Down With The De-Motivators!!!

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hopelessdieter2012
hopelessdieter2012 Posts: 39
in Motivation and Support
Sorry guys but i need to vent!!

I'm hopefully on my way to a healthier and more happier me...at present im 212lbs (down from 217lbs) my target 112lbs/50.8kg/8st at 5'2 its is a reasonable weight (for me) and within my healthy BMI.

I thought this was a nice target and i know at this weight i was my happiest its not about being thin, i felt 100% healthy and comfortable there, but where I felt my best. I have set little targets along the way so i'm kept encouraged when i meet them :)

Since changing my lifestyle, weight loss is a lifestyle change not a quick fix, i have been met with negative comments from those around me. Mostly it being unrealistic to maintain, i'm in dreamland about getting there, i'm fine the way i am, i cant survive on 1500 calories...etc

At this point i'm thankful for MFP and for those member that encourage, without it i may have crumbled under the negativity! I understand those who care but i am not putting myself in any danger i do not overdo the exercise or eat minimal calories a day. Its the spiteful people that are getting me down, the ones that would love me to remain the way i am, as my weight gains turned me into a social hermit.

I just wondered how you guys have dealt with any negativity (if any) you have had along the way.

xxxx
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Replies

  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
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    Negativity happens, the key is to push through it. Crazy enough from going on day 205 of this journey I've realized the biggest negativity comes usually from yourself. You just have to dig deep and push through it. Others can be negative but honestly this is your journey and you can just pass them by. The hard negativity is from yourself when you hit plateau's and etc. Just keep pushing through and know that this isn't a quick race, so if something isn't going as planned as long as you trying to keep on the path that everything will be fine. Keep it up!
  • darrenlees
    darrenlees Posts: 65 Member
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    You just have to do what you think is best, though some people may just be trying to help rather than being mean.
    If they really are just trying to bring you down then ignore them, that's what i do, they maybe just jealous that you are making an effort to resolve your unhappiness.

    Keep with it and focus on the positive comments from people both that know you and on here, its a great community on MFP!
  • Llstemmer
    Llstemmer Posts: 10
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    Hi! Sounds like we have a lot of the same goals. I too and 5' 2" and my starting weight was 210, now down to 199. That was a huge success for me just to see the first number on my scale as a 1! Anyway, I have dealt with some negative, or should I say jealous people, in my journey. My way of dealing with it, is I ignore it. I have no place for negativity in my life. This is about me and how I feel about myself, and no one else. Good luck with the rest of your journey!!
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
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    I let my rage consume me and turn it into motivation to burn more fat and keep going. Also it comes in handy to post on message boards and become snarky.
    Pretty much like what a dark lord of the sith must do, but like if he was Richard Simmons.
  • dls06
    dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
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    I've been maintaining for almost a year. My family keeps telling me I'm too skinny but I am happy where I am. You have to do what is right for you.
  • vjrose
    vjrose Posts: 809 Member
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    Just keep your head down and go for it. As you begin to be visibly thinner they may start asking you how you are doing it and you can just say "eating healthy, this is a pemanent lifestyle change". 1500 calories is a nice healthy number and will give you consistent results with exercise mixed in. When I first started this journey I was excited and mentioned it around people who really didn't want to hear it. Fortunately I am far away from my family (all heavy) so I am spared their ridicule. I feel for you, folks are really ignorant about weight loss.
  • jacquirich
    jacquirich Posts: 105 Member
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    I have a similar target 125lbs and have about 94lbs to lose currently weight 217lbs. I have also met with the same comments from a few - but hey when we compared what we ate, there were more nutrients in my 1400-1500 kcals than there 2000+ kcals, and I have to say the most comments came from people who had a few pounds to lose them selves. My biggest supporters have been the young fit gym bunny men - who have shared recipes and make encouraging comments everyday
  • lstnlondry
    lstnlondry Posts: 1,794 Member
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    Negativity happens, the key is to push through it. Crazy enough from going on day 205 of this journey I've realized the biggest negativity comes usually from yourself. You just have to dig deep and push through it. Others can be negative but honestly this is your journey and you can just pass them by. The hard negativity is from yourself when you hit plateau's and etc. Just keep pushing through and know that this isn't a quick race, so if something isn't going as planned as long as you trying to keep on the path that everything will be fine. Keep it up!

    I couldn't agree more with this response!
    But if you need something more, all the people around you will have to get their act together sooner or later you need to be ready when they come to YOU for help!
  • omgitsgarry
    omgitsgarry Posts: 138
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    You just keep on trucking! When I first started, everyone kind of didn't understand it. They thought it was a great idea in theory, they didn't think it would work, ect. Well a year and some change later, I'm down 71 pounds and they are all on it themselves. Just stick to it and eventually it will become a habit. They'll soon see how great you are doing and want to join themselves.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    I let my rage consume me and turn it into motivation to burn more fat and keep going. Also it comes in handy to post on message boards and become snarky.
    Pretty much like what a dark lord of the sith must do, but like if he was Richard Simmons.

    This, only not Richard Simmons. More like Julia Child, but if she was a fitness enthusiast and alive.
  • JoolieW68
    JoolieW68 Posts: 1,879 Member
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    First of all, KUDOS to you for setting a goal and working towards it. That's a huge first step that lots of people don''t take.

    Your goal weight is just fine for your height, but as you get closer only you can decide if it's the goal you really want.

    Don't let the Debbie Downers affect your motivation. Know that you are doing this for YOU and not for them. Brush them off, and keep on truckin!

    Btw, my mother has told me several times that I'm too skinny now and shouldn't lose any more weight. I am 5' 10" and 163lbs, which is a very healthy weight for me. I don't plan to lose more, but I still don't think I'm 'skinny'. :)
  • jbakerak
    jbakerak Posts: 76
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    I just don't let it get to me. If 122 is where you were most comfortable, then that's all you can really say. 122 on you isn't necessarily 122 on someone else. Different heights, body builds etc. Also, as de-motivating as it seems, people might be telling you that you don't need to lose weight because they think you don't feel good about yourself and want you to. Just keep at it, you'll feel so much better in the end. And when you make it there, all those de-motivators will be asking you for tips on how you did it!
  • NIKKI4758
    NIKKI4758 Posts: 1
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    Those people want you to join them in their misery. Look out for you! - and switch friends if they can't deal with it.
  • jdhosier
    jdhosier Posts: 315 Member
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    First, congratulations on your decision to take your fitness into your own hands. You are already better off for it.

    When it comes to the negativity around you, we all have different experiences. My family has been trying to get me to do something for years, so they are very supportive. All I can suggest is that you quietly go about doing what you need to do and turn a deaf ear to the negativity. There are plenty of people here on MFP who are more than happy to be supportive of your new lifestyle changes.

    Eventually, you will start getting the NSVs (Non-Scale Victories) where people will say "you are looking great" and ask, "Have you lost weight?" Those NSVs will feel great. Surprisingly, when people ask, and you tell them how you did it, you will get a lot more negativity from some. It is amazing how people need to justify their bad behavior and lack of self discipline. All you can do is ignore it.

    I wish there was a better way. Maybe someone else will have a better idea.

    Friend me if you like. I try to be encouraging to my MFP friends.
  • byroman
    byroman Posts: 75 Member
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    Most of that negativity will go away when they start to see results. Then you will get things like, "you are wasting away to nothing!' "You are getting too skinny!" usually from people who are envious of where you are going. I just tell people that I have decided to change my lifestyle. I am not on a diet, I am on a budget. When I get where I want to be, by budget will change.
  • mamamc03
    mamamc03 Posts: 1,067 Member
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    I let my rage consume me and turn it into motivation to burn more fat and keep going. Also it comes in handy to post on message boards and become snarky.
    Pretty much like what a dark lord of the sith must do, but like if he was Richard Simmons.

    I <3 Richard Simmons!!
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
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    i cant survive on 1500 calories...etc

    You don't survive on 1500 calories, you bump up to maintenance once you've hit your gw, just FYI.
  • Spinelli2288
    Spinelli2288 Posts: 188 Member
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    I used it as motivation, easier said than done, I know, but that is all you can do! I'm down 30 pounds, plan to go for another 20, and my own mother tells me, "You're going to gain it all back you know. Just remember, I didn't give you my metabolism and I doubt you will be as skinny as me. I love that dress, I'd borrow it but I would drown in it." It's a horrible thing that she does, but it makes me work harder, not for her, but for myself. My motivation is what has got me this far, and it will get me down 20 more pounds. Don't let other people get you down, they're jealous of your drive to be better. :happy:
  • swordsmith
    swordsmith Posts: 599 Member
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    What Ifound odd was how many people at first who said go for it but then as I lost weight, got healthier and started putting on muscle became super-negative/demotivating! These people (used to) all of a sudden start dropping Halloween candy, donuts, etc on my desk as well as the comments of "you dont want to get too thin", "you know you wont keep it off", and so on. Of course the vast majority of these people are also massively overweight and I know are jealous because they dont want to put the work in.

    WHat did I do? Well I am a kind of grouchy person to begin with so it was easy for me to cut them out of my life. It became easier when people would continue bringing me junk, I would say "no thank you", they would "insist" I have high cal piece o' junk, and I would make a big show of picking my garbage can up and sweeping the offering into it.

    Ignore the demotivators- put your head down and carry on is my advice! :)
  • jacquirich
    jacquirich Posts: 105 Member
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    On one occaision was in a meeting, one of the partners always supplies Krispy cream donuts, varous fizzy drinks (never sugar free or diet) and loads of bags of crisps and cakebars. I was sat with a homemade graze box (my new way of coping with thses meetings) it was full of celery, cherry tomatoes, radishes, and I also had a punnet of blueberries which I was nibbling on. The director of operations turned to me and said "gosh don't you eat a lot" I then pointed out that she had eaten two krispy cremes, a galaxy cake bar and three bags of crisps, and worked out the KCals for her, she was amazed !!!!

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