The RARE occasion when it is good to be fat.

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Replies

  • abyt42
    abyt42 Posts: 1,358 Member
    For a while, when I got phone calls or door to door solicitations and we were trying to sell software we'd written, i'd just launch into our sales pitch ("as long as I've got you on the phone" or "as long as you're here, would you be interested in examining..."
  • zenchild
    zenchild Posts: 680 Member
    A friend of mine has the best door-to-door story ever.
    A friend of hers was getting ready for a drag show. He had his corset on, fish-net stockings, heels, the little cap that goes under th wig and half his make-up on when the doorbell rang. He ran to answer it, thinking it was his friend who was running late. He flings open his apartment door without checking who it was and says "WHERE have you been?!" There were two middle-aged women standing there. They stared at him in open-mouthed horror for a moment before turning and running. He was mortified.
  • Ephena
    Ephena Posts: 610 Member
    Either that or the person they ask for, tell them they died.. listen for that sudden silence then them panicking thinking what to say, priceless.
    :laugh:
    The company I work for is owned by a corporation and the founder passed away years ago (like over 7!) and I still get multiple calls for him daily. I love that scramble they do when trying to figure out what to say after I inform them he's dead. :devil:
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,689 Member
    So when they came to my door, I took off my shirt, revealing my - albeit smaller - man boobs before opening the door. And revealing my hairy stomach and zipper scar....

    As they started to get into their "deal", I started to rub my nipples..... Strangely enough one of the women claimed that they had to go, as she just got a text message.... LOL.

    I'm pretty sure this would have worked even if you were skinny, your behavior was unusual enough to freak them out, your fatness (or lack thereof) is unimportant. A (fit, attractive) friend of mine got rid of women from a similar group by inviting them in for a threesome.
  • SnakeDarling
    SnakeDarling Posts: 352 Member
    A friend of mine has the best door-to-door story ever.
    A friend of hers was getting ready for a drag show. He had his corset on, fish-net stockings, heels, the little cap that goes under th wig and half his make-up on when the doorbell rang. He ran to answer it, thinking it was his friend who was running late. He flings open his apartment door without checking who it was and says "WHERE have you been?!" There were two middle-aged women standing there. They stared at him in open-mouthed horror for a moment before turning and running. He was mortified.

    HAHAHAHA!! That is TOO funny.
    A similar thing happened to my cousin when he was still in the drag scene
  • NamsdnaL
    NamsdnaL Posts: 102 Member
    A friend of mine has the best door-to-door story ever.
    A friend of hers was getting ready for a drag show. He had his corset on, fish-net stockings, heels, the little cap that goes under th wig and half his make-up on when the doorbell rang. He ran to answer it, thinking it was his friend who was running late. He flings open his apartment door without checking who it was and says "WHERE have you been?!" There were two middle-aged women standing there. They stared at him in open-mouthed horror for a moment before turning and running. He was mortified.

    ROFLMAO :laugh:
  • candicejn
    candicejn Posts: 458 Member
    LMAO, that's awesome :D
  • Froggy1976
    Froggy1976 Posts: 472
    don't you have the capability of just telling them you are "not interested"? This is what is wrong with the world today-people prefer to be rude rather than honest. But like you said-you could care less and that's the problem!

    What a fun response....
  • Johnnyswife
    Johnnyswife Posts: 1,447 Member
    OK, I know /expect some people will take offense to this, but regarding this topic, I couldn't care less.

    I absolutely hate telemarketers; I think it should be illegal, PERIOD. But worse than that are the people who come to your door trying to convert you into their religion. So, today, I saw two women walking the neighborhood, and I knew that was what they were doing as their car was parked on the street and it had religious stuff all over it.

    So when they came to my door, I took off my shirt, revealing my - albeit smaller - man boobs before opening the door. And revealing my hairy stomach and zipper scar....

    As they started to get into their "deal", I started to rub my nipples..... Strangely enough one of the women claimed that they had to go, as she just got a text message.... LOL.
    I thought telemarketers called on the phone...
  • sdrawkcabynot
    sdrawkcabynot Posts: 462 Member
    don't you have the capability of just telling them you are "not interested"? This is what is wrong with the world today-people prefer to be rude rather than honest. But like you said-you could care less and that's the problem!

    Someone needs some chocolate...FAST. :happy:

    nope- I'm fine thanks.

    Oh come on - it's pretty creative... i think it's rude that the girl lied about a text and said she had to go. If it was a guy with wash board abs and pecs from hell - she would have enjoyed the show.

    (edit... took out the "you know it's funny" because i totally expect to get lectured)
  • sdrawkcabynot
    sdrawkcabynot Posts: 462 Member
    OK, I know /expect some people will take offense to this, but regarding this topic, I couldn't care less.

    I absolutely hate telemarketers; I think it should be illegal, PERIOD. But worse than that are the people who come to your door trying to convert you into their religion. So, today, I saw two women walking the neighborhood, and I knew that was what they were doing as their car was parked on the street and it had religious stuff all over it.

    So when they came to my door, I took off my shirt, revealing my - albeit smaller - man boobs before opening the door. And revealing my hairy stomach and zipper scar....

    As they started to get into their "deal", I started to rub my nipples..... Strangely enough one of the women claimed that they had to go, as she just got a text message.... LOL.
    I thought telemarketers called on the phone...

    haha... after PERIOD... But worse than that are the people who come to your door trying to convert you into their religion.
  • Anthonydaman
    Anthonydaman Posts: 854 Member
    Good stuff, i admire you!
  • Mely1268
    Mely1268 Posts: 21
    That is absolutely hilarious! I do not think us women could pull that off though. Maybe if a guy came to the door and we started rubbing our stomach like Homer Simpson... Hmm
    Just stick your hand under your shirt and play with your belly button. If that doesn't work just pretend to scratch your buttof your crotch! :laugh:
  • papa3x
    papa3x Posts: 286
    That is absolutely hilarious! I do not think us women could pull that off though. Maybe if a guy came to the door and we started rubbing our stomach like Homer Simpson... Hmm
    Just stick your hand under your shirt and play with your belly button. If that doesn't work just pretend to scratch your buttof your crotch! :laugh:

    check for navel lint,
  • SLaw4215
    SLaw4215 Posts: 596 Member
    that made me laugh out loud
  • purpleipod
    purpleipod Posts: 1,147 Member
    LOL
  • craigers13
    craigers13 Posts: 241 Member
    I'm going to remember this for the next time they come to my door!
  • deadbeatsummer
    deadbeatsummer Posts: 537 Member
    I LOVE this.

    I usually just shoot them the face that JennaMarbles taught me :p

    hahaa you knowww
  • lalaloses
    lalaloses Posts: 22
    Hilarious!

    I get the carpet cleaning people at least once every few weeks - I just point to my wood floors and say - no thanks...and they always say..."WE DO RUGS!" as I shut the door.
  • kd80538
    kd80538 Posts: 97 Member
    I love it!!!
  • CHEFCH♥ZZ
    CHEFCH♥ZZ Posts: 127
    OH SHI*T!!! im cracking up!!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • blueeyedcristi
    blueeyedcristi Posts: 304 Member
    Hilarious!
  • newman84
    newman84 Posts: 234 Member
    That was halarious

    Most of them stay away form my door because i have a big penticle wreath on my door. Scares away people which can be a good thing when they are coming to push stuff on me i don't want.
  • TamsinEllis
    TamsinEllis Posts: 293
    Haha oh this is great! Luckily out where I live they can't be bothered to come out to to convert me, but my mate once got a particularly annoying pair on his doorstep, as his brother came home he grabbed him and went "I'm so glad your home hunny!", apparently they left him very quickly saying if he should ever want forgiveness for his sins from the lord to contact them.
  • si_puedo
    si_puedo Posts: 138 Member
    :laugh: :drinker: :laugh: :drinker: :laugh: :drinker:
  • Emancipated_Tai
    Emancipated_Tai Posts: 751 Member
    Best post EVER!!! :laugh:
  • SinIsIn
    SinIsIn Posts: 1,865 Member
    Those people always skip over my house!!! I guess I'm lucky!
  • letmebeda1_wechange
    letmebeda1_wechange Posts: 480 Member
    love it!!! lmaooooooooooooooooooo
  • rayleansout
    rayleansout Posts: 234
    Dude - your my hero!!
  • LiviLou2011
    LiviLou2011 Posts: 437 Member
    lmfao that was probably my mom haha
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