In need of a smile xx

A guy with dyslexia walks into a bra.


*comedy drums*

If all else fails...I found a great article on reasons to eat dark chocolate!!! This always puts a smile on my face...

http://www.webmd.com/diet/news/20030827/dark-chocolate-is-healthy-chocolate

eat a piece of dark chocolate after your work out!!!! good endorphines all around!!!!

:drinker:

a tutor who tooted a flute
tried to tutor to tooters to toot
said the two to the tutor, 'is harder to toot or to tutor two tooters to toot?'

anonymous

watch The Golden Girls they always make me laugh (I love Dorothy)

I hope this makes you laugh...I found it online when I was looking into a liver cleanse and stumbled across this poor fellows experience. What a laugh! I hope it you enjoy it. :laugh:

Last week I took a full dose of the Total Body Rapid Cleanse. I had been partying hard for about a month and decided I needed to clean up my act. (You know how it goes some months, what with hanging with the guys and staying up all night drinking and then limping into work the next day--- it can leave a guy feeling sorta sideways.) Anyway, what ultimately happened was that I spent three hours cleaning up my bathroom and trying to calm down my dog.

Let me explain---I have never done one of these cleanses before and I thought I would just shoot an extra poop or two and be done with it. I followed the directions and took the stuff just as I was supposed to. Then about 9:00 at night just before Survivor was starting on TV, I started feeling like I had to go 2, so I figure, heck, I can just drop a klunker during the commercials and be back before Jessica gets all up in Rocky's face and one of them gets voted off the island.

So I'm setting there on the can watching the clock and tapping my foot, thinking, darn it, I'm gonna miss the part where they catch you up on what happened last week when my stomach starts roiling and gurgling and I thought I was going to drop an oversized log---but as I sat there, preparing to pinch a humongous loaf, I heard the sound of rolling thunder coming from my rectum and I swear, I crapped out something that looked like my dachshund Tobie. Thank my lucky stars, he was outside the bathroom door barking furiously and didn't get chance to see it or who knows what might have happened. I sat there for a few minutes riding out the storm and swaying like a drunken sailor, until everything seemed to calm down.

Thinking there couldn't possibly be anything else left in my bowels, I stood up to flush when, much to my surprise, I squirted out another gigantic turd. I mean it was a monster, (with the consistency of Cream of Wheat) and exploded from my buttocks with such a force that it propelled me forward and I hit my head on the edge of the sink and went down like a sack of nickels. I regained consciousness lying on the tile surrounded by a pool of stool about size of the Quabbin Reservoir. Lurching to my feet I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. It looked like I had just gone ten rounds in a mud wrestling match. You can imagine the smell!

The damage control took me about three hours with a mop and a can of Lysol to put things right. Needless to say, I missed Survivor--- but soaking in a nice hot tub after the cleanup, I reflected on my experience and came to the conclusion that despite all the tribulations, it was the best damn dumper I had ever taken and I feel about ten pounds lighter. I would HIGHLY recommend this product and next time I intend to bring along a six pack make a Saturday night of it. Five Stars!!!