How Do You Beat The Low Self-Esteem Demon?

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  • blakejohn
    blakejohn Posts: 1,129 Member
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    With a big stick!! :-)

    have someone hold it down.
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
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    Firstly - I have just read your post above and therefore have deleted my original response.

    Secondly - let it go.

    Just live for the day, do your thing. I don't think you really had formed your identity before you got together with him, and now you experience a lot of insecurity. Perhaps go away for a week. Men can end up like old slippers - don't really do the job but you're fond of them and don't want to throw them away. It might actually be time to move on but you have to sit down and think it all out.

    There's something in your face that makes me feel that perhaps you intimidate the guy? I think if anything were going to wreck your sex life, it would be that. I have a boyfriend at the moment whose sex drive is the most incredible indicator of how safe and loved he feels... if he doesn't feel safe with me, ie he thinks I don't care etc, he doesn't want to play hide the salami. :p

    Editing again: even if he doesn't fancy you because you are not the right shape right now (men are triggered visually by certain shapes) just understand he must love you to hang around and miss out. Keep up the good work. Ay? And don't feel bad. It's a waste of energy. :D Just do your thing and be chill. :)
  • lady_in_weighting
    lady_in_weighting Posts: 196 Member
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    you have pretty much written what alot of women think and feel i reckon. we are far to hard on ourselves and judgemental. firstly, your bf should love you for who you are, encourage, support and motivate you to loose weight if that is what YOU want to do. him going on about how attractive other women are doesnt do much for your self esteem unless he also tells you have attractive you are. he's got to treat you with love and respect. i feel the same way sometimes. my bf will comment on the attractiveness of other women when i know that i look nothing like them. i dont have a toned, curvy body. im really flat chested which gets me down too and i know it bothers him but he wouldnt want to hurt my feelings by saying so. i have literally zero body confidence infront of him cause i know unless i put on weight and have a boob job then i will never be the women that HE desires.

    we all have insecurities and it stems from a variety of things - our past, our personality and the people around us. If you work backwards from that - surround yourself with people who love you, care for you, will motivate and support you, you will become a more positive thinking and happier individual who can achieve the goals that YOU want to achieve. Once you start to work towards those goals and see that you can do it, you will have the strength to face whatever has hurt you in the past and deal with all the emotions that come with it.

    remember your not alone. many women feel this way. just remember, its your life. make it as great as you want it to be (:

    best of luck x
  • alxdeanda
    alxdeanda Posts: 72
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    BUMP
  • GymAnJuice
    GymAnJuice Posts: 512 Member
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    bump
  • BrandNewDebz2012
    BrandNewDebz2012 Posts: 4
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    I can totally empathise with your situation been through this before... I don't like to judge, but you deserve a better boyfriend.

    If a guy has 'lost interest' in you that's HIS limitation, not yours. He must be pretty superficial. Sorry, just being blunt.

    In the past I have got angry, upset and cried when boyfriends would pay more attention to other women. Losing weight makes you feel like they will change if only you were slimmer. They will love you more if you are what they desire.

    I can tell you one thing for sure, losing weight wont make him less insensitive. He needs to grow up.

    But you can use the situation to your advantage. I'm using my emotions to drive me to get to a 'comfortable' weight were I feel confident about myself. Not for anyone else, just for me.

    Look, if your boyfriend can't 'be there for you' there are plenty of others who do want to support you. I'm here to support you in your journey if you need me.

    love and hugs,

    Debz x
  • littlelol
    littlelol Posts: 539
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    LETS BUILD OUR CONFIDENCE XXXX

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