How long til you start to feel pretty again?

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victoriabrah
victoriabrah Posts: 11 Member
in Motivation and Support
-_- I'm so ready to feel like myself again. I feel like I've done everything wrong/backwards in life and as a result I'm wearing 65+ extra pounds. I';ve lost 25-30 of those pounds and now i'm in a weight loss competition(i'm highly competitive) and i'm loving the group workout setting(its biggest loser style) but i'm just wondering when do you start to feel pretty.. or yourself again?

Even with a little extra weight I've always felt confident until I got married(when I was 18) now i'm 21 we dont live together we are about to be divorced and i feel like no matter how many pounds i lose ill never be beautiful again. (inside and out)

I JUST WANT TO FEEL NORMAL AGAIN :(
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Replies

  • hheater
    hheater Posts: 52 Member
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    Aw, girl...it breaks my heart to read this. You have to know that your beauty (inside and out) is not because of how skinny you are. You ARE beautiful, and you're on the path to better health because you made some mistakes. You may enhance your beauty by getting your body in better shape, but please know that you are beautiful no matter what. It's how you were made. :)

    That said, your confidence in your new, changing body will grow as you become stronger. The stronger my body becomes, the more confidence in my body I have. But I never second guess that I'm beautiful.
  • Aerohead21
    Aerohead21 Posts: 333 Member
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    I have been where you are but my confidence issues have lingered around since I was very young. I struggle every day with it but I have to say, with age your priorities change. When I was your age I was concerned with my appearance and what other people thought mattered. Now that I am 30, appearance is important but I don't care so much what other people think. I will admit though, I struggled quite a bit following my divorce so I wouldn't be surprised if some of your feelings are associated with your divorce. As you separate yourself from that and start living your own life, things should start falling back into place. If they don't, you may want to consider talking to someone. You have your whole life ahead of you :) take the time to find another focus :)
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
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    You will never be younger or prettier than you are today. Deal with it.
    Take a class, read a book or something
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,887 Member
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    I've shed an entire person worth of weight and I still don't feel pretty. I hope you get there, though.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
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    Beauty isn't a number on a scale. I'm sure you have lots of fabulous qualities that make you a beautiful person. Focus on those for now, and eventually your feelings about the way you look will start to change too.
  • victoriabrah
    victoriabrah Posts: 11 Member
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    . But I never second guess that I'm beautiful.

    I look in the mirror and just want to cry. i feel destroyed. I feel like winning is my option to a new life. I never knew how much of myself i lost after I had my son at 17 and married at 18. I feel like i just did everything wrong and now as a result I am punished and deserve these feelings.

    I was told noone would ever love me because I have a child. Then I was married and that temporarily numbed it and now I'm being told noone will love someone who has a child AND divorced and is barely 21. I just am ready to feel beautiful again. not just skinny but like that other then my son i have purpose. I KNOW i have purpose but i feel like noone should support someone who has made so many ill descions. How will i know in the future what is the right choice if i've made so many terrible ones already?
  • clarkeje1
    clarkeje1 Posts: 1,638 Member
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    From my experience with low self esteem and self confidence, I feel good when I'm working towards being the person I want to be. I assess myself, look at the qualities about myself that I don't like, and change them until I can feel proud of who I am. And even if its a work in progress, just attempting to better myself makes me happy. When I start to like things about myself on the inside then I think I look better on the outside as well.
  • Aerohead21
    Aerohead21 Posts: 333 Member
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    Those things are wrong and whoever said them to you is wrong. The mistakes you made gave you a very precious gift. A wonderful man will see that and love you regardless of your mistakes. Look ahead, not back. You'll make more use out of moving forward than back :)

    And even though it sucks, how you feel now is a normal reaction to your situation. Mistakes, even big life altering mistakes, can come at any age. Focus on the good you can do from here on out!
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    There's a by Maya Angelou that I love. And I'm not a big Maya Angelou kind of person. But it's this: "When I knew better, I did better."

    We all make mistakes. It's how we learn. We don't learn to ride a bike without falling down, and we don't get to be adults without screwing up here and there. You've made choices you're not proud of... and that says to me that you've grown a whole HELL of a lot and won't make those same choices again. You know better, and you're doing better.

    And for what it's worth... Hello? Look at that photo! You're frickin' gorgeous!
  • Colbyandsage
    Colbyandsage Posts: 751 Member
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    Just like the ladies said above. U r pretty. It's inside. U r going through a tough time so go buy an awesome outfit and make a date with the girls :) my friends have a way of making me laugh! And feel like me again.

    My best friend and I joke that we wish we could rewind and tell our 21 yr old self how awesome we r today. :) my point is ur situation isnt ideal right now but u need to be the best u can be. Hang in there honey!


    YOU ARE GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!

    I think u should say that cuz u really are :)
  • Lee510
    Lee510 Posts: 46
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    And for what it's worth... Hello? Look at that photo! You're frickin' gorgeous!
    Ditto!
  • victoriabrah
    victoriabrah Posts: 11 Member
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    I really appreciate it , i will definately try to just work on being a better person and "fall in love with myself" . I guess i thought after the first 30 pounds i would feel more confident. but doesnt work that way apparently.

    Any other tips on how to bring myself back to a happy, healthy me?
  • goobergop
    goobergop Posts: 29 Member
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    you are never doing anything wrong as long as you learn from your mistakes or learn from what has made you, you.

    you're a beautiful person and you have to start accepting that, regardless of weight. Weight is just a shallow thing, dont let that be your happiness!
  • robot_potato
    robot_potato Posts: 1,535 Member
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    No person on this earth can make you feel beautiful besides yourself. You need to make that decision. At 230 pounds i decided i was beautiful, important and worthy. Now at 165, i feel it even more. I am here because i love myself, and i know i am worth the effort i put in. It's all up to you, it's in your head.
  • Colbyandsage
    Colbyandsage Posts: 751 Member
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    Advice. Start something new.... Anything. Take ur son to the playground and hear him laugh. Watch him play... Stand back, take a deep breathe and enjoy that moment n the lil man u created. Realize u r worth life and if anyone tells u otherwise don't listen they r trying to keep u down.
  • irishchick_77
    irishchick_77 Posts: 7 Member
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    There is a line from the book/movie "The Help" that I tell myself every day: I am Kind, I am Smart, I am Important. While none of those things directly mention being pretty, I have found that by thinking nice things about myself, I am better able to believe what nice things other say about me.
  • victoriabrah
    victoriabrah Posts: 11 Member
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    There is a line from the book/movie "The Help" that I tell myself every day: I am Kind, I am Smart, I am Important. While none of those things directly mention being pretty, I have found that by thinking nice things about myself, I am better able to believe what nice things other say about me.



    I think ill write that on my mirror :)
  • 4KatieLynn4
    4KatieLynn4 Posts: 27
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    i have learned the hard way that no number on the scale will make you beautiful, if you are not beautiful on the inside! You need to change your life around to make you happy. The begging of this year i decided to start a lifestyle change, i removed ever single negative person in my life, i may now only have my parents, husband, son, one friend, and my twin sister, but getting those negative people out of my life, has really gave me my life back. I now live a healthier lifestyle, when i dont have people saying negative things to bring me down. I also started exersising alot to relieve stress and it works great, i can honestly say thes past three months have been the best of my life! It may sound silly but i saw a quote and its wat started me on my journey, "For beautiful eyes, look for the good in othes; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone." I will amit i would gossip and compare myself to others when i hung out with those negative people, now i refuse to do that and thats what has made me so happy!
  • kittyinaz
    kittyinaz Posts: 300 Member
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    I feel the same way right now.

    However, I don't think it's so much of a weight issue as a control issue. I think you probably feel like you've lost control of your life and yourself and you're desperately trying to get it back in control. Or at least, that's how I feel right now. I know if I sit down and make a list of what I want to accomplish (whether it be weight loss, cleaning, work goals, etc) then I can check them off as I go and I find my confidence building.

    It also just takes time to get out of a rut when you find yourself in one. Take some time for yourself and go have fun -- that is a necessity!
  • ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll
    ffuunnnnyy__ggiirrll Posts: 431
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    You are beautiful.

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