Stressed out...

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KristieLynn007
KristieLynn007 Posts: 46
in Motivation and Support
I just wanted to vent..... I have been really stressed out about some stuff going on in my life. One thing is my husband coaches spring softball for 4th 5th and 6th grades. It is rediculous how political things are. This is his 3rd(and hopefully final year) of coaching. I love watching our girls play but it is always seems that another coach or a parent or someone on the board is underhanded or try to pull the wool over someones eyes. I just feel for the past few years when he coaches spring softball(he also coaches fall softball but that is more instructional than competitive) that it is just so stressful and people get nasty and i can only take so much of that b/f I open my mouth.


Once things got so bad b/c my husband was asked to ump a game(not in which his team was playing) but one of the coaches was a jerk(putting it mildly) and he was saying horrible things about my husband when he was umping behind the plate. I actually approached him and he was well over 6 ft and over 300 lbs, but i could not stand him saying horrible things about my husbands umping abilities!!! Here my husband was umping a game giving up his free time(in addition to his regular coaching) and the guys was being obnoxious and disresctful.
Well the big man got nasty w/ me so i went behind the plate and told my husband that this guy was being obxoxious saying bad things about him....just then....that nasty coach walked over to my husband and told him that i needed to be removed from the field b/c i was causing a ruckus!! The nasty coach had also said a bunch of awful things to me but this post would be even longer if i listed everything.

Just wondering if anyone has experienced this and if they have advice for me??? Thank you.

Replies

  • lmalaschak
    lmalaschak Posts: 346 Member
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    Yup. And you won't like it. :( My husband coached high school sports for over 15 years and the number one best thing I ever did for him was to keep my mouth shut. About everything. It is unfair, it's no fun, and there are people who are so rabid about their children's sports that they'll say or do anything, but that's the best thing you can do. Here is why, at least this is why it was a good thing for us. If I had stepped in, number one my husband would have been distracted by what else was going on and not focused on the job at hand. More importantly, I would have embarrassed him. Oh look, there's the guy who has to be defended by his wife when he goes out on the field. Oh look, there's the guy whose wife will yell at you for saying the wrong thing. Even though those things are not true, that's how it would have felt and appeared if I'd gotten involved. If your kid is not actually involved in the game sometimes it's better if you leave, or at least go where you can't hear them. You are in the right to want to defend him, and your husband is a saint for giving his time to help with kids' sports, and that other guy was being a jerk. But, your husband knows what he's doing, and to get involved -- especially during a game when spectators are around -- will probably just embarrass him.

    Not fun, I know. I totally feel your pain. But true! There will always be jerks out there...don't jump in the slop with the pigs. Keep your own feet clean and go on your merry way! Good luck with softball!!
  • csarv
    csarv Posts: 5
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    my husband has been a coach for soccer going on 5 years now. the parents say some really nasty things. the best thing is to sit far away from people and just watch the game. let him handle whatever comes up. just let them hash things out as they come up. i seriously can't sit by the parents anymore, it ruins my mood and i wouldn't be able to keep my mouth shut after a certain point either. ignorance is bliss when it comes to this kind of unnecessary crap! (my ipod has also helped to drown out the word vomit of other people)
  • lmalaschak
    lmalaschak Posts: 346 Member
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    The hardest part for me is that I tend to have an "activist" type of personality and I want to right wrongs, and defeat injustice. :D My husband, however, is much more able to let things roll off his back and not bother him nearly as much. He doesn't always feel the need to defend himself and so my tendency is to fill the void. That's where self-control became important. So it is a learning process. Fortunately we had fairly supportive people to work with almost all the time, and I didn't get involved enough to hear about much of what might have bothered me. It is harder when you have children and they are in the sport, because then you are involved automatically.

    For the record, his approach almost always turns out to be the right thing to do. He's a smart guy!
  • KristieLynn007
    KristieLynn007 Posts: 46
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    Thank you so much for your replies... I too am an "activist" and like to speak up for what is right and "just". I am going to listen to the advice of staying far away from everyone then I won't be engaging or getting caught up in the conversation of this....that and the other thing. That makes sense. Can't get into too much trouble sitting far away.

    The hard thing is....every single email my husband gets from someone...he shows to me!!! So.....I get riled up and then can't do anything about it. maybe I should tell him that it is not good for me to read those emails and get riled up and then feel there is not hing i can do about it etc.

    Thank you again for your replies.

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