My friend gives me her fat clothes....

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Kristen34w
Kristen34w Posts: 19
in Motivation and Support
I am trying really hard to be grateful. But I have to admit it hurts. My good friend has been very successful with her weight loss. She looks amazing and is doing great. But she leaves me all her "fat clothes". Don't get me wrong, they are really nice and also expensive clothes, but I get stuck on the fact that she is now calling them her fat clothes.... So if I am wearing them what does that say about me? And to make matters worse a lot of her "fat clothes" don't fit me. She keeps losing and I haven't so her fat clothes are now my idea of skinny clothes.

Sorry I just had to vent.
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Replies

  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    Either ask her to stop calling them fat clothes, or quit accepting them.
  • Siannah
    Siannah Posts: 456 Member
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    I have a friend who did the exact same to me a few years' back. I was horrified. She said to give anything I wouldn't need to charity. I literally gave the lot to charity.

    And now I'm slim and she's yo-yo'd back to her old size. :glasses:
  • ItsMeRebekah
    ItsMeRebekah Posts: 910 Member
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    have had this happen to me.. Only the "fat" clothes were way way to big for me =( and then it made me wonder what people thought of me, how large their view of me is. it wasn't easy to swallow honestly. finally i told her that her style was different then mine so she would stop.
  • ritmeyer
    ritmeyer Posts: 136 Member
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    Either ask her to stop calling them fat clothes, or quit accepting them.

    THIS!

    I have a friend I give the CLOTHES THAT DON'T FIT ANYMORE. Geez, I can't even imagine being that insensitive. Some people must really just have a disconnect or something. I have another friend who gave me clothes when she lost weight. I didn't take it badly, I was excited to have free clothes...but that's probably because she didn't call them her fat clothes...

    Maybe she just doesn't get it. And if after telling her this next time she still doesn't get it...maybe you need a new friend.
  • DanaeMaria
    DanaeMaria Posts: 7
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    Either ask her to stop calling them fat clothes, or quit accepting them.

    Hear! Hear! I have no issues accepting cast-off clothes regardless of why previous owner doesn't want them... too big, too small, color-clashes-with-complexion, whatever, but to call them "fat clothes" is tactless at best, b*tchy at worst.
  • GeneveSparkles
    GeneveSparkles Posts: 283 Member
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    My friend gives me her old clothes that don't fit and I LOVE it!! She has a shopping problem when it comes to designer jeans and she's given me 4 pairs that are about $150 each, along with a bunch of other stuff. She doesn't however call them her fat clothes, she just says they don't fit anymore cause she's lost weight. She gave me a bunch of clothes in December and they were still a little small for me but they became a motivational source and now they fit! Just talk to your friend, if you're close enough to get clothes from her, you should be close enough to voice your concerns. Don't let it get you down, everyone's body is different and everyone's goal weights are different, hers might just be less than yours. In the meantime reap the benefits of free outfits!!! :)
  • ImSoOTired
    ImSoOTired Posts: 186 Member
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    I can see it from both point of views. Your friend is clearly very proud of her weight loss and has a right to be. On the other hand she should also be thinking of your feelings and be careful what she says. She might not realize that it isn't that easy for some others to lose weight. I know that some of my friends can lose weight quickly and others can not. I'm somewhere in the middle. When I give my larger clothing away I just say that they no longer fit, or are too big. I'm sorry she has hurt your feelings. Try not to take it too personally though.
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
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    I doubt she realizes that she's being so insensitive to you when she calls them "fat clothes" and then drops them in your lap. She's probably just too wrapped up in her own happiness from weight loss that she forgets other people are in different places of their journey.

    Talk to her about it and mention that it hurts your feelings when she refers to them as such, I'm positive she'll apologize immediately and never do it again (and if not, maybe she's not such a good friend after all).
  • erinnhamil2n
    erinnhamil2n Posts: 28 Member
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    It sounds to me that your friend is having success in her weight loss goals. Maybe you should ask her if you two can partner up and learn from her success. Then you both can donate you "fat" clothes to a charity...
  • nora110
    nora110 Posts: 24
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    I had a STRANGER do this to me. She is in a class that I am taking, but I dont' KNOW her at all. She came in one day and gave me some clothes that she thought were very "nice" (however about 10 years old). She said she used to wear them to work when she was fat, and she thought they would fit me. I said thanks, put them in my trunk, and took them to charity the next day.

    I agree- tell your friend the "fat clothes" moniker is insensitive.
  • supergirl6
    supergirl6 Posts: 224 Member
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    My BFF and I started losing weight together in November. She started about 100 pounds smaller than I am so as I lose weight she's going to give me her "fat clothes" as she loses weight. I started out at 330, I'm down 31lbs and she's down 25 and eventually I'll be at 230 and her clothes will help me during the transition. She has to buy clothes as she shrinks and she doesn't wear them for very long until they don't fit anymore. I love that this will help my budget a lot when I get to that place. I can't believe how many clothes I can't wear anymore since I've lost 31 pounds. I am not ashamed of getting her cast off fat clothes. I'm proud of her hard work and I'm grateful for her generosity. I won't always have to wear her fat clothes and then someone else can take advantage of them.

    My advice is to be proud of her, be proud of yourself, and treat the fat clothes for what they really are - a stepping stone.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    I gave away a whole lot of my old clothes to my cousin. She is approx. the size I started at. I said I was giving her "hand-me-downs", I would certainly never say "fat clothes". What a rude thing to tell someone.
  • ojell
    ojell Posts: 749 Member
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    I doubt she realizes that she's being so insensitive to you when she calls them "fat clothes" and then drops them in your lap. She's probably just too wrapped up in her own happiness from weight loss that she forgets other people are in different places of their journey.

    Talk to her about it and mention that it hurts your feelings when she refers to them as such, I'm positive she'll apologize immediately and never do it again (and if not, maybe she's not such a good friend after all).

    AGREED!
  • bushidowoman
    bushidowoman Posts: 1,599 Member
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    I am sorry this makes you feel bad!
    I have a friend who is also exercising and losing weight, and she's doing great and looking great! We also both have large families and try to be frugal. So I hate sending the clothes that no longer fiit to charity, knowing that they are her style and size and she could probably use them. Some of them, like my workout clothes, I bought new last year, for my birthday and because I had decided to pamper myself a little to motivate me to work out. It's easier to let go of them, knowing that they are going to someone special.
    So I explain these things to my friend, saying "these no longer fit me" instead of "these are too big." And I hope that it doesn't make her feel bad to get them.
  • BigBoneSista
    BigBoneSista Posts: 2,389 Member
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    I can see it from both point of views. Your friend is clearly very proud of her weight loss and has a right to be. On the other hand she should also be thinking of your feelings and be careful what she says. She might not realize that it isn't that easy for some others to lose weight. I know that some of my friends can lose weight quickly and others can not. I'm somewhere in the middle. When I give my larger clothing away I just say that they no longer fit, or are too big. I'm sorry she has hurt your feelings. Try not to take it too personally though.

    Exactly!

    I would use it for motivation. Her fat clothes will soon be your fat clothes. Look at it like this as you lose you don't have to buy anything as long as she is losing as well. When I started dropping weight I had to buy more stuff which can be costly. Try to find a positive in the situation. We have deal with too many negatives as it is. But like others have said just talk with her and don't get too emotional about it.

    good luck :)
  • mkmacf
    mkmacf Posts: 101
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    I don't mind right now because I am making changes myself. Now that I am down a size, but not able to go buy new clothes, I appreciate any and all things people send my way. It's not great that she calls them "fat clothes", but I would love to be able to send my nice clothes that no longer fit on to someone else that might need them.
  • imakimm
    imakimm Posts: 839
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    My co worker and I just had a talk like this at work. We were both complaining that our clothes were too big and how we didn't have money to get new ones all the time. She is smaller then me and asked me if I would be offened if she brought in clothes for me. I said I would love it because it would save me money! She said she felt the same way. She was asking because another co worker was complaining about how someone else brought in clothes that after they lost weight and gave them to her and the girl felt like it was a slap in the face.

    I can see it from both sides, especially if the friend is calling them her fat clothes! That is just insensitive! I also think it depends on how close a friendship is because I would feel funny if just a random co worker handed me a bag of clothes and said here this don't fit me anymore but they would fit you. But having a friend give them to me for some reason is different.
  • Myslissa
    Myslissa Posts: 760 Member
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    I give mine to my best friend....I would never call them fat clothes. we are both progressing at about the same rate but she started at a higher weight and it saves her money. If she is your true friend, you should be able to ask her to stop calling them fat clothes and her understand.
  • ampa916
    ampa916 Posts: 189 Member
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    I would ask her to stop giving them to you if you are hurt by it. I had a friend who had gastric bypass and was losing a good amount of weight at once and gave me some of her fat clothes, I could fit them, so I wear them. But when I shrink out of them they are going to charity or thrown out.
  • wnttolose70
    wnttolose70 Posts: 3
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    to me she isnt such a good friend knowing u have a weight loss goal yourself so calling them fat clothes isnt very supportive if i were u find someone who has the same goals as u and lose together ..im doing that plus who cares what people think its what and how u percieve yourself :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

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