Screw up

SnazzyTraveller
SnazzyTraveller Posts: 457 Member
edited November 12 in Motivation and Support
I make myself so mad sometimes..... I have these random moments of "OMG YOU CAN TOTALLY BREAK OUTTA THE 150s!! IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD YOU HAVE THE POWER!" and then an hour later I'm making up some lame excuse for why it's ok for me to eat two cinnamon rolls and skip dinner. Then I feel HORRIBLE... I don't think like an "unhealthy state of mind horrible" but just like disbelief that I did it again.

I've lost 20lbs in six months, still wanna lose another 20. Just can't fricking motivate myself enough. What makes me mad is that I thought I dropped the bad eating habits- I was never in this "to diet" I really truly want to want eating clean. Such a lovely idea and I thought I could do it, but I guess since the new year started I've been slowly giving up. I think "meh, I'm not THAT overweight... I can eat that". But that's what bugs me! I don't want to compensate eating crap for anything! Even if I was a drop dead gorgeous supermodel, I want to have a healthy lifestyle! And I'm so scared of developing an eating disorder or something while trying to get there. I don't want to battle food the rest of my life, just wanna drop the pounds, have learned some lessons, and move on.

In the beginning of my weight loss, I was saying no to dessert and sweets, so when we were at family gatherings for example I would skip the cake. Now I still say no, but sneak back into the kitchen later and eat probably twice the amount that would have been given to me if I had just said yes to begin with.

I run daily so exercise is really not an issue. Sometimes I feel I could run longer to make up for the crap I ate but then I remind myself I don't want to teach myself that I can eat whatever I want so long as I'm constantly running 24/7. I want to train myself to eat healthy so that I don't neeeed to run five hours a day to lose weight. But what do u think?

Anybody think I am taking this all way too seriously? Some days this is what happens and others I feel totally calm and feel I have it all together, but it hasn't happened much in the last three months. I know it's never too late to start again but I'm so tired.

Replies

  • marbit
    marbit Posts: 108
    My personal opinion is that if you deprive yourself of foods that you love that arent neccesarily bad for you, you wont be able to sustain a lifestyle change. You will really just be able to do it for a while before you "break" (and who wouldnt, its not realistic). I think you might find it easier if you adopted a less "all or nothing" perspective. Let yourself have a (read one) cinamon roll, work out a bit longer at the gym to compensate, and eat a healthy dinner. Allow yourself to enjoy little pleasures. I think one of the biggest changes I had to make was to realise that I don't have to eat the entire pint of ice cream, or the entire quart. I found eating half a serving really really slowly was enough. Also, I found ways to make things I love out of healthier ingredients so that they were good for me, but still delicious. I tell you, my turkey chilli, i cannot believe that its not making me gain 100lbs its so good, but at 221 calories a serving, I can eat it and feel like im eating something decadent. Dont be so hard on yourself......
  • deliciousappleblue
    deliciousappleblue Posts: 23 Member
    It's best not to deny yourself, especially since you say you're prone to bingeing later to compensate. Even healthy people eat "bad" food sometimes, they just don't make it a habit or eat too much of it. Maybe try saying yes to a piece of cake every other time instead of always saying no, and see if that helps slow down the cravings. And if you want to eat cinnamon rolls for dinner one day, do it, and then get back on the healthy train the next day instead of beating yourself up. If you stress like crazy about the occasional bad day, you'll eventually just give up and be even worse off than you think you are right now. Telling yourself you can't ever ever ever eat anything unhealthy is just setting yourself up for failure. Everyone needs a little breathing space sometimes.
  • wwww1199
    wwww1199 Posts: 228 Member
    My personal opinion is that if you deprive yourself of foods that you love that arent neccesarily bad for you, you wont be able to sustain a lifestyle change. You will really just be able to do it for a while before you "break" (and who wouldnt, its not realistic). I think you might find it easier if you adopted a less "all or nothing" perspective. Let yourself have a (read one) cinamon roll, work out a bit longer at the gym to compensate, and eat a healthy dinner. Allow yourself to enjoy little pleasures. I think one of the biggest changes I had to make was to realise that I don't have to eat the entire pint of ice cream, or the entire quart. I found eating half a serving really really slowly was enough. Also, I found ways to make things I love out of healthier ingredients so that they were good for me, but still delicious. I tell you, my turkey chilli, i cannot believe that its not making me gain 100lbs its so good, but at 221 calories a serving, I can eat it and feel like im eating something decadent. Dont be so hard on yourself......

    Definitely this!
    Don't beat yourself up? You look great and you are doing so well!
  • love22step
    love22step Posts: 1,103 Member
    Most of us can't change our habits overnight. It's a gradual process. Maybe change one thing at a time. You might get used to substituting a green vegetable for a starch. Next, get used to substituting a piece of fruit for a sugary desert. Eventually, the changes become habits. Healthy living is a reward for learning healthy habits, not a punishment. Go slow, don't stress over it, and don't beat yourself up. You know what to do, you've done well so far, and you will reach your goal in due time. I'm betting on you. :flowerforyou:
  • karisma81
    karisma81 Posts: 71 Member
    I like to think of my diet as two parts self control and one part "reasonable indulgence".
  • SteveHunt113
    SteveHunt113 Posts: 648 Member
    My wife and I allow ourselves a spike day where we allow ourselves some indulgences. We plan on going over our calorie goal, but not going crazy with it. It's every Saturday and give us motivation to be good through the week. We are both losing weight since we still have a weekly deficit.

    Something to consider.
  • LemonBurns
    LemonBurns Posts: 538 Member
    Thanks for sharing - reading this post, I kept thinking to myself: This girl is TOTALLY me! I could have written this post. My mind set is very similar to yours. I too have lost 20+ pounds and would like to drop a few more, but since I started in a size 12 and am almost out of my 8's I am finding it harder and harder to keep motivated too - especially since I am a self-proclaimed Chocoholic, and am falling back into: "one (more) won't hurt, I'll run it off" or "I've done so well, it's ok" -- but it's NOT ok! Yes, I want my treats, and know I can not totally ever give them up, but I need to make them just that - treats. So again, thank you for posting this: It's nice to know I am not alone.

    So, here's what I am thinking: These are a few things I tend roll over in my head time and time again when I feel things are getting tough: "Whether you think you CAN or whether you think you CAN'T - You're Right." And "Just Decide" Really, isn't that what it is all about? A decision, to exercise or to stay on the couch. To eat ice cream or carrots - Everyday is just one decision after another, and really, only one decision at a time - so if we royally screw up one day, that's ok, let's not beat ourselves up about it, learn from it, and move on, 'cause tomorrow is another day, with all new decisions to make... Just Decide - you CAN do it! And so can I!!
  • Robbie32
    Robbie32 Posts: 65 Member
    My personal opinion is that if you deprive yourself of foods that you love that arent neccesarily bad for you, you wont be able to sustain a lifestyle change. You will really just be able to do it for a while before you "break" (and who wouldnt, its not realistic). I think you might find it easier if you adopted a less "all or nothing" perspective. Let yourself have a (read one) cinamon roll, work out a bit longer at the gym to compensate, and eat a healthy dinner. Allow yourself to enjoy little pleasures. I think one of the biggest changes I had to make was to realise that I don't have to eat the entire pint of ice cream, or the entire quart. I found eating half a serving really really slowly was enough. Also, I found ways to make things I love out of healthier ingredients so that they were good for me, but still delicious. I tell you, my turkey chilli, i cannot believe that its not making me gain 100lbs its so good, but at 221 calories a serving, I can eat it and feel like im eating something decadent. Dont be so hard on yourself......

    Can't say it better!
  • Toniithia
    Toniithia Posts: 50 Member
    LOL, GIRRLLLLL i feel you on this one.

    I feel like this all of the time.... I've controlled my binge disorder more than ever the past two months though, but saying no can be dangerous.... because when the deprivation comes in, that's when you want it more, and it SUCKS.






    today I ate WAY under my calorie goal, but went over on my sugar, and I'm PISSED at myself... like so mad that I'm afraid to step on the scale tommorow, I have a fear that I'm going to gain a pound, from going over on just my sugar alone...

    if that isn't parranoia, or some sign of a eating disorder, I don't know what else is.

    I constantly feel like a "screw up", when it boils down to my weight... I always tell myself " I can do this, I will lose the weight" then maybe 5 minutes into my excersize I will pause the dvd and think about giving up... the only reason I haven't is because I KNOW I can do it, and if I quit now, I'll be a bigger "screw up" and live an unhappy life, being over weight, and honestly, who wants that? not me, I know that!

    so just think... at those times you binge... what has helped me significantly is cutting out pictures in magazines of every girl I'd like to look like... I mean.. it may not be realistic, BUT it does kick up your motivation, I have one posted on the back of my bedroom door, so when I think I'm going to go snack on something... I stop myself, and look at the photo and remind myself of what I REALLY want, because honestly... whenever I binge it's when I snack.

    and what do I really want? I want to be happier, and lose the weight, everytime there is a change on the scale it gives me more motivation to keep going! so seriously, KEEP GOING, don't let those 2 cinnamin rolls get you down, just work your *kitten* off the next day, and don't stop there!

    I keep one day every two weeks where I will allow myself to eat WHATEVER I want, and honestly it has helped! because now I don't feel totally deprived, but I get overly excited when one of those days comes..

    it's hard, but, it's well worth it.
  • BrienJD
    BrienJD Posts: 541 Member
    My personal opinion is that if you deprive yourself of foods that you love that arent neccesarily bad for you, you wont be able to sustain a lifestyle change. You will really just be able to do it for a while before you "break" (and who wouldnt, its not realistic). I think you might find it easier if you adopted a less "all or nothing" perspective. Let yourself have a (read one) cinamon roll, work out a bit longer at the gym to compensate, and eat a healthy dinner. Allow yourself to enjoy little pleasures. I think one of the biggest changes I had to make was to realise that I don't have to eat the entire pint of ice cream, or the entire quart. I found eating half a serving really really slowly was enough. Also, I found ways to make things I love out of healthier ingredients so that they were good for me, but still delicious. I tell you, my turkey chilli, i cannot believe that its not making me gain 100lbs its so good, but at 221 calories a serving, I can eat it and feel like im eating something decadent. Dont be so hard on yourself......

    I agree with this poster and with all the others who agree with it also, can't really be said better

    One thing though

    I say this respectfully....from my point of view, you look very fine indeed.
  • sam23030
    sam23030 Posts: 76
    I feel exactly the same, I get into the healthy eating one day and then as soon as I start to feel a little better about myself I think, I'm not that bad, I don't want to restrict myself all my life, but then I look back in the mirror and realise all over why I started this.

    Right now I am fighting the urge not to have a bacon and hash brown baguette, even though I went over my calories yesterday and by eating that now, will leave myself with very few calories for the remainder of today and even if I exercise I probably still won't be able to undo yesterday.

    So I am thinking I will eat something lower in calories until I am not hungry, then I can make a more sensible decision and pick something I know I should eat and will probably feel more proud of myself later.

    I don't think it's such a bad thing to exercise more to cover the odd treat. It's not like realistically you will be running 5 hours everyday so you can eat what you want, you will strike the balance between going overboard and killing yourself running and just running off the odd treat.

    I think eating clean through and through is exceptionally hard and it is unlikely that someone can maintain that 100% of the time, its a great idea and a good thing to aim for but don't beat yourself up if you have the odd treat and it will inspire you to work harder.
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