Every Mom's worst nightmare!!!!

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smittenmikish
smittenmikish Posts: 56
in Motivation and Support
I struggled for a long time about even posting this, but I need the support/help/advice....

...... For a year and a half I have been going through the most nightmarish divorce imaginable from an INCREDIBLY abusive/controlling soon-to-be ex husband.... who liked to keep me fat so that no one else would want me... but then behind closed doors chastize myself for it....

I have been with an amazing man for a while now who thinks I'm beautiful as is and met me at one of my highest weights and every day tells me I'm beautiful... I've never felt better in my whole life and I've been consistently losing weight....

.... I've hit a recent plateau where all I want to eat that was spurred on by a scary event....

Both my daughter (5) and son (3) came home saying that their father who has visits supervised by his mom, choked my 3 year old son for pooping in his pants on accident and that he was dragged to the bathroom by his throat!!!!!!! :noway: My poor children are so frightened.

Since this happened, of course, after police involvement etc.... it sounds like they are trying to push for felony charges on him, and visits have ceased.

But after having to face the fear of him again and now fear that my kids have which I have tried to protect them from for years, I feel out of control, like I did when I was with him. The fear he puts into me triggers me into a downward spiral. I haven't truly gained yet, but I've been hovering and maintaining. I haven't felt this out of control in a long time. :sad: I just want to eat a whole container of peanut butter, a giant mountain of pasta, and never stop.

I really don't know how to reign in the feelings... I didn't think I struggled with emotional eating as I have been doing awesomely well for over a year now!!

ANY ADVICE IS APPRECIATED....

Replies

  • JackboyE
    JackboyE Posts: 32 Member
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    Crikey. Really sorry to hear about the ex :( I'm too inexperienced in life to make a comment about the whole situation but it sounds like you're doing great moving on, good luck with that.

    As for the diet, you're in control. Don't let things mess with your diet! You have complete control over that and the only person who can put the food in your mouth is you
    I just want to eat a whole container of peanut butter, a giant mountain of pasta, and never stop.

    Do you REALLY want to? Answer = Noooo :)
  • smittenmikish
    smittenmikish Posts: 56
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    Do you REALLY want to? Answer = Noooo :)

    Touche. Still takes every bit of effort to not...! I just gotta start feeling strong again.
  • jrmtank
    jrmtank Posts: 15
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    WOW, I too have been through a divorce many years ago now. I also stayed heavy in my marriage. I have always struggled with my weight since my bad marriage. A therapist told me once that food is the good girls drug. That makes sense because I used food to cope. It sounds like you are just wanting to fall back into the old life patterns to get rid of those old familiar feelings again. Keep on keeping on. You will make it through this part of your life although it doesn't think so at the time. I promise you will be an
    Amazing women when this is all over. Wishing you Best wishes and Blessings!

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