Am I the only one?

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kal_el83
kal_el83 Posts: 38 Member
in Motivation and Support
Maybe it's just me, but I'm having a difficult time finding support or even some basic consideration towards my wieghtloss/fitness journey at home. I hate to say it, but at times it seems like the other adults in this house (mother-in-law and wife) are actually out to sabotage me. And when I do have any success, small or large, I just get dismissed. So much so that it's to the point when I don't even share my successes with them anymore. Is anyone else having or experienced this as some point? And if so, how did you overcome the situation? It's really wreaking havoc on my mentally.... =/

Replies

  • Im_NotPerfect
    Im_NotPerfect Posts: 2,181 Member
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    Well the first thing I told myself was "I have to do this for ME and no one else". So while I share my successes, it's more important that I'M impressed by myself and what I've done. They just don't get it because they're not doing the work.

    I'm sorry they're not supportive, but that's where this community really comes in handy! :) We're here for you!!
  • kit_katty
    kit_katty Posts: 994 Member
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    Unfortunately, it seems that most people on this site have this problem. You may want to talk to them and ask why they're behaving like that. Sometimes it's jealousy, sometimes it's insecurity, sometimes they are just not nice people. That's why MFP is here, we're supportive and we get it. Good luck!
  • UponThisRock
    UponThisRock Posts: 4,522 Member
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    The best revenge is blowing their minds by eating moderate amounts of the stuff they try to sabotage you with and still losing weight.
  • Connie1979
    Connie1979 Posts: 77 Member
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    I definately do.....but when the odds are stacked against me I work that much harder because I feel like I have something to prove...I know this is cliche..but let your haters be your motivators.....So what, if they dismiss the small accomplishments, but just think, enough small accomplishments in the long run will make a HUGE difference and they will have no choice but to notice.
  • mkmacf
    mkmacf Posts: 101
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    I find that some people get weird about it. And it's not even that I discuss it with them. Even during down more pizza or saying no to dessert makes some members of my family get defensive. For some I think it highlights the unhealthy choices in their own lives.
  • fluecok
    fluecok Posts: 52
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    i have that same problem all the time

    the response to "guys a lost 7 pounds!" was "oh great, but i think i just found them, on ur butt!"
    so yea i know how u feel

    i dont tell them my progress no more, at all!

    and if it wasnt for awesome ppl like u guys, i dont know where i'd be!
  • bobthesmogs
    bobthesmogs Posts: 58 Member
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    I find that some people get weird about it. And it's not even that I discuss it with them. Even during down more pizza or saying no to dessert makes some members of my family get defensive. For some I think it highlights the unhealthy choices in their own lives.


    This! It's certainly highlighting something in their lives that they have an issue with. It's got little to do with you! Be proud of your accomplishments, make these changes for you and no-one else. Stick with MFP and you'll find lots of support from like minded people. Best Wishes for your journey to better health and a better life.
  • knollmma
    knollmma Posts: 21 Member
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    I think it's just jealousy. If I alert my family that I'm going to go spend some time at the gym, they sometimes try to discourage me from going or ask me why I'm going. I think they get upset that they can't motivate themselves the way I am, and are getting jealous of my successes. Just remember that you're doing this for yourself, and if they can't be happy for you, at least you're doing something to make yourself healthier and happier in the long run.
  • reedkaus
    reedkaus Posts: 250 Member
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    haters gonna hate. keep doing what you're doing
  • MrsKosal
    MrsKosal Posts: 415 Member
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    I agree with previous posters, who have said that you have to do this for you and you alone! And if people cannot recognize your accomplishments, they could just be jealous and too lazy to start doing it themselves. I've ran into that before. Just keep on doing what you are doing.
  • rrchris
    rrchris Posts: 8 Member
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    One thing I have learned on MFP is that you are never alone. My background is pretty much sales and sales management. Having said that...let me also say that in many walks of life you will find that there will be people who will "applaud" your sucess and there will be people who will "NOT"...those who do are more than likely on the same playing field and who appreciate the thrill of going after a good challenge. Those who don't generally like the end result but without the work. Therefore when they see someone who is achieving and working it is in their nature to see the negative rather than the positive. I have seen this so often with my people.

    Everyone has their own 100% of what they are able to do and achieve. Your 100% is yours and how you handle it is up to you. Their 100% might be comperable to 50% of yours. So basically they aren't where you are and won't be because they don't "get it". It doesen't make anyone a bad person though. It is just that we all have our own layers of "umph"...LOL

    Keep on keeping on no matter what. You have lost 30 POUNDS...Holy Cow...that is a small person when you think of it!! I am just getting started here but I appreciate a good challenge too =) Be proud out loud and if they don't make you feel great about it then find you some buddies right on here and we can all share with each other!!

    Just remember while negative will create negative...POSITIVE WILL CREATE MORE POSITIVE!!! SOOOO...DANCE LIKE NOBODY IS WATCHING AND DON'T GIVE UP...DO THIS FOR YOU!!! YOU ARE WORTH IT =)
  • ladyhawkgg
    ladyhawkgg Posts: 26
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    From the looks of your weight scale your doing a great job. Keep up the good work. Maybe they are not looking in the mirror and or they can't see that maybe they need to be with you too. I am sure you have discussed this with them and if they continue maybe they need to keep all their goodies some where other then right in front of you. I know Hubby and I are both trying and if it was just one of us then it would be a strain. Hold your head high and keep telling yourself your going to be healthy.
  • treetop57
    treetop57 Posts: 1,578 Member
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    In general, human beings fear change. You are changing, which makes them fear they will have to change. They'd much rather you stay your same old unhealthy self because they are comfortable with your same old unhealthy self.
  • kal_el83
    kal_el83 Posts: 38 Member
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    Thanks you guys! You have all been really helpful and I certainly do appreciate the support of the community here! It's just upsetting to not be able to rely on the ones closest to me when I need to if that makes any sense.....
  • ladyplaz
    ladyplaz Posts: 186 Member
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    Oh ya, I get that. My family is trying to be supportive but.... I have asked close family (brother, in-laws, and grandparents) to come on line and support and encourage. Also, to help them with their wieght issues, but they don't care to be a part and my mom in-law said that she will believe that I will lose and keep it off when pigs fly. So, I have decided to blow them off. This is for me. My wieght loss is going to be my victory. My advice, share with us! We will encourage you, keep you on track and pat you on the back! :smile:

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