Hello!

Hi there!

My name's Carmen, and I am 18 years old.

Stats;

Current weight - 196lbs/14st

Goal weight - 140lbs/10st

Height - (I think I'm) 5"5

Dress size - 16-18

Calories per day; 1, 500.

Exercise - None for now, though I work 4 times per week at a busy Starbucks.

Bodytype - Hourglass/pear

Background;

I was a slim baby, skinny child and curvy teenager. Then, when I was 14 years old, I ran away from home for four months. While I was away, I lost so much weight my ribs were sticking out and my smallest jeans were dropping off me.

When I came back home, I ate, and ate, and ate, and ATE like I would never be able to eat again. I ate a RIDICULOUS amount. The weight started to come back on - nicely at first. I was a size 10-12, and it was PERFECT. But, of course, eating like that has consequences.

One day, I woke up and I didn't recognise myself.

Everyone kept telling me I'd put on weight. I didn't want to listen. Then it hit me, and even now, I am in denial. I'm not 'that' fat, but yes, I am.

In my second year of college, I spiralled further and further into depression. I stopped going to college and worked part-time instead. I sat in bed all day, I ate. I ate whole trifles, gateaux, cakes to myself. And the weight piled on.

Then six months ago, I met my other half and started working at Starbucks. Being in a comfortable relationship and working in a place where one drink can be almost a quarter of your calorie allowance allowed me to put on even MORE weight.

So here I am. Fat, unhappy and embarassed to look at myself in the mirror.

So that's me! Hope I get a warm welcome! Sorry if this post is kind of vague - I wasn't sure what to write.

ETA: Does anyone know how to edit your signature and add pics in here, or do you have to have a certain amount of posts before that becomes available to you?