How to help my mom?!!!??!!!

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secretgirl4611
secretgirl4611 Posts: 474 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Well I have been on my own weight loss journey and doin ok myself. My MOM is in dire need to lose weight!!
I guess she has a thyroid problem, high blood and cholesterol and shes now a type 2 diabetic. Her doctor says she needs to lose some weight. Shes gonna be 51 this year shes about 5'3 and weighs around 275lbs.
:( I know she wants to lose weight, but I know she has no motivation in her to do it. She takes meds. all sorts of different kinds for pain, depression and other things. And she always has DR. appointments for I don't know what. My brother says he thinks she has breast cancer. But she never talks to us about those kinds of things.
ANY TIPS ABOUT HOW I CAN GET MY MOM MOVING AND INTO BETTER HEALTH. WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED. She tried Zumba with me twice and then she gave up cuz she couldnt do it.
ANYONE WITH SIMILAR ISSUES THAT ARE DOIN GOOD NOW, PLEASE SHED SOME LIGHT FOR ME ON HOW I CAN HELP HER.
Thanks :)
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Replies

  • daffodilsoup
    daffodilsoup Posts: 1,972 Member
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    If she isn't motivated herself, then your only option is to be a good example and leave the door of opportunity open. Be a good example through your own diet and activity habits.

    My mom and I cook healthy foods together, and if I'm going for a walk I always invite her. She doesn't always take me up on it, but when she does we have a great time chatting and bonding. I can't force her to do anything, but I am always bringing it up. Your mom will decide to start her journey when she is ready.
  • sewedo1
    sewedo1 Posts: 200 Member
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    Inviting her to go along with exercise is a great way to get her moving and to get the two of you together. It may help her to open up to you more about her health if you're spending time and we know exercise helps with depression, too. I think it's best not to tell her that she "needs" to diet or exercise, rather, focus on enloying healthy foods and exercise in her presence. If Zumba is too hard, perhaps a walk outside a couple times a week or to gym together with treadmill where you can each go at your own pace. You cannot change or fix your Mom but she might learn something from your good model.
  • secretgirl4611
    secretgirl4611 Posts: 474 Member
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    Thank you! Yes I'm def. gonna have to figure out a plan of action and sit down with her and see how I can help her. I guess its harder when we haven't ever really bonded. my relationship with my mom and dad is few words here and there, they are not really bonding type of parents.
  • ezrahartman
    ezrahartman Posts: 16
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    if she's just starting out, she needs to start slow and feel comfortable with what she's doing! She has several issues to work with...why don't you start with walks after dinner or first thing in the morning (dependent on your schedules). With daylight savings time, it'll be light out for awhile so here is the perfect chance to connect with her and hopefully lose some weight. Fifty-one is a hard age to drop weight but it can be done! Best of luck to you...keep posting your thoughts. :smile:
  • secretgirl4611
    secretgirl4611 Posts: 474 Member
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    Can just walking really help her to lose weight? I know prob. slowly but anything is good. and How should we do that? like how many times a day or for how long? We do have a walkway path in our town.
  • Pandorian
    Pandorian Posts: 2,055 MFP Moderator
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    Walking can indeed help lose weight. It doesn't take a gym membership whether its $20 a month or $100 a month. The stuff you can step outside and go at your own pace / comfort level to keep you wanting to go again (IE don't push her the first few times out, do what she thinks she can and strive over time to better the distance / pace / total time) but let her build up, surprise her with it. Track how long it takes to do the walk the first time, then show her how much further you've gone in the same time frame down the road, it's eye opening sometimes ;)
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
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    Can just walking really help her to lose weight? I know prob. slowly but anything is good. and How should we do that? like how many times a day or for how long? We do have a walkway path in our town.


    Yes, walking can begin to help her! It's a great way for her to start getting more activity daily. Good luck!
  • Le_Joy
    Le_Joy Posts: 593 Member
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    I know lots of people who lose weight from walking. I got my mom a Leslie Sansone (sp?) DVD for $1 at Goodwill. She can't walk outside very far because she gets tired after one block and has to rest. This way she can do it in her home and rest whenever she needs. The dvds aren't much if you by them new.
  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
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    Walking is a great way to boost weight loss. It clears the head, helps depression and bonds the people walking together also. As much as I love Zumba for results, going for walks with my family does me and them the world of good. Get on as many walks as possibe, let her know she can talk about anything and most importantly just listen... It means the world to anyone. X
  • LoveAngie23
    LoveAngie23 Posts: 41
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    I've been wondering this myself. We are 2 completely different fitness levels and I'm not sure where she should start. My mom is interested in getting healthier but I don't want to challenge her too much because I don't want her to get frustrated. :-/
  • cjsgrimlin
    cjsgrimlin Posts: 246
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    just walking at a slow pace for half and hour is a good start and work up to walking longer. Eventually she might (after she feels more confidant that she can) want to start C25k, its a good training program. 3 times a week at a slow pace (you can even extend it to make the program longer). I'm having the same issues with my mother, but she doesn't even try in my eyes (hidden pounds of candy, starches out the ears, fried everything)
  • future_marathoner
    future_marathoner Posts: 170 Member
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    You have to just lead by example. I tell my mom some of my tips and tricks. I ask that we eat healthy while were at her house "for my purposes" but really for hers. Just about everytime I lose another pound I tell her in hopes of motivating her. She recently just had a health scare and it scared me just as much as it scared her I think. I've kept on her about eating right, and not eating fast food etc. They said that smoking was another cause of her health issues. So I quit smoking in support of her too. As of now, she still doesn't eat great. She's still smoking. I told her I would teach her all about MFP and how great it is, but she didn't seem to want to join. But hopefully by me getting healthier she will want to too. You can't force it and you don't want them to feel like you are targeting them or pestering them. I also feel like, even though I've lost 70 lbs, I still have such a long way to go that I don't have the right to lecture too much yet. But just keep up the good example and hope for the best.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    As the adult-child of an obese parent, I suggest therapy (mental). I'm not purposely trying to offend you or your mom. 9 times out of 10 people who are obese have had something happen to them either an ongoing thing often since childhood, or some kind of serious trauma in life. As a child, mom was horribly verbally abused and rejected by my grandmother. This caused her to do things as a teenager that were very serious. She became an alcoholic in that time, and at some point in my childhood she returned to using food to comfort her instead of booze. She was only able to lose weight when she was also taking care of herself emotionally.

    So, I'm just saying that there's likely something else at work inside of your mom besides a lack of motivation.
  • nnylee
    nnylee Posts: 814 Member
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    If she isn't motivated to do it for herself, it's going to be very hard for you to get her to do it. You could start her out with walking a lot, but unless she really is motivated, she might just do it the first couple of times and then interest will trickle away. People lose weight because THEY want to do it for themselves. Not because other people tell them to, unfortunately. Good luck with your mom!
  • carolanne84
    carolanne84 Posts: 53 Member
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    I def would start by a daily walk with her start out small and work your way up to longer distances. Maybe make a few meals a week for her? Show her that she can eat healthy and it still taste good. Maybe get her to make an mfp acct. to log her daily food intake or a journal at home to write what she eats down in. A lot of people do not realize that they eat what they do until they see it wrote down. Some times that is enough of a wake up call to get into better shape. Lots of encouragement helps too. Good luck with her, its never an easy journey if cancer is involved my mother in law to be has had cancer on and off for 3 years now and it wears on their body majorly.
  • nerdyandilikeit
    nerdyandilikeit Posts: 2,185 Member
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    Can just walking really help her to lose weight? I know prob. slowly but anything is good. and How should we do that? like how many times a day or for how long? We do have a walkway path in our town.

    My mom's straight up disabled. She can barely walk from one end of her apartment to the other without loads of pain, and forget about standing still for any length of time. She's been losing weight slowly from diet alone, so yes, walking by itself can help her lose weight.

    You don't need to go crazy and be a gym rat to do it, that just works better for some people. There's no rules about what is exercise as long as you're moving your body more than usual. I'm sure a walk even just 3 times a week for as long as she can stand it at first will do loads of good, especially with watching her diet more carefully.
  • JadeRabbit08
    JadeRabbit08 Posts: 551 Member
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    Don't underestimate the powerful amount of good produced from a short gentle walk.
    She is carrying alot of weight on a smaller frame and so to start with even around the block is a great start.

    If she is battling a serious disease like cancer she may not have the energy to do much. Programs like the biggest loser and the diet industry encourage us to think if we are very overweight then drastic measures need to be taken. Thats not the case. A small deficit will start weight loss, replacing unhealthy foods with more nutrient dense foods (like fresh raw veg and dark leafy greens) will help with her energy levels and other health problems.

    It doesn't have to be a huge exertion. Like changing course on a ship, just a few degrees difference and you have recharted your course.

    Just love your mum and be gentle and patient, the final choice towards a healthier life will have to come from her.
  • secretgirl4611
    secretgirl4611 Posts: 474 Member
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    As the adult-child of an obese parent, I suggest therapy (mental). I'm not purposely trying to offend you or your mom. 9 times out of 10 people who are obese have had something happen to them either an ongoing thing often since childhood, or some kind of serious trauma in life. As a child, mom was horribly verbally abused and rejected by my grandmother. This caused her to do things as a teenager that were very serious. She became an alcoholic in that time, and at some point in my childhood she returned to using food to comfort her instead of booze. She was only able to lose weight when she was also taking care of herself emotionally.

    So, I'm just saying that there's likely something else at work inside of your mom besides a lack of motivation.

    No offense taken :) shes already in therapy. um, she wasnt really that overweight 4yrs ago. I know It has alot to do with my older brother going to prison back in 2008 hes in federal prison for the next 9more years.. as its been hard on all of us. Cuz we all miss him so much especially her. and now she deals with the stress of him gone. hoping we dont ever get a call saying hes dead. and she recently just took in his 12yr old son, so now shes raising my problematic 15yr old brother. my ADHD hyper active 11yr old brother and my very good nephew. I know its hard for her right now. and thats why shes gained so much weight :(
  • Gwenski
    Gwenski Posts: 348 Member
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    Hi there!
    What a loving daughter you are to care so much and seek advice. Honestly, some folks would just say "She's an adult, it's her problem".. so bless you!
    I am about the same height and weight as your mom.. and was heading to her condition very quickly. What worked for me? Being desperate enough to consider bypass surgery.. I went to the info. session and the fear of having to do that was enough to kick me in the butt! However, it was two things said at that session that really helped me start off easy and on the right foot. Perhaps you could just mention and show her these two things by example, and if she picks up on them.. it might start the journey for her.
    #1 Eat REALLY REALLY SLOWLY. I'm talking make bites the size of a baby spoon.. chew them thoroughly and then swallow. It will take well over half an hour to eat a meal. Honestly, she will feel full after about 25-30 minutes. It makes an amazing difference. If you do it a few times she will see really how little one needs to eat to fill up.
    #2 DO NOT DRINK ANYTHING WITH MEALS Wait at least 1/2 hour after a meal to have a drink. To often, we eat a big meal and 'push it through' or 'wash it down' our system , leaving.. you guessed it an empty stomach immediately after eating. This one trick has been a HUGE help to me. Those drinks - whether coffee, water, milk, pop were whisking away my meals . I think a big part of the fast-food problems our countries face is simply the huge drinks provided with 'combo meals' I was hungry 1/2 an hour after I ate a big meal and so, I had a snack, and a drink.. and, you guessed it... an hour later, another snack. The parade went on and on and on and on. Now, I'm always satisfied after a good meal, and only VERY RARELY hungry. You don't have to be hungry to lose weight.. it's a myth.
    Best wishes!
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    As the adult-child of an obese parent, I suggest therapy (mental). I'm not purposely trying to offend you or your mom. 9 times out of 10 people who are obese have had something happen to them either an ongoing thing often since childhood, or some kind of serious trauma in life. As a child, mom was horribly verbally abused and rejected by my grandmother. This caused her to do things as a teenager that were very serious. She became an alcoholic in that time, and at some point in my childhood she returned to using food to comfort her instead of booze. She was only able to lose weight when she was also taking care of herself emotionally.

    So, I'm just saying that there's likely something else at work inside of your mom besides a lack of motivation.

    No offense taken :) shes already in therapy. um, she wasnt really that overweight 4yrs ago. I know It has alot to do with my older brother going to prison back in 2008 hes in federal prison for the next 9more years.. as its been hard on all of us. Cuz we all miss him so much especially her. and now she deals with the stress of him gone. hoping we dont ever get a call saying hes dead. and she recently just took in his 12yr old son, so now shes raising my problematic 15yr old brother. my ADHD hyper active 11yr old brother and my very good nephew. I know its hard for her right now. and thats why shes gained so much weight :(

    Good, then it sounds like she stands a good chance at losing some weight. Maybe she'll be able to re-channel her feelings about your brother to something positive. I like the idea of walking as a start. Good luck to her.

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