I need to rant.

WalkingGirl1985 · March 2012

If you don't like people who complains, whines..then this is not the post for you. I need to rant/vent..and I hope it helps me to let it out. So be advised!

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Okay, first of all..I turn to food a lot to let off some of the steam. I know thats a big nono. I do have a problem with binge eating. So far, almost 2 weeks now been fighting off those pesky urges, although it was not easy..still isn't.

Here's a few of the things going thats just stressing me out.

1) Fiances- I live on a monthly check right now thats not much with my fiancee whos unemployed and school. If he graduates at the end of this year, I hope for a miracle soon to follow. I was able to file for taxes through my SSI which I have found out was possible, and it was..I guess the IRS thinks differently and is examining the case a little more closely. It has been 5 weeks since we e-filed. I was able to claim my fiancee and get more since hes going to school. It's tight. We need the money. IRS contacts me by mail at the beginning of this month saying the need 45 more days. :explode:
2) Life- Housework just builds and builds. I know its not all my fault, but living with a messy guy does not help..:laugh: That can be pretty stressful. Sometimes the work load can be overwhelming. Since we are so tight financially, we have local food drives all over the place here..problem? My fiancee wants to go as much as we can to overload of food..make sure we are stocked up good. I think going to 1 a week is enough..not 2 or 3. It also takes up more of my time to workout, relax..whatever.
3) Last but not least..calories..cravings..After 8 weeks of stress and slight depression, I gained 15lbs back. Now, I'm seeing a therapist and attempting to get back on track. I put myself down to 2lbs week, 1230 calories a day. Normally, I don't feel hungry a awful lot..its more of the emotional hunger the sets in..which I noticed. So being on 1230 calories for an emotional eater, also seems overwhelming.

Additional things that seems to go through my head that makes me feel sad at times..is I miss my family. I live in Michigan while they all reside in Massachusetts. I don't have the expenses to get out there as often as I want too. They understand.

Well..I guess thats all I can think of, and that concludes this post. Maybe i should copy/paste this and show this to my therapist, as she reccomends.

WalkingGirl1985 · March 2012

Bump

Alex_is_Hawks · March 2012

I've been there! it's tough and it is depressing.

You may want to show this to your therapist, she may see options that you don't see.

I live with my current partner and his two stepsons and my daughter. The money is never, ever completely there. I bring home the lions share and it goes out of my pocket pretty darn quick.

I'm getting tired of that. I'm not killing myself at my career so that he and his boys can spend my money, but that's how it's been lately.

And the messes, oh my GOD, I have never seen two messier children than his sons. Believe me, my daughter is not perfect, but we had the pleasure of the boys going away on a week long "boys only" trip and I think that was the only time it was clean in my house. Not to mention it took my daughter and I 20 minutes to clean the whole house while they were gone.

I have two stepsons that will take something out of the cupboard, unwrap it and then throw the wrapper on the FLOOR, when the garbage is less than two feet away, one of those boys, has rotting food in his room on a constant basis....

it's disgusting...and everytime i try to change things I get the "it's messy at their mom's house so they aren't very good at clean up, you have to just be understanding" talk from my partner.

Why don't we try, clean up in our house or else. I mean it's worked for me and my daughter.

anyways, i know your pain. It's never easy but it will all come together somehow.

L

Debensch · March 2012

I feel your frustration. I too am an emotional eater and eat when I am stressed, or alone, or...the list goes on. For me, I try to find something to do to occupy my time. I love to read, so I go somewhere where there is no food and take my water or ice tea and enjoy a good book. I work a lot too, which is another cause of my stress ( I work roughly 65 hours/week). I have an office set up at home for when I take work home with me (which is nightly) and have recently made a rule of no food allowed in the office. I found setting boundaries of where and when I can eat helps. Finally, I treat myself with a small serving of something I like each day. I love butterscotch hard candies so I usually have one of those.

You should be proud of the progress you have made and small detours or bumps in the road are normal. Best of luck on you journey. Stay positive and it is okay to need to rant/whine once in awhile!

jessdb19 · March 2012

I understand this completely!

I

my fiancee, but he was raised in a pig sty! I've heard the horror stories...and he's REALLY good at trying. We have sort of an unwritten agreement, where I cook and he cleans...(however, my big dinners are mostly on me...) but lately I've been doing everything for our upcoming trip/wedding (we're eloping) on top of cleaning, trying to fit in a work out schedule, trying to get to appointments/make phone calls/etc..and the house just seems to be getting messier and messier! On top of which he hurt his back, so he's still trying but it's limited...

I found myself thinking grumpy thoughts late last night as I was trying to get laundry done for today and the house at least tidied up....

I just gotta remind myself that bumps occur and will smooth themselves out, that picking a fight is a choice and that there are times when the shoe is going to be on the other foot...

jessdb19 · March 2012

Oh and jello pudding helps too.

confuzzledwife · March 2012

I'm sorry you are going through those struggles, I know how difficult it can be, believe me. I have 5 children, my youngest son has severe autism. He is 8 years old but functions at the level of a 1 year old. He is non-verbal, can't do a lot for himself, we've been working with him to self feed with utensils for going on 5 years, and it's still a struggle for him due to motor issues. That being said, my house is a horrible mess a lot when he's not in school because he drops food all the time, throws toys around, still wears a pull up, sometimes I wake up to find poop smeared all over his bedroom (gross I know but true).

Most of my day (when I'm not working of course), consists of doing the never-ending laundry, removing stains from his clothing and bedding, scrubbing food off of the walls, vacuuming the couches and rugs, washing the floor, dishes, picking up toys, I can't count the number of times in a week I'm replacing blinds or window shades in his room because he breaks them, I can't tell you how often I'm going around the house filling in dings in the wall (from where toys were thrown), repainting those walls, fit in doctor and dentist appointments for myself and the other kids, haircuts, and hoping to spend decent time with my older children - it truly seems never ending. To top it off my son has epilepsy and he's on so many supplements and medications that take a good chunk of my time mixing and crushing (most are refrigerated or liquid so I can't get them ready ahead of time or put them in a pill box for the week), not to mention trying to get him to take them when he's fighting me over it or slapping the spoon away which ends in a splattered mess everywhere.. I work part-time days, my husband works full time afternoon/nights so we rarely spend anytime together and it's creating tension and stress on both of us. Forget about financial issues, we are on the verge of foreclosure every month barely being able to make the bills, I sell things on ebay, amazon or craigslist just for food money or co-pays on prescriptions for my son, and it seems like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. God forbid any of the rest of us get sick I honestly don't know how we would afford medication.

So believe me I know. I think the only thing that keeps me sane is trying to figure out what is going right in my life. I know, cliche.. but I HAVE to force myself to think of the family right now who are struggling with a child dying of cancer, or I have to think of the family who actually did lose their home due to job loss, etc., etc., I think if it weren't for me forcing myself to realize the good things I do have in my life, my health, my kids' health, a roof over my head, some food to eat, I think I'd go into a horrible downward spiral and fall into a depression again like I once was, and that was no fun for anyone. Good luck to you, I pray things make a turnaround in your life.

I need to rant.

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