Hubby rant!
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Johnnyswife
Posts: 1,447 Member
Ok, I DEARLY love my husband! He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. We've been married a year and 5 months this august. He's super supportive on my journey and is trying to drop weight himself.
This is where the problem comes in. He has decided that he's going to skip breakfast every day and just eat something tiny for lunch and a small supper and thats all.
Before we were married, he was paying full rent, plus over $700 in child support and alimony and basicly couldn't afford food. He would pick oranges off trees while he was working, and that would be all he had. He was so skinny but had a serious 6-pack. This is what made him decide that he needs to try and starve himself back to a smaller size!
I can't reason with him for anything! He won't let me make him breakfast, only lunch. For the last two months, he was only eating 2 boiled eggs, than whatever I made for supper.
I got him to eat a sandwhich with Ezekiel bread, and he still won't let me make him breakfast.
Because he's not eating right, he will cave during the work day, and eat something bad. He just texted me to say that he had some fried cheese sticks at Jack in the Box! After supper, he starts rooting around the cabnets for anything sweet to eat, even going after plain sugar packets!!
The man is NOT fat at all! He's got a small pooch, but he's slender, and I don't know how to reach him anymore. I've reasoned with him, pleaded with him, and whatever else I can do. I don't want to hurt his feelings either.
I don't want to go to our family renuion in two weeks with him looking pale, and underweight, or sickly and his family thinking I can't take care of him.
He knows I am right when I tell him he needs to eat better, but he won't listen. I don't know what else to do. I love him and want him to be happy.....I know he has to want to eat right, but I am so sad and frustrated right now. Just had to let it out.
Sorry about that. :flowerforyou:
This is where the problem comes in. He has decided that he's going to skip breakfast every day and just eat something tiny for lunch and a small supper and thats all.
Before we were married, he was paying full rent, plus over $700 in child support and alimony and basicly couldn't afford food. He would pick oranges off trees while he was working, and that would be all he had. He was so skinny but had a serious 6-pack. This is what made him decide that he needs to try and starve himself back to a smaller size!
I can't reason with him for anything! He won't let me make him breakfast, only lunch. For the last two months, he was only eating 2 boiled eggs, than whatever I made for supper.
I got him to eat a sandwhich with Ezekiel bread, and he still won't let me make him breakfast.
Because he's not eating right, he will cave during the work day, and eat something bad. He just texted me to say that he had some fried cheese sticks at Jack in the Box! After supper, he starts rooting around the cabnets for anything sweet to eat, even going after plain sugar packets!!
The man is NOT fat at all! He's got a small pooch, but he's slender, and I don't know how to reach him anymore. I've reasoned with him, pleaded with him, and whatever else I can do. I don't want to hurt his feelings either.
I don't want to go to our family renuion in two weeks with him looking pale, and underweight, or sickly and his family thinking I can't take care of him.
He knows I am right when I tell him he needs to eat better, but he won't listen. I don't know what else to do. I love him and want him to be happy.....I know he has to want to eat right, but I am so sad and frustrated right now. Just had to let it out.
Sorry about that. :flowerforyou:
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Replies
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Honey, you can't change him. You can lead by example, and be encouraging when he asks for help, but he has to decide that he needs to do this. No amount of pleading or nagging will really help him, I'm afraid.
Plus, when he sees that you are getting fitter and healthier, he may decide to follow your example. You've said your piece, it's up to him now. After all, he's a big boy.
I know you're worried about him. But again, leading by example is probably your best bet.
Take if from someone who resisted the information until she was ready to hear it.0 -
My husband must be your husband's twin - separated at birth. Same problem here - only mine does have some weight to lose. He starves himself then binges on totally unhealthy things. After 11 years, I've given up. All we can do is focus on our own good health, provide healthy, nourishing foods and take care of ourselves.
Good luck to you!0 -
Since you are doing this together, suggest you both go in for a check up together too, blood work and the whole deal. Talk to the doctor ahead of time and tell him your concerns and have the doctor stress how important a balanced diet is to your husband. Maybe he will listen to the doctor. Or have a trainer meet you at the gym and talk about being really buff with him but then how important the foods he eats will make the difference. He might need to hear it from someone he considers an expert.
Good luck!0 -
My husband did a total grapefruit diet a few years ago as a bet and he lost lots of weight really fast. So he thinks this is the way to go. I make his breakfast and lunch, but then he still goes to fast food places AFTER eating what I pack for him. The he comes home and eats all evening. He can't understand why he can' t lose weight and wants to do the grapefruit only thing again. I have tried to explain to him how to do this and I cook healthy but he just snacks and snack and snacks. I give up. It't totally up to him. No matter what you say or do, HE is the only one that can do it. It's just like an alcoholic or drug addict. You can't help them until they WANT the help and feel like they have reached rock bottom. All you can do is keep yourself healthy and be there for him when he finally decides to do it the right way!
Good luck.
Memaw0 -
I did that one too! Didn't last more than two weeks though.My husband did a total grapefruit diet a few years ago as a bet and he lost lots of weight really fast. So he thinks this is the way to go. I make his breakfast and lunch, but then he still goes to fast food places AFTER eating what I pack for him. The he comes home and eats all evening. He can't understand why he can' t lose weight and wants to do the grapefruit only thing again. I have tried to explain to him how to do this and I cook healthy but he just snacks and snack and snacks. I give up. It't totally up to him. No matter what you say or do, HE is the only one that can do it. It's just like an alcoholic or drug addict. You can't help them until they WANT the help and feel like they have reached rock bottom. All you can do is keep yourself healthy and be there for him when he finally decides to do it the right way!
Good luck.
Memaw
Yeah I know I gotta let him do what he's gonna do. I just get frustrated though. The idea of getting him a personal trainer is appealing though. Maybe I'll look into that! Thanks.:flowerforyou:0 -
Ok, I DEARLY love my husband! He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. We've been married a year and 5 months this august. He's super supportive on my journey and is trying to drop weight himself.
This is where the problem comes in. He has decided that he's going to skip breakfast every day and just eat something tiny for lunch and a small supper and thats all.
Before we were married, he was paying full rent, plus over $700 in child support and alimony and basicly couldn't afford food. He would pick oranges off trees while he was working, and that would be all he had. He was so skinny but had a serious 6-pack. This is what made him decide that he needs to try and starve himself back to a smaller size!
I can't reason with him for anything! He won't let me make him breakfast, only lunch. For the last two months, he was only eating 2 boiled eggs, than whatever I made for supper.
I got him to eat a sandwhich with Ezekiel bread, and he still won't let me make him breakfast.
Because he's not eating right, he will cave during the work day, and eat something bad. He just texted me to say that he had some fried cheese sticks at Jack in the Box! After supper, he starts rooting around the cabnets for anything sweet to eat, even going after plain sugar packets!!
The man is NOT fat at all! He's got a small pooch, but he's slender, and I don't know how to reach him anymore. I've reasoned with him, pleaded with him, and whatever else I can do. I don't want to hurt his feelings either.
I don't want to go to our family renuion in two weeks with him looking pale, and underweight, or sickly and his family thinking I can't take care of him.
He knows I am right when I tell him he needs to eat better, but he won't listen. I don't know what else to do. I love him and want him to be happy.....I know he has to want to eat right, but I am so sad and frustrated right now. Just had to let it out.
Sorry about that. :flowerforyou:
Those Husbands... :noway: Hehe, if he's got just a small 'pooch' you would think that just doing some exercising a couple of times a week would fix that...
-Ian0 -
Actually a lot of the pooch or belly fat is totally dependent on diet. It doesn't matter how many crunches or ab exercises you do.0
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