A little introspection goes a long way

So, I threw this up on my fledgeling blog ... but was happy enough with everything that I decided to put it here, too.


So, my gym’s got a lot of mirrors. I’d always figured those are mostly for the folks who have advanced to maintenance mode. I mean, I know what I look like. That’s why I’m there after all, right?

But … I actually am appreciating the mirrors now. I’m not sure exactly when this happened. Thinking about it, it was kind of a slow-moving thing. And it’s come in stages.

See, after my nightly workout, I throw on my Easy Street Records hoodie. It shrunk in the wash just a bit, so when I started this thing three months ago it was a little snug. I started wearing it simply because I needed something to throw in the gym bag. After a while, I started to notice that it was fitting better. So I keep wearing it. It serves as kind of a reminder that the work I’m there doing is paying off. I look forward to the day I realize it’s getting a bit big.

Anyway, the mirrors. See, right as you hit the door to the locker room there’s a full-length mirror. Then, outside the locker room, the hallway wall is a floor-to-ceiling mirror. You can’t not see yourself. Over the last few weeks, I’ve found myself kind of glancing purposefully at those mirrors as I leave. And I am starting to appreciate what I’m seeing.

Then, last night … well, that was kind of the big realization. Because there’s another mirror in the locker room. It hangs right in front of the lockers and bench. So, again, you can’t help but see yourself while changing. And when I made the switch from my work clothes to shorts and T-shirt, I kind of paused for a second.

Looking at myself, I saw something. It’s something I haven’t seen before. At least, not that I can remember. I saw what I could be; I saw what I’m working myself into. Sure, I saw the moobs – but the forums are right. I’ve definitely lost a cup size. I saw the love handles, the bowl-full-of-jelly belly. But, you know, both are smaller than they were just three months ago. And I saw that there may actually be the start of some definition on my shoulders and chest.

I saw what I’m fighting for. I saw that I’m on the right path. That this does work. I saw, for the first time, what lies underneath. I saw the me that I want to be.

There’s still plenty of work to be done. There’s still pain and sweat and likely some tears ahead. But all of that is worth it, now that I saw me.