A stranger in the mirror

Hey everyone!

I apologize if there is already a topic about this...I didn't see one.

I lost around 100lbs a few years ago. I had a feeling the friends I hadn't seen in a few years wouldn't recognize me but I was not prepared for the mental challenges I would face after such a drastic change.

I think adjusting to my new body has been the hardest part of this journey for me. I was always obese as a child and unfortunately labeled "the fat girl" and always the fattest one of my friends...always left behind. That label stuck along with a few extra extra lbs and at 24 I was 300lbs and very sick with no health insurance and regrettably in a verbally abusive relationship with an alcoholic (with a laundry list of his own issue.) I was in a downward spiral and one day I realized if I didn't do something, then I was going to die.

I am an emotional eater and use food with every emotion. When I'm happy I want to eat because I fell like the food will keep me happy. When I'm sad it cheers me up. When I feel out of my comfort zone, it protects me....etc.

For a very long time after losing weight, it didn't sink in. I still automatically went to the plus size racks when I could shop in the regular sizes. I remember one day walking past a full length mirror and doing a double take thinking "oh she's cute, I wish I looked like that!" Then I realized I was looking at my reflection...a reflection that i admired yet still a stranger. I'm a very shy person and not used to the male attention. I've gotten better at it, but it's still a struggle and a lot of times I want to run and hide. Sometimes I go into panic mode and think that I can't do this anymore...I can't be this person...this outgoing, healthy, and social person and I want to gain my "armor" back on. I feel like I should literally hide in my own body again.

Not to make a long story even longer, but I would like to hear from people in a similar situation as mine that have had some sort of identity crisis because of their transformation. How do you get past it? How do you cope?

No one talks about the mental side of dramatic weight loss. I know I can't be the only one out there.

Sorry this was so long. Thanks for making it this far! Please chime in!