rude people

sarabear
sarabear Posts: 864
edited September 19 in Motivation and Support
Okay so I think my sister is jealous that I continue to do this, she always has some comment about how almost everyone she knows that has lost weight gains it all back. Last night I went through my closet and called her to ask if she wanted some of my old clothes. She's a little bigger than I was when I started and I know that they'd fit her. She's like no you should keep them, the last jeans that you gave me are too big. I know for a fact they aren't she needed to borrow a pair of trousers once and they were too little. Then she says besides you are more than likely going to gain it back so you'll be needing them anyways! GRRR she ticks me off! Why are people like that? Who do you know that tries to get you to quit?
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Replies

  • Daisy_May
    Daisy_May Posts: 505 Member
    Next time tell her a little fact I heard on the raido last week, people who lose over 100lbs are 5 times more likely to keep it off then anyone else!
  • thumper44
    thumper44 Posts: 1,464 Member
    Pure Jealousy.
  • sarabear
    sarabear Posts: 864
    WOW! Thanks I needed that bullet, since her and I both need to lose that much
  • Booze
    Booze Posts: 14
    My sister acts the same way! I lost alot of weight last year and she was really jealous and would make nasty comments. ( I was 105 and did not look healthy) and now that I've gained some back she lets me know it. She lost some weight and is still bigger than me but she always has little jabs that she likes to throw in. I just let them go in one ear and out the other. I dont care what anyone else thinks and you sholdnt either. There are probably just jealous!
  • jb_sweet_99
    jb_sweet_99 Posts: 856 Member
    Wow, I totally feel your pain. People at work do this to me all the time, while pushing timbits in my face and giving me an odd look when I say no.
    My roommate/best friend also is like this, he says he doesn't care, we all die eventually why torture yourself...yadda yadda yadda...so I say that when I am at his funeral because he's had a heart attack, that I told him to eat better, and that's why I'm skinny and he's dead, lol. Harsh, I know, and it is a joke, but when I said it to him although he laughed, I think it made him think.
    I think that your sister is just jealous that you have the motivation and are succeeding in losing weight, when she isn't. She is probably silently praying for you to fail so that she won't feel so bad about herself. You have done amazing already, don't let her get you down. Just prove her wrong and keep it off, soon enough she may even come to you for advice on how she can do it too!
    Great work! :flowerforyou:
  • jigglybits
    jigglybits Posts: 100 Member
    Rise above...you'll only feel worse when your sister says something else rude or mean about your weight loss journey...you know you will succeed if you have the right support around you, that's why you're on here right??

    I have a neighbour who noticed i had put on wieght and said to me" you're getting fat you should do something about it" I walked away...I know i have put on weight and I am doing something about it...but I didn't tell her that cause she would only say I'd never do it!!!
  • sarabear
    sarabear Posts: 864
    Thanks I'm glad and upset that others have had to deal with people like this.
  • maurierose
    maurierose Posts: 574 Member
    There are lots of other people that would be so greatful for your cute clothes! Give them away, donate them, and don't offer them to her again. It's probably a sore subject for her (given that she has some weight that she most likely wishes wasn't there....) If you want to offer them to her, invite her over and have them hanging over a chair.... casually/subtly drop the hint that you're donating them to charity. If she wants them, she will ask. :tongue:

    Keep on working towards your goals - you can do this! Be sugary sweet, do NOT keep those clothes, and one day she may come to you and say "You look great, I'm not doin so hot, what did you do to get here???"

    And if she doesn't - you'll still be fabulously healthy and have great accomplishments in that department! :flowerforyou:
  • jesp1216
    jesp1216 Posts: 100
    My whole family is like that, im visiting my mom right now and she just made white rice a chocolate cake and fried chicken, of coarse with some mixed veggies i did eat the chicken or cake so i just ate white rice and veggies, but my sister likes to throw the fact that im overweight in my face, even though she is bigger then me. If people are rude to you it means they are just jealous :] just stay strong
  • xsargex
    xsargex Posts: 768
    women are mean. wow.
  • ccleadbyexample
    ccleadbyexample Posts: 178
    I too deal with that ALL the time! When I am coaching people and they first start..I warn them right off the bat that they are going to have people be negative towards their new lifestyle and/or try to derail them. I tell them you need to be comfortable with your new lifestyle and be vocal about it. If they truly love you and are meant to be a part of your life, they'll understand (and you can always tell them you believe they can do it too..reverse psychology!). I get annoyed even to this day and I have been doing it for years..you just gotta keep your head up and be PROUD OF YOURSELF!:bigsmile: :flowerforyou:
    Casey
    PS My family has had no interest in it for years..and slowly they are coming around..yours might too:wink:
  • kbirky73
    kbirky73 Posts: 110
    There are some people out there, like here on the MFP support boards, that you will get your "great jobs" and "keep up the great work" from.

    Others, are just so unhappy with themselves, they cannot be happy for other people. It's very sad.

    I remember, before i lost the weight, i had a friend who had lost like 90lbs. I was always supportive, etc., but inside, it made me sad .. for me!!!

    Because she is your sister ... when she says things like that ... tell her how much easier it is for you to stay on top of your weight with using MFP. Tell her she should go on it and check it out. If after that she still remains negative, I would simply say, "Boy i hope you're not right about me gaining it all back" and unfortuntaly, you'll just have to avoid the topic around her.

    Tell her to join up and then you can both donate your "too big" clothes together.

    My Mom joined MFP because when I would call to brag about how well I was doing, I always added how awesome this website has been, and as long as you log-in, you CAN STAY FOCUSED on your goals.

    CONGRATS to you!!!! Keep up the good work!!
  • bwilton77
    bwilton77 Posts: 93 Member
    I know how you feel. I just got done talking to my mother who informed me I should just consider a gastric bypass. I informed her that that wouldn't solve the long term problem. At least this way I'm learning what I can and can't eat and I'm learning portion control. Why can't poeple just keep their opinions to themselves. Keep up the good work and stick to and prove her wrong. You Can Do It!!!!:flowerforyou:
  • neenaleigh
    neenaleigh Posts: 584 Member
    women are mean. wow.

    WE ARE, especially to other women, we criticize others to make ourselves feel better.....when I first started this website everyone was like yea, yea. my boyfriends family is mostly overweight and they are the ones who started making me think about losing weight because his 300lb aunt had the nerve to say Im fat at 170....i knew i was overweight but who is she to judge....now ive lost almost 10lbs and no one can say Shhhhh**T!
  • hasiangirl
    hasiangirl Posts: 1,613
    women are mean. wow.
    lol women are very very mean...most are catty and just rude b****es....not to mention theyre way to jealous and have trouble being happy for others...ok welll let me correct this first of all A LOT of women but not all lol...and i think the saying stands true "misery loves company" and women tend to be a lot a lot more self conscious about being fat and overweight...my boyfriend does that stupid s**t to me and i used to let it bug me until i poked him in the belly a week or two ago and said i had our 2 kids...whats your excuse :bigsmile: since then he's been trying to lose weight with me and doesnt say anything about my weight or if i slip anymore...so i think it just has to do with the person being unhappy with themselves and then they take it out on everyone else around them
  • barbarella
    barbarella Posts: 609 Member
    I know it hurts! People can be so rude! :noway:
    I work with people who eat crap & sugar like there is no tomorrow!
    (And there will be none if they keep eating like that! :laugh: )

    I have gotten used to the jabs & teasing.......
    and just hit them back with jokes...... and broccoli!!! :laugh:

    Your sister is totally jealous of your success!

    I agree with the others.... let her have the chance to have the clothes, then get rid of them!

    I recently lost 25 lbs. and gave clothes to a co-worker who gained 25 lbs.!
    She has an awesome sassy attitude & inspired me to go buy a flowery summer dress! :flowerforyou:

    YOU GO GIRL!!! Do what feels good for YOU baby!!! :flowerforyou: :love: :heart:
  • pammiles47
    pammiles47 Posts: 36
    I have a sister in law that seems to be motivated by my weight lost. She is the type that can see you doing good then it seems that she has to top you. But with your sister it is not that she is trying to get you to fell it is more about her felling. Misery loves company :angry: and in order for her to feel good about her not doing nothing she has to try to make you feel the way she does. Don't offer her anymore of your clothes. If you want to give them away give to Goodwill or Salvation Army somewhere where you know they will be appreciate it.:heart: Then continue to lose your weight without commenting to her about it. :wink: Let your progress speak for itself. :bigsmile: We have enough Motivation and Support here to help us stay focus. :love: I would love to have your sister because all that her attitude would do for me is make me want to continue to stay focus. We need haters! :mad: God bless the haters!!!!:happy:
  • cherie2304
    cherie2304 Posts: 632 Member
    Ok so I kinda know how you feel. I have lost 41 pounds and yes I do look different. People at work say stuff about it all the time but for whatever reason when I ask my sister if she sees a difference she says I look the same to her. My sister is a lot bigger than I am but seriously how does she not see a difference??? I just don't understand it. My whole family are all obese and I am hoping that my weight loss will trigger something and get them started...but if my sister won't even recognize that I look differently how is anything going to get accomplished.
  • xsargex
    xsargex Posts: 768
    My wife worked in a University office for a few months. It was ALL women (yeah equal opportunity at work there) regardless...there was so much drama they could have had a hit reality show based off that place. Ridiculous.

    But yeah I agree. I think alot PEOPLE just have no discipline, so they gotta drag people down to their level. Cowards.
  • SaraWo24
    SaraWo24 Posts: 192 Member
    No offense that she is your sister, but some people just have no class.
  • neenaleigh
    neenaleigh Posts: 584 Member
    I also wanted to add, its those mean/rude people that keep me motivated....I'll SHOW THEM!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA ( evil laugh) :) AND YOU ALL WILL TOO!
  • annaliza
    annaliza Posts: 809
    I'm the fat sister - my two sisters are so skinny and beautiful.

    It's hard not to be jealous of them - and I am never mean to them because of the way I feel about myself. But...I also know that they work for their bodies by going to the gym 4-5 days a week. Your sister should see you as an inspiration...not a threat.

    I deal with rude people all the time who tell me that I can't do this, or I can't do that or I'll just gain it all back or they see no results....

    Oh well...who cares? I'm in this for me, not them, so I just let it roll off my back.

    It's hard to ignore your sister but I would just take it all with a grain of salt and understand that the way she treats you is a reflection on how she feels about herself.

    Good luck to you!
  • xsargex
    xsargex Posts: 768
    I also wanted to add, its those mean/rude people that keep me motivated....I'll SHOW THEM!!!!!!!!!!! HA HA HA ( evil laugh) :) AND YOU ALL WILL TOO!

    i was gonna say, if someone kept reminding me everyday that my gut sticks out over my belt....that would probably annoy me enough to work harder. Reality check.
  • denitchy
    denitchy Posts: 445
    I have some family members that are the same! My mother has been over weight for as far back as I can remember, and she has always brought me down. I tell her about all the workouts that I am doing and it's actually kind of funny, because she starts telling me that I should be "doing it this way, or doing it that way" but clearly "that way" isn't working for her!! I know that's VERY harsh (not that I would EVER actually say that to her, but I'm just venting a bit...:ohwell: lol) I have even occasionally asked her to go for walks with me, and only once has she said yes. You tend to get tired of asking when you're always being told NO!!

    But on the flip side of all this... I have inspired my sister!! :bigsmile: A few years back, she had lost about 60lbs but has since put it back on. I am currently doing ChaLEAN Extreme and after all the rave I have put into it to her, she wants to use it too!!!

    Anyway... good luck to everyone and stay focused on what YOU want!!!! :heart: :bigsmile:
  • ccleadbyexample
    ccleadbyexample Posts: 178
    And for every bad remark you get..there will be good ones. You just gotta look past bad people and focus on the good ones. My sister and I used to not get along..and now we get along better than ever..and she has been working on losing weight too...she is now down to 126lbs! :flowerforyou:
    Try to just focus on the good stuff:bigsmile:
    Casey
  • Iffer75
    Iffer75 Posts: 2,817 Member
    Okay so I think my sister is jealous that I continue to do this, she always has some comment about how almost everyone she knows that has lost weight gains it all back. Last night I went through my closet and called her to ask if she wanted some of my old clothes. She's a little bigger than I was when I started and I know that they'd fit her. She's like no you should keep them, the last jeans that you gave me are too big. I know for a fact they aren't she needed to borrow a pair of trousers once and they were too little. Then she says besides you are more than likely going to gain it back so you'll be needing them anyways! GRRR she ticks me off! Why are people like that? Who do you know that tries to get you to quit?
    She is probably just jealous of you and your accomplishments. Maybe once she sees how happy you are with your new lifestyle, she might come around.
  • angl
    angl Posts: 188
    Its called leveling.....People say rude things to make themselves feel good. They are trying to bring you down to their level.
    Like the other posts said.....-RAISE ABOVE HERE cause that is already where you are and dont let her bring you down to her level.
    angl:bigsmile:
  • twocats
    twocats Posts: 31
    I don't know who said it but.....

    "Living well is the best revenge."
  • denitchy
    denitchy Posts: 445
    I don't know who said it but.....

    "Living well is the best revenge."

    ABSOLUTELY!! :bigsmile: :happy:
  • sarabear
    sarabear Posts: 864
    Thanks it's sooo true now that I look bad. She has every excuse not to exercise, I have to make dinner, I have the girls, she has twins but also has a double stroller that she could be pushing them in. I go walking with a good friend every night, it's nice to have someone to depend on, she puts that on me too, that's when our arguement started the other day. She doesn't have anyone to exercise with, I told her point blank, when I asked you to come with me, you had an excuse. She didn't say much then, I'm going to from now on ignore her and my mom's comments. My step dad hadn't seen me in a few weeks and was like wow you really lost weight, my mom right away was like yeah but look at her stomach, she needs to work on that. I don't know but I'm never going to let my daughter know how much I hate my body, or point out flaws in her's when mine isn't perfect. Please have good body image around your kids, even if you have to lie to them about loving how big your thighs are!:wink:
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