to everyone who has ever been insecure..

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BeautyFromPain
BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
in Motivation and Support
How have you overcome this and started to love yourself && your body? How have you gained confidence?

I have lost 35 pounds and still cringe everytime I walk past a mirror, I legit cannot stand how I look && feel like everyone must hate me cos of my looks.

ETA : It is not only my looks, but I just do not believe in myself or believe I can do anything and am always comparing myself to others. Also, I started school 6 weeks ago && my brain was trying to tell me to quit the course because I don't deserve to be happy. I'm not going to quit... but I just wanna change how I feel about myself :/ I just legit hate myself... and I don't know how to stop...
***This post is not looking for sympathy, or attention but for advice.***

Replies

  • slimlady2012
    slimlady2012 Posts: 5
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    You have a lot of work so far, you lost 35 lbs. For that you should be in love with you, look at yourself and tell you job well done and smile you earned it.
  • tataliciousd89
    tataliciousd89 Posts: 465
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    No idea! I'm still insecure as hell, but I love me to death. I can't say that ever goes away no matter how much you love yourself. I'm ****in awesome!!!!!!
  • bigredhearts
    bigredhearts Posts: 428
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    write a list, of all the things you love about yourself, physical and otherwise. look at it every single day. look in the mirror and think "damn, i look good! i love me." a behavior repeated enough times will become a habit and you will begin to feel the effects of your self love. once you feel it, you wont go back.
  • emancipateurself
    emancipateurself Posts: 174 Member
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    Loving yourself shouldn't be based on what you look like period.

    Loving yourself is a long *kitten* process that takes a lot of emotional pain. Especially for those that haven't loved themselves ever....or been insecure about their looks.

    This society we live in basis our value alot of times on our looks.....it's f*cked...

    anyway not ranting or anything lol just saying it's about looking deep within yourself and figuring out what's your insecurities really about.
  • Brandicaloriecountess
    Brandicaloriecountess Posts: 2,126 Member
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    You are super cute.

    I am totally confidant until I take my clothes off lol.
  • ella_yanai
    ella_yanai Posts: 3 Member
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    believe people who tell you how great you look and what great progress youve made. if other people say it- they cant ALL be lying can they?:)
    hope this will pass quickly for you- it's a horrible feeling
  • bigdawg025
    bigdawg025 Posts: 774 Member
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    I'm insecure... and it has nothing to do with weight... mine is quite internal. I go through phases... sometimes I feel great about myself... other times I despise myself... but I ALWAYS feel like I LOOK good... funny, huh???

    The brain is a very strange thing sometimes... I just keep working on it, though. That's all you can do.

    Your progress is awesome by the way! Your mind will catch up to you soon enough. I promise! *hugs*
  • Becky_Boodle
    Becky_Boodle Posts: 253 Member
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    35 pounds is a great accomplishment!!!
    are you incorporating strength training into your workout schedule...
    it makes a huge difference in the apperance of your body...
  • Starla_
    Starla_ Posts: 349
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    I focus on the parts I like... as those parts get better then the parts I don't like as much start to look better too....

    On my bad bad bad days I would seriously plonk myself in the mirror and study my face, like i do when i draw people (i only drew myself properly for the first time a couple of months ago), the more i looked the more i would see of myself and in the end i wouldn't feel so bad and started to like things I never liked before. I also would do my makeup and hair and dress up and take photos and then I would go through them and study them trying to find fault.. most the time i couldn't find as many faults as i imagined I could see before I took pictures.

    Rather than shying away from your reflection.. force yourself to really take a look. All too often I think we really miss the things that make us special because we are too scared to look hard enough.
  • DataBased
    DataBased Posts: 513 Member
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    I had a very wise person once take me to a busy intersection where there was an outdoor seating area where we could sip on coffees and chat. He had me tell him when I saw somebody I thought I might be willing to "trade places" with. The truth is, there weren't that many. Sure, there were lots of people prettier than me, or thinner than me. But as I watched, I realized they were all dealing with *something*.

    I'm all about dealing with the devil I know better than the devil I don't. I know what I face. I know my weaknesses, my little odd-ball things I do. But I'd rather be me, with all my own victories and all my own faults and all those things I have still to work on - than anybody else in the world.

    I've earned every gray hair and wrinkle I have. Every stretch mark on my stomach is a memory etched in my heart of my child-bearing years. You have no idea how fast those years go, or how much you come to miss them later.

    What's' really important to remember, though, is that most of the people you meet are dealing with some serious problems - often the same insecurities you're dealing with yourself! You'd treat them with respect, right? Well -- you're worthy of respect and love, also.

    We're all connected. We''re all part of the same fabric. Just be the best you that you can be, and love yourself for who and what you are.

    :flowerforyou:
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
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    35 pounds is a great accomplishment!!!
    are you incorporating strength training into your workout schedule...
    it makes a huge difference in the apperance of your body...

    yes...
  • kelley_lynn
    kelley_lynn Posts: 133 Member
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    I wish i could give you advice, you will hear. But like any advice, you can take bits from a lot, or just one little bit... from one that hits home.

    I can only give you this. And i think I said this to a close friend once or twice. Find that one little thing, about you, that you like. Be in body, or soul, or mind. You will have days when you cant find one, BUT when maybe you can go a week, and find a good point, then the next week, find two good things about you. There is a lot of great advice, here for you, from members. Keep your mind open, and something will hit home.

    Now if only i could follow my own advice, I am yet, to have a month, let alone a week, that i find something great about me, let alone good. And i have been here way to long, on the earth i mean, to feel this insecure about my self. Long story as in why, i guess... Im still learning about me.

    I see something good, you have asked for advice... :) To me that makes you human, and alive, and that is a great point.
  • Starla_
    Starla_ Posts: 349
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    if its not just about looks then you need to find your happy and once you find it don't let anyone take it away from you.

    I used to think the same way... didnt think i could do anything, didnt think i was worth anything really and then i found myself... all of a sudden a switch turned on in my head and i realised how much i had been holding myself back, how much i hadnt lived. the world was so much brighter and i was happy. now im following my dreams, the dreams i never thought possible or others said were pointless...

    finding your happy is different for everyone but it can be done. don't give up and trust your heart because it will lead you there.

    All that kind of thinking is part of depression too. it is not failing if you need medication or therapy. I had (have been ok for about 6 months now) post traumatic stress disorder mixed with some pretty hardcore depression at times ... almost bipolar in my moods when it was bad.... i had/have had this for 13 years.... hate medication myself but i found music to be a huge help. Finding people to talk to, recognising the signs and knowing how to combat it early on and doing things that you really enjoy and love... not just say you do but the things that make you feel most at peace with yourself will all help :)

    You will get there in the end as long as you don't give up. Inside yourself is this person whose been waiting patiently to show her smile to the world... :)

    Edit - spelling lol
  • Amy_nz
    Amy_nz Posts: 145
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    Many years of insecurity here. But only if I consider my appearance (I'm big now - but getting smaller! - but even when small I'm not pretty. I have a face only my mother could love). If I consider the whole package I don't measure up too badly - I have two brain cells to rub together, I'm quite nice I think and people like being around me.

    If I had to choose between being thin and nasty and round and nice, I'd completely choose the latter. (But I'm aiming for thin and nice.)

    I suppose my advice would be to think about who you like to spend time around. If you would want to spend time around you - job done! If you wouldn't, then have think about the elements of you that you think could change and go from there.
  • Marty_D
    Marty_D Posts: 39 Member
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    as long as I am actively trying to do something (eating right and exercising) to improve my health, my confidence is at its highest. I may look the same to people, but the positive mental impact is a major factor in how I interact with loved ones and the world at large.

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