Single Parents. . .

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2012asv
2012asv Posts: 702 Member
in Motivation and Support
How do you get past the pain and remain focused on your health? How do you put it behind you and keep on going, for yourself and your children?

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  • TexasGirl_Amie
    TexasGirl_Amie Posts: 215
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    It still hurts even after time. Time will heal it completely though. In the meanwhile, you have to stay strong for your kids and remember being healthy benefits them and you.
  • Meghan0116
    Meghan0116 Posts: 1,340 Member
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    I don't know your situation but for me, I had to pick myself up and move on. I wasn't going to allow him or my heartache to affect my son's quality of life. That includes my health. Eventually the pain dulls and then disappears. Usually once you start rediscovering who you are.
  • hofficoffi
    hofficoffi Posts: 88 Member
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    "Every finish line....is the beginning of a new race". My friend told me that when my world collapsed around me and found out my husband had been cheating on me for years with SO many women. I moved back to my hometown with my daughter and it was hard.... BUT the best decision I ever made. Time is an AMAZING healer! Surround yourself with positive people, focus on YOU, not just your children but YOU too, You are just as important. A happy mummy is a happy child! Take time out for yourself and let yourself mourn the relationship and then pick yourself back up. It will get easier hunni. It does.
    What is meant for you will not pass you by, one day you will look back on this time now and realise how much strength you have and how you did it yourself and you will be SO proud. I am a year post break up and really really enjoying my life. You'll get there too!
    If you ever want a chat just add me as a friend babe and PM me, xxxxxx
  • Z_I_L_L_A
    Z_I_L_L_A Posts: 2,399 Member
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    How do you get past the pain and remain focused on your health? How do you put it behind you and keep on going, for yourself and your children?

    How you say...easy THE KIDS.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Leaving my husband was such an obvious decision that I can't even remember a time when I hurt about it. But occassionally I do get a little sad.
  • Z_I_L_L_A
    Z_I_L_L_A Posts: 2,399 Member
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    When your child looks up at you and says "You need to pull yourself out of this because I need you and I love you." Aww...the power of my teenaged daughter.
  • Thad81
    Thad81 Posts: 138 Member
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    In the beginning its just one foot in front of the other, after awhile it starts to hurt less, and then one magical day you hardly remember what hurt so much. I got there after a few years. Now I cant even recognize my life compared to how bad it was when I was with my ex. I hated life then, and myself, now life is good, but its a choice to move forward and let the past be what it was and is. You can use that pain to make a brighter future but you have to choose to do this. Find your own strength, and life will be better, of this I am certain!
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
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    One foot in front of the other, baby steps every day... kept doing a routine (minimal checklist of stuff I had to do every day to keep my life together), all with the Lord's help or I wouldn't of made it. Honored my feelings (I left, but it still hurt after being with him 15 years that I had to leave), and built in moments away from my son where I could cry out in prayer and to myself about and just acknowledge that this is a rough road I must travel.

    It gets better. It really does!
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    Everyday gets a little bit easier. It really does.

    Always look forward. Don't look back.

    Someone has it way worse than you.
  • Dumbell_Diva
    Dumbell_Diva Posts: 175 Member
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    Im a single mother with 3 kids (aged 7, 10 and 13)....Ive been a single Mum for 5 years now and you really will get through this, you can so do this. When you look at your children and realise its all down to you, its such an empowering feeling! My husand walking out on us was one of the best things that happened, he was a very controlling man and my life was very hard. I had to go through that process to be the person I am today. I was bullied and controlled but in such a subtle way. Now I feel so empowered. I can do the school run without being quizzed about how long it took me, I can wear what I like without feeling bad or guilty, I can wash up when I like, I can have a lie in at the weekend, I can make my own choices. My children are happier. My life was awful and now it is so much better! You really can do this. My Mum says "how do you cope so well with 3 kids on your own" but you just do it without thinking, it becomes life. Whatever the relationship was like you will have a period of grieving, even though my marriage was over and I was happy my partner left, I still had a time of being upset, tearful and feeling like I wouldnt cope, but that only lasted a week or two...and then my life began!!! :wink: :wink:
  • DaughterOfTheMostHighKing
    DaughterOfTheMostHighKing Posts: 1,436 Member
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    I've been single for 10 years (widowed) so my pain differs from those who are divorced, but it's still pain. I found that my need to be a mommy for my 2 (who had just turned 3 and 5) was more intense than my need to mourn and feel sorry for my loss. I had to be there for them and not let them feel my pain.

    I prayed a lot and read the Bible. I sang a lot and let God tell me that He will always take care of my and my children. He has.

    It takes time. And it's okay to cry, but I never cried in front of my children. I cried when they were asleep or behind me in the van so they would see. Crying allows for healing and purges your body of toxins. Life goes on... so must we. Prayers for all the singles, by choice or otherwise...
  • Shesabigstar
    Shesabigstar Posts: 17
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    It's so hard in the beginning but for me, it really was all about one day at a time, one foot in front of the other. It's hard to imagine while you're going through it, but it really does get better and one day you'll back and realize that there's so much more happiness in your current life than there was before. My focus is my kids - they are my world - and this journey for me is all about being healthy for myself and setting a good example for them. Good luck!
  • lheyduk
    lheyduk Posts: 1
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    You may be a single parent now but you have also been given the gift of a second chance. As everyone has already said the beginning is so painfully hard. But once you realize you are in control of your own life, your own happiness you will feel empowered. I have been a single mom for 3.5 years of my 4yr old son's life. In the beginning I didn't know how I would be able to get through some days. Now I am proud, strong and happier than I ever was in my marriage. It's not always easy but the rewards of independence are huge. Your kids will keep you going. Keep your chin up, allow yourself to grieve and remember there are many of us supporting you. Sending lots of love.

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