Yoga...

Less worry, more action :-) Seriously though, I'm still 22 pounds overweight and started taking yoga from an outstanding teacher when I was 24 pounds heavier. Like any program, you work up to the difficult stuff. So - it will help you with your balance, it will help with flexibility, you will breathe through your mouth instead of your nose. I don't find yoga mentally relaxing in the same way a warm bath relaxes me, I find it introspective and focusing and rather intense. I do believe a good teacher is incredibly helpful when you're a beginner, so ask/look around, and maybe take a bus to get to them rather than going to the local gym?

Lol...I am laughing because you and I seem the same! I have all of the issues you have (except the breathing part) but I gave in and did yoga anyway. I've been doing P90X for a long time and always skipped the yoga days...but decided several months ago to incorporate yoga even though 1) I suck at it 2) I'm so NOT zen and 3) I have next to no patience to hold the moves. However, after doing it a few times, I got better and have found that it has helped with my endurance level on what seems to be all the other workouts. I still have trouble balancing but I do what I can. I always feel refreshed after finishing.

Give it a shot. The yoga form can be modified to any skill level if you have a good teacher / practice leader. Balance isn't something everybody has; for most people, it is something that they work towards. Each time you practice yoga, you have an opportunity to choose an intention for that practice. Some workouts you may choose to focus on balance, others on flexibility. The things you say you lack are exactly the things that yoga will help you develop.

I started doing yoga about 18 months ago when I was roughly 60 pounds heavier. It was tough, but the instructor offered modifications so I could do some form of every pose. I absolutely love it now and go to yoga classes three times a week. My balance and flexibility have improved tremendously.

Go early and talk to the instructor before your first class so they know to offer suggestions if they see you struggling. Let them know that you can't breathe through your nose. If you are physiologically limited, a good teacher will understand.

I was also really hesitant to begin, but remember that everyone was once a beginner! Although you may struggle with balance & flexibility at first, it does improve! At whichever gym/studio that you begin at, ask for recommendations for beginner classes. For your first couple classes, talk to the instructor before class starts and let them know that your are just starting and may need modifications for some of the poses. A good instructor will be able to help you find your balance. Yoga is all about your personal ability, so try not to focus on other people, but rather how you feel. After a couple classes, you will notice that poses that were unfamiliar are now easier for you. Also be sure to tell your instructor about your breathing--they will understand.

I am not particularly flexible, nor am I good at relaxing, but I really enjoy taking yoga classes. Good luck and have fun!

So I really really want to try yoga but I have a few reservations...

1. I can't balance. I'm not just "not very good", I'm actually terrible! How am I supposed to do some of the poses?!

I can't balance either.. I suck at it! But if you have a proper teacher, she/he will remind you that it is about you and no one else.. so if you can only balance for like 3 seconds great, put that foot down, refocus and try again. If you need to stick your hands out to the side to balance, that works too.

2. I can't breathe through my nose - again, I physically can't. My soft palate wasn't developed properly as I was born prematurely and I struggled to learn. I could do it in an emergency but it takes a lot of effort and doesn't come naturally. I heard yoga is all about breathing through the nose...

It depends on the type of breath that the teacher is having you do. The teacher I take uses a breath that is in through the nose and out through the nose.. and makes an ocean sound in your throat. If you can't do it though, thats ok. Nothing says you have to breathe that way.

3. I am really inflexible - my friends used to call me Stiffler because when I dance, I'm so stiff! I know I'll learn flexibility but don't you need a little to begin with?

Nope, you need no flexibility what so ever. As others said, it comes with time and practice. I could never touch my toes when I bend over.. and I still can't. Am I getting closer though thanks to Yoga? Yes.

4. I don't want to go to classes until I learn how to drive and don't have to go to my local gym, full of snooty stick-thin girls I went to school with, especially not as a beginner!

Honestly, who gives a flying F about those girls? If you want to try it, then you should. I take classes at my local gym and it's full of people young, middle aged and old.. Some are thin, some are fat, some are in-between.. and we all inter-mix fine. Focus on you.. because after all Yoga is a personal journey.

5. I'm worried it'll bore me! I'm not great at relaxing and find "relaxing" things like sunbathing and taking a bath really boring!

I can't relax either, but for some odd reason Yoga does the trick. Once I start focusing on my breathing and the positions, it's like world around me melts away and I'm the only one in the room. I walk out feeling really zen and re-focused.. and ready to tackle my week!