anytime we feel interrupted by the other. lol
  • CountryBoy65
    CountryBoy65 Posts: 908 Member
    A bicycle cannot stand on its own because it is two-tired.
  • Abbie_Thompson
    Abbie_Thompson Posts: 45 Member
    What do you call it when a cow gets stuck trying to jump over a barbed wire fence?
    Utter destruction!
  • Abbie_Thompson
    Abbie_Thompson Posts: 45 Member
    What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?

    an investigator!
  • muscular_dude
    muscular_dude Posts: 36

    What do you call a cow with no legs?

    Ground beef.

    what do you call a cow with two legs ?

    lean beef.
  • robot_potato
    robot_potato Posts: 1,535 Member
    Courtesy of my 7 year old.

    What do you call two bees that are ghosts?

    BOO-bees!
  • NotGoddess
    NotGoddess Posts: 1,198 Member
    This isn't a pun but my boys and I were just talking about it tonight...

    Late one morning in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight.
    Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other.
    The deaf policeman heard the noise. He came and killed those two dead boys.
    If you don't believe this lie is true, ask the blind man. He saw it too.

    Lots of variants out there...google for an hour of fun.
  • CACKWITH
    CACKWITH Posts: 2 Member
    What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? "Dam!"
  • hapoo100
    hapoo100 Posts: 926 Member
    I went to a Pirate movie. It was rated Arrgh
  • NotGoddess
    NotGoddess Posts: 1,198 Member
    Two atoms are walking down the sidewalk when they accidentally bump into each other.
    "I'm really sorry!" the first atom exclaims."Are you all right?"
    " Actually, no," the second atom replies."I lost an electron."
    "Oh, no! Are you sure?"
    "I'm positive!"

    A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a drink?"
    The bartender replies, "For you? No charge."

    Courtesy of my eldest (he's turning into such a geek. I'm so proud!)
  • NotGoddess
    NotGoddess Posts: 1,198 Member
    If Life were ferrous, I'd have a magnetic personality.
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