Annoyed..

Mireille · April 2008

The other day I went to Costco and as I was leaving I saw a family having their lunch. I'm assuming it was a grand-mother, daughter and maybe a 7 or 8 month old little girl. I don't normally judge people but these 2 adult women were very obese. My issue is that they were feeding this beautiful little baby girl french fries and laughing at how many she was eating!
I was upset because this little girl odds of being overweight or even obese are high because of the choices her family are making for her. Yes, this could have been a one time occurrence but all I could imagine was her being 7 and eating the same meals as her family at home and being overweight.
I can't stop thinking about her cuz I don't want her to suffer as an overweight child. I was always about 10-15lbs more than my peers growing up and I always felt really uncomfortable and fat (and that's not even that much extra weight compared to others).
My kids are always offered healthy meals and thankfully are not picky when it come to fruits and veggies. And yes, they do get chicken nuggets from McDonald's or other treats on occasion but not daily.
Am I wrong to have judge them? I can't stop thinking about it.

Mireille · April 2008

The other day I went to Costco and as I was leaving I saw a family having their lunch. I'm assuming it was a grand-mother, daughter and maybe a 7 or 8 month old little girl. I don't normally judge people but these 2 adult women were very obese. My issue is that they were feeding this beautiful little baby girl french fries and laughing at how many she was eating!
I was upset because this little girl odds of being overweight or even obese are high because of the choices her family are making for her. Yes, this could have been a one time occurrence but all I could imagine was her being 7 and eating the same meals as her family at home and being overweight.
I can't stop thinking about her cuz I don't want her to suffer as an overweight child. I was always about 10-15lbs more than my peers growing up and I always felt really uncomfortable and fat (and that's not even that much extra weight compared to others).
My kids are always offered healthy meals and thankfully are not picky when it come to fruits and veggies. And yes, they do get chicken nuggets from McDonald's or other treats on occasion but not daily.
Am I wrong to have judge them? I can't stop thinking about it.

buckeyebabe · April 2008

I think we all judge people and situations even though we shouldn't, unfortunately I think it's part of being human. However, I am sure that someone is out there thinking that I should never yell at my children or swat my child on the butt for disobeying. We all make choices that do impact our children and some aren't always the best choices. But I don't think you should spend your time and energy on worrying about this that much. Perhaps it was a first time, perhaps it wasn't but it's not our child to determine what's best. I think it's sweet of you to care but I would say to spend time worrying about what you can control and less about what you can't. It will only frustrate you if you continue to do the opposite.:flowerforyou:

poubre · April 2008

I'm a firm believe in that there is a difference between judging and empathy. Most people use judging as such a negative word. I believe if you judge someone that there has to be action. Judging her would have been walking over to the family, slapping them, and mouthing off something rude. You didn't do that. In fact, you did the opposite. You had empathy for that family and that little girl which is a wonderful thing. It's what makes the human race so unique. We care about each other and want the best for each other (obviously not everyone). It's what keeps this forum active - people wanting to help!

It is a sad story what you've witnessed. Chances are that the little girl will grow up to be overweight and never believe that she can lose the weight. That's why it's our job as successful weight-losers to share our knowledge with the world and to show that it can be done. You might not be able to help that little girl, but maybe someone you touch, might touch someone else, to eventually effect that little girl.

Do not feel guilty. You have done nothing wrong. That's just my opinion.

Philip

abbychelle07 · April 2008

I know what you mean. It often worries me what people do with their children, but there is nothing you can really do or say to change their minds. You are sweet for thinking about that little baby. I hope it was an occasional french-fry lunch.

I used to eat terribly, but once I had my baby we started buying organic produce and making our own meals and bread! Sometimes a baby makes you really think about what you are eating... I'm sure these people love that baby very much, and maybe they will figure it out along the way.

Me_Im_2b · April 2008

No! You're not wrong! I get so mad when I see things like that! It's like those talk shows that bring on these 300 lb 5 year olds! :explode: ( I realize this may not be the case with this little girl, but I need to vent!) All their mothers feed them is junk and then justify it by saying that it's all the kids will eat! That is a load of crap! kids will eat whatever you teach them to eat! If the mothers weren't lazy and would actually teach the kids and show a little discipline in not giving in to every little whine and whimper for McDonalds or something equally unhealthy, our society as adults would not have the problems they have with obesity! The eating habits that we form as children I believe are directly related to the eating habits we have as adults. Now, this is not to say that all mothers are lazy. I think there is a lot to be said of a mother who takes her time to cook a well thought out, healthy meal; she's not just feeding her children's stomachs, she's feeding their minds, and she's helping to secure their health even after they leave home.

I know in this case it may have been just a one time thing, all I'm saying is that it could lead to something that will be a huge obsticle in that little girls future. And there are people out there who don't worry about what they're feeding their children and it does have lasting effects.

(Sorry, Stepping off my soap box now!):blushing:

Mireille · April 2008

Thank you for all your comments! I feel much better knowing I'm not the only one who feels this way.

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

RKJR925 · April 2008

No! You're not wrong! I get so mad when I see things like that! It's like those talk shows that bring on these 300 lb 5 year olds! :explode: ( I realize this may not be the case with this little girl, but I need to vent!) All their mothers feed them is junk and then justify it by saying that it's all the kids will eat! That is a load of crap! kids will eat whatever you teach them to eat! If the mothers weren't lazy and would actually teach the kids and show a little discipline in not giving in to every little whine and whimper for McDonalds or something equally unhealthy, our society as adults would not have the problems they have with obesity! The eating habits that we form as children I believe are directly related to the eating habits we have as adults. Now, this is not to say that all mothers are lazy. I think there is a lot to be said of a mother who takes her time to cook a well thought out, healthy meal; she's not just feeding her children's stomachs, she's feeding their minds, and she's helping to secure their health even after they leave home.

I know in this case it may have been just a one time thing, all I'm saying is that it could lead to something that will be a huge obsticle in that little girls future. And there are people out there who don't worry about what they're feeding their children and it does have lasting effects.

(Sorry, Stepping off my soap box now!):blushing:

Well said when I was a kid if you did not like was served you did not eat.

Like the old joke with the farmers and what their dogs ate. The first farmer fed his collard greens. The second said "how did you get him to eat that?" The first farmer replied "he din't eat em for the first 2 weeks"

TamTastic · April 2008

It is hard to see things like that because you KNOW that child is going to suffer because of it. I am trying my hardest to set a good example for my son so he will eat healthy foods. I am cramming fruit and veggies and whole grains into him now before he figures out they are healthy! LOL! And also, so it will be the only thing he knows and won't even think twice about.

I was at a mall playspace and saw this obese toddler....that is the only way to describe him. He looked to be MAYBE 3 and was probably 4 times the weight he should be. And I heard his mother say, "Come on....let's go get a soft pretzel!"......and my friend says to me "That's child abuse!!"........and when you think about it, she is so right! I mean, your son is already a health risk and you are feeding him MORE crap? Not that soft pretzels are the worst thing ever, but we all know the mall chains are bad.

It's just so sad!!!

peej76 · April 2008

My son started out at a babysitters when he was 6 months old. As he got older and was able to eat table foods, my sitter thought it was cute or funny to feed him cookies, chocolate pudding, chips, let him drink pop, and so on. My husband and I are both overweight so naturally we were concerned. We asked her to stop, and she of course said she would, but we found out later (by this time he was already almost 2 yrs) that she started giving him more just to spite us! Needless to say she didn't last too much longer than that. He's now 5, and while he has some good eating habits, he had developped quite a sweet tooth, that my husband and I are still trying to curb. So what I'm trying to say is I can understand how you felt, because I worry all the time about my kids having to worry about their weight as they grow! I still allow him treats from time to time but there is a such thing as going overboard which is how I got to be where I am. Now that I'm eating healthier I can only hope my kids follow my example!

amytx27 · April 2008

I agree with you 100%. I was only 17 when I had my son but his health was my top priority.
He was not allowed 'sweets' of any kind until AFTER he was 1 year old. He wasn't started out on fruits, he was started out on veggies. He used to get so excited when I fed him peas!
Later, sweets to him consisted of peanut butter, an apple, etc.
He got to the point where he would ask for an apple instead of a candy bar. At halloween, we would allow him to pick 3 pieces of candy to eat from his huge bucket of candy. The rest were put away and he could have ONE on special occassions. By the time my son was 5, you couldn't PAY him to eat a happy meal. He is almost 17 now and basically has no body fat. He will order Salmon, Tilapia, Mahi-Mahi, grilled Chicken, etc.. over a hamburger and fries any day. When he was 10, he was eating squid, sushi, etc. Every day when I get home, I can tell he has eaten peanut butter for a snack. I have to keep several jars in the house to keep him satisfied.
Its all about what you teach them to eat. Given the choice, I think alot of us would choose junk food over healthy food. It tastes better sometimes. But if we are taught, early on, that the healthy food tastes better... then thats what we will crave.
My situation is like alot, and I didn't pass it on to my son. My grandparents cooked with lard, whole milk, (fed the kids whole milk), crisco shortening, lots of sugar and grease... they were overweight... in return, my parents cooked the SAME WAY.. fed us the same food.. my parents are overweight.
I started having weight issues after my metabolism changed and when I changed from whole milk to fat free skim milk, my parents had a fit and said it didn't taste the same. Yeah, its CREAM when you drink whole milk. My parents are becoming more concious about what they eat now.. but if they had been that way when we were kids, we probably wouldn't have the weight issues that we have now.

astridfeline · April 2008

No! You're not wrong! I get so mad when I see things like that! It's like those talk shows that bring on these 300 lb 5 year olds! :explode: ( I realize this may not be the case with this little girl, but I need to vent!) All their mothers feed them is junk and then justify it by saying that it's all the kids will eat! That is a load of crap! kids will eat whatever you teach them to eat! If the mothers weren't lazy and would actually teach the kids and show a little discipline in not giving in to every little whine and whimper for McDonalds or something equally unhealthy, our society as adults would not have the problems they have with obesity! The eating habits that we form as children I believe are directly related to the eating habits we have as adults. Now, this is not to say that all mothers are lazy. I think there is a lot to be said of a mother who takes her time to cook a well thought out, healthy meal; she's not just feeding her children's stomachs, she's feeding their minds, and she's helping to secure their health even after they leave home.

I know in this case it may have been just a one time thing, all I'm saying is that it could lead to something that will be a huge obsticle in that little girls future. And there are people out there who don't worry about what they're feeding their children and it does have lasting effects.

(Sorry, Stepping off my soap box now!):blushing:

It's hard to know the circumstances of that family, but given that they are shopping at CostCo the following comment may not apply to them. In the US, in many low socio-economic neighborhoods, people simply have no access to grocery stores, farmer's markets, or even safe parks. Instead, fast food and check-cashing joints occupy every corner. If one is surrounded by such an environment, what else are they going to learn to eat? Junk food is pretty darn cheap too, and it doesn't have to be cooked. I get irritated too when I see obese parents feeding their kids that way, but as a previoius poster mentioned, it's all about educating the community, and providing ACCESS to healthier options so communities can learn how to apply proper nutrition. Community coalitions do have the power to approach local businesses, grocery stores, and ask them to adjust their product availability to healthier options.

Me_Im_2b · April 2008

I completely agree with you about educating the community. It's sad that ignorance has changed into obesity, in some cases, when ignorance is so much easier to fix than obesity!

abbychelle07 · April 2008

I agree with you 100%. I was only 17 when I had my son but his health was my top priority.
He was not allowed 'sweets' of any kind until AFTER he was 1 year old. He wasn't started out on fruits, he was started out on veggies. He used to get so excited when I fed him peas!

I love that you said that! My daughter just turned a year. I am trying to feed her as well as possible. She loves fruit, whole wheat bread and olive oil, whole wheat pastas, vegetables, watered-down juice, milk, etc. However, my entire family is like a conspiracy against me. My grandparents (daughter's great-grandparents) keep asking me if she can have ice cream, choc pudding, a french fry, etc. HELLLOOO, she doesn't even know what that is yet! Should I be giving her the really unhealthy stuff when she isn't even asking for it? Ahhh, sorry I just had to vent.

They mean well, and they just want visits to their house to include treats. I am trying to teach them that healthy crackers and a strawberry are treats to her. Also, just playing with her is much more fun.

Its not that she will never have any of that stuff. I'm just trying to develop a taste for healthy stuff first, while I am the complete boss of her and what she eats.

Annoyed..

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