Do people of a certain weight/look go for people of a certai

Matt_Wild
Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
edited November 12 in Chit-Chat
Recently, a few posts I've seen suggest that people of a certain weight and look go for (when generalized of course) for a certain weight and look?

Do we base out opinions of what we find attractive not just on what the other person looks like but our own expectation of what we look like to others and so base or opinion on the chance of hooking up with them given the chance?

Of course there will be dozens of examples that show this is not always the case - I'm not saying that - but when generalized, is that a fair assumption?

Replies

  • Elizabeth_C34
    Elizabeth_C34 Posts: 6,376 Member
    I have never been attracted to small men (thin, short, etc.) and always gravitated towards larger guy who were more muscular though I only rarely dated this type of man.

    I never really seem to attract those time of men, so I ended up dating guys that I wasn't as attracted to but who were good guys to date and still attractive just not my ideal. I think part of it is that most of the men I found attractive were attractive to other women who were, in my eyes, better looking than me so I kinda shied away and settled for guys I thought were more average like me.

    Of course, I ended up marrying a strong ex-army boy so it worked out okay. I still think we look weird together though as although he's pudgier than when we married, I still feel like I look disproportionally fat compared to him.

    I'm not sure if this really answers your questions, but just thought it added to the discussion in general.
  • snookumss
    snookumss Posts: 1,451 Member
    I would assume thats fair. Its fact that many more heavyset women get picked up before the majority of HOT chicks when in club/alcohol settings because the guys lack the self-confidence to think they could score a hottie. Therefore, "lowering standards" and looking for the *bigger* ones....

    Of course, as you said. NOT 100% accurate for all people, in all situations. Another generalization.

    IMO... I'm with a "bigger" man, have been for three years, the man I was with before was 250 minimum and NOT healthy at all. I still think guys that are of a less fat type are hot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he he!
  • mickipedia
    mickipedia Posts: 889 Member
    Its virtually impossible to find a guy shorter than me (I'm 5ft 3) so most are taller which I like and my boyfriend is a little on the chubby side but he has amazing guns :happy:

    I'd say I'd prefer a bigger guy for 2 reasons, firstly because it's more 'manly' I think to be quite built and secondly because the bigger they are (whether its chubbiness or muscle) the smaller I look :laugh:
  • pauljsolie
    pauljsolie Posts: 1,024 Member
    I would assume thats fair. Its fact that many more heavyset women get picked up before the majority of HOT chicks when in club/alcohol settings because the guys lack the self-confidence to think they could score a hottie. Therefore, "lowering standards" and looking for the *bigger* ones....

    That is kind of demeaning larger women. I like "larger" women and don't think I'm not "scoring" if I don't go home with an anorexic *****!! Just sayin'
  • LiviLou2011
    LiviLou2011 Posts: 437 Member
    I dont like guys with stubby fingers..if they have nice hands then it might be ok.
    I like man hands..and a tall guy..yeahh other then the hands nothing else matters to me.
  • alxdeanda
    alxdeanda Posts: 72
    Well, my last 2 ex boyfriends were really skinny. Not so skinny that they looked sick, they were both healthy and toned, but thin.
    They weren't necessarily smaller than me, but because they weren't "bigger" than me, I was always feeling kind of down on myself for not being smaller than them. For me, it feels better (security reasons probably) to be smaller than the man I am with.
    I'm currently dating quite a muscular man, and I love it!
    I now am obsessed with big, strong shoulders, muscular arms and legs, and a toned stomach.
    Spoiled, I supposed. But his look has also helped me want to tone up again, and has motivated me to eat healthier.
    With my last boyfriends who had very fast metabolisms, I ate whatever they ate..obviously, that didn't go so well for me.
    Now, current boy and I are awesome workout buddies who keep motivating eachother. :]
    I want to look good for him, and he wants to look good for me. It's a win-win.
    So I would say that generally speaking, people are attracted to those who look like them.
    Vainly speaking, you don't want to date someone uglier than you, but you don't want to date someone who is way more attractive than you. it's gotta be equal.
    Do you see a super stud with a fat chick? Or do you see a supermodel babe with a fat guy? Rarely.
  • donna_glasgow
    donna_glasgow Posts: 869 Member
    I am naturally slim belly with curves in the right places and I tend to be attracted to an average to toned male body (I don't mind a soft belly either), I do like men to be strong but not over bearing ... I am not attracted to BIG muscles, or skinny or heavy men I like average and at least 3 inches taller than me ... When I gained my weight I never changed the type of men I was attracted to ... that remained the same, lucky for me I still attracted men I was attracted to ...

    SO I guess I was attracted to the same kind of body I had pre my extra weight ... if that makes sense :)
  • snookumss
    snookumss Posts: 1,451 Member
    I would assume thats fair. Its fact that many more heavyset women get picked up before the majority of HOT chicks when in club/alcohol settings because the guys lack the self-confidence to think they could score a hottie. Therefore, "lowering standards" and looking for the *bigger* ones....

    That is kind of demeaning larger women. I like "larger" women and don't think I'm not "scoring" if I don't go home with an anorexic *****!! Just sayin'

    Not trying to demean anybody... lol I've been a larger woman :D Thats just what I've heard many times, and most guys are obviously happy "scoring" with a woman they "settled" for!
  • 000WhiteRose000
    000WhiteRose000 Posts: 266 Member
    I use to be attracted to skinny guys with long hair. I honestly can't understand how I did as now I'm the opposite. I love muscle on a man and I like him to be much bigger than me - height and weight.
    I'm 5"11 so it's not that simple!
    I think now that I've realised what goes into muscle, I appreciate it so much more. And now that I've turned into a woman and not a young girl anymore I'm probably subconsciously looking for a strong man to protect and provide! Primitive I know but I'm sure this is what happens to my mind naturally.
  • Tiff587
    Tiff587 Posts: 264 Member
    Good question!

    I've dated people of all different body types, some lean some with more weight on them. Never unhealthy people, but I think this is because I have a very active life and anyone I date needs to be able to keep up! :wink:

    I used to be more attracted to lean, but fit guys, but now I find it's muscles! :love: I think as I have started learning more about it I appreciate the effort it takes and that makes me find it very attractive.

    I once dated a guy that hated I had more of a six pack than him! :laugh:

    :flowerforyou:
  • WillowBreeze
    WillowBreeze Posts: 102
    I prefer bigger guys, because I'm self conscious when I feel like I am not significantly smaller than my partner. (It's all in my head, of course because I'm 120 pounds and my smallest boyfriend was 150 pounds.) I think that I tend to be attracted to people who look like they work out because I work out, and we have that in common and value it on the same level. I also think it's fair to say that majority of people tend to gravitate towards the people they feel are on "their level" because that's where most people can find themselves comfortable with another person. Maybe that's just me, coming from an incredibly insecure standpoint.
  • BellydanceBliss
    BellydanceBliss Posts: 330
    i have never cared. I used to be thin and even when I was thin I dated big men but had also dated thin guys. I prefer a man with a brain that can can carry on a conversation that doesnt just have to do with his junk.
  • Tiff587
    Tiff587 Posts: 264 Member
    i have never cared. I used to be thin and even when I was thin I dated big men but had also dated thin guys. I prefer a man with a brain that can can carry on a conversation that doesnt just have to do with his junk.

    Agree with you!

    For me you can have the best muscles, and be drop dead gorgeous, but unless you have the personality to back it up, the most i'm going to do is look at you for two mins and move on! :laugh: (Not saying I wont look!)
  • chellekoren
    chellekoren Posts: 273 Member
    I had a conversation with a guy, who is very fit and muscular, and he said he has never been attracted to women of the same build as himself. His wife proves his point, too. She is beautiful and curvy with a tiny waist, not the long slender type. So, I've been wondering since then, if that is more the case. You tend to be attracted to your opposite. If you are tall and slender, you are attracted to stockier barrel chested type men or vise versa.

    I am short and I guess stocky for my frame, while still labeled petite. I have to watch what i eat or it will go straight to my hips and stomach. My husband is taller, lanky with broad shoulders and has never had to worry about his weight at all.
  • Buddhasmiracle
    Buddhasmiracle Posts: 925 Member
    Before I married i lived and worked in Manhattan and dated good looking guys (and eventually married one!) Smart and good looking, outdoorsy types, not extraordinarily fit, but active in sports-- an "athletic" build and comfortable with their body --which is also how I would describe myself. For me the greatest thing about living in a metropolitan area was meeting so many different kinds of people -- different races, different ethnic backgrounds -- "attractiveness" not bound by "boarders" of skin color, heritage, etc.
    I've always gravitated towards what may be considered shorter or medium height men as I am 4'11", and I prefered guys who are proportional to me and not daddy long legs and arms.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
    I don't know. I am medium height, healthy weight, blonde hair, blue eyes, and I go for tallish (5'11" plus), skinny men with brown hair NOT cut short and big brown eyes. I totally have a type.

    I have never fancied a man shorter than 5'10", and never found bulgy muscles attractive. Or tattoos, or buzz cuts.
  • carlie_carl
    carlie_carl Posts: 285
    Recently, a few posts I've seen suggest that people of a certain weight and look go for (when generalized of course) for a certain weight and look?

    Do we base out opinions of what we find attractive not just on what the other person looks like but our own expectation of what we look like to others and so base or opinion on the chance of hooking up with them given the chance?

    Of course there will be dozens of examples that show this is not always the case - I'm not saying that - but when generalized, is that a fair assumption?

    I think I do, well not anymore but I did, sounds like a shallow way of thinking (on myself) but I tended to avoid people I deemed 'out of my league' (not soley on looks) because I felt they wouldnt be interested, Its all about the way we precieve ourselfs I guess, I mean, you are what you make in your mind, So if you think you are only good enough for a certain type of person, you will more than likely end up with someone like that.

    Now, I think I can have anyone that I am interested in, not because Im ripped or good looking as Im niether at the moment lol, but because I think possitive about everything and I find that possitivity attracts the things you want
  • r1ghtpath
    r1ghtpath Posts: 701 Member
    body type only goes so far for me. i think some of that comes from 'live and learn." i married the guy who was a gym rat, 2 hrs every single day. i remember we went somewhere you could check body fat and his was so crazy low....... he did looking fit competitions. i had a nice body, but i always felt like he should be with a girl that loved to work out as much as he did. it was always a point of contention in our marriage. always!!! we are no longer married.

    one of the above posters commented about stubby fingers. i find that i'm more focused on things like that, than i am on a person's size or build. mine are the eyes, teeth, smile, sound of their voice, firmness of handshake, etc. i used to love longer hair on guys, and now i prefer short or bald. i have even developed an appreciation for facial hair :-)

    the last couple guys i went out with ALL had different body types. 1 was a bigger guy, tall and built. but not low body fat like my ex. more like a football player build. another guy was rather overweight and not really doing anything about it. on one of our dinner dates he actually finished my plate of food too. and the most recent, is small. he's just a couple inches taller than i am and he is muscular, but a small build. he has a low body fat percentage too, but is not bulky like my ex.

    so......... kinda depends.
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
    I am with my fiance because he makes me laugh more than anyone ever could and will in my entire life :smile: and his personality is outgoing just like mine! I don't care about looks, people shouldn't judge people based on looks, although he is a handsome man :wink: I don't like my men skinny as a rail, I would feel like I'm going to break them when I hug them, I like my men on the bigger side.
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