just figured out my underlying cause of why i binge... now w

BeautyFromPain
BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
edited November 2024 in Motivation and Support
"just figured out my underlying cause of why i binge... now what?"


i cannot believe it took me so long to figure it out.
after reading a couple of articles on the net about "Narcisstic mothers" http://gloriarubio278.hubpages.com/hub/Do-You-Have-a-Narcissistic-Mother and realising that every single word sounded like it came straight from my mouth but i had never told anyone about it, I came to realise the reason that I binge is because in a round about way my mum has convinced me that I have to be exactly like her in life to be successful.

As horrible as that sounds, it is the truth.

Please no horrible comments or comments about how it doesn't count as abuse etc because it is just as bad.

Replies

  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
    bump
  • deadstarsunburn
    deadstarsunburn Posts: 1,337 Member
    That's a rough situation. I'm sorry you've had to deal with that because it's not fair to you. Be who YOU want to be. You're such a driven, successful young lady with so much ahead of you.

    I think doing some real thinking on who you are and who you want to be, where you see yourself in 10 years, and figuring out your core values would be soooo helpful. My dad just talked to be about how figuring out my core values and the sort of reputation I want to make for myself is sooo important in getting through college and figuring out my future.

    You're a very strong person <3
  • Dethea
    Dethea Posts: 247 Member
    That's really rough. Do you feel a little liberated, now that you know?

    Have you tried seeing a therapist? I went to one a few years ago for a few months. It really helped me to be able to talk to someone and learn some coping techniques. My regular physician recommended I work with both a psychiatrist and therapist, but I was dealing with a lot of depression and anxiety, along with my bingeing. It's not a cure, but really helped a lot.

    It's good that you figured out the cause, now you just need to work on dealing with it!
  • gazz777au
    gazz777au Posts: 157 Member
    Other's words can do a lot. They are powerful.

    Take control back and speak new words, words of life ... set your new course - own your life and be/stay positive (it helps).

    Cheers !
  • BeeSunny
    BeeSunny Posts: 172 Member
    How wonderful to figure out what has been causing it, it is liberating!!! The next step is to talk about with loved ones, your mom, a therapist, a friend, anyone who will give you support and not judge you, it will help free you in so many ways!!! Bingeing is a destructive disease just like alcoholism. Talk to someone about your binges too I opened up almost a month ago to my husband about my "closet eating" I have done for 32 years, he was shocked but very encouraging. Like everyone else had said on here find your freedom from this, the more people you tell the freer you will feel. I know why I binge but am still working on how to stop, Overeater Anonymous can help I have heard and seeing a therapist does help also. Good luck and be proud of yourself for getting this far!!!:flowerforyou:
  • katglaze
    katglaze Posts: 45 Member
    okay I truly understand. Father was that and mom is bipolar. Ahhh family dynamics. You are not them, you are yourself with a whole life ahead of you with choices each and every day. I will not lie and say the journey is easy, but I will say you can survive. Matter of fact I think you will learn much more about yourself than others without that background. You have been enlightened on the truth, and it will set you free knowing what you know now.

    The future is yours, the past you cannot change. Time to move!
  • Pronoiac
    Pronoiac Posts: 304
    The biggest hurdle to conquering such a negative meme is realization. Excellent self-discovery on your part.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,050 Member
    So now change your behavior.

    Everyone experiences stresses in their life. Even fit and skinny people do. It's just that they approach it without binging on food. Personally I take it in and either go for a run or hit the gym to help think about it and blow off some steam while at the same time doing something physically good for my body.

    My mom does it by cleaning the house. Lol, her house has been a little messy lately so I guess her stress is down.

    Find a direction that you can follow that won't make you feel guilty about doing it if you're relieving stress.


    A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • funkycamper
    funkycamper Posts: 998 Member
    Other's words can do a lot. They are powerful.

    Take control back and speak new words, words of life ... set your new course - own your life and be/stay positive (it helps).

    Cheers !

    This! I know it's not as easy as it sounds and that it can take awhile but replacing the negative self-talk with positive affirmations really does help.

    One of the best tips I ever got came from my mentor. She said that whenever I catch myself engaging in negative self-talk to hit or slap something and say "stop it!" I've gotten a few funny looks from people when, while driving, I've hit my dashboard and yelled it out. Ha! But it works. If you're around people, you really don't need to physically do it and say it out loud. Just visualizing hitting something and yelling "stop it!" in your head helps. I know it sounds wacky but it really helped me put a stop to negative self-talk in a big way and then I could actually start "hearing" in my heart and soul the positive affirmation I was replacing the negative ones with.
  • BeeSunny
    BeeSunny Posts: 172 Member
    Other's words can do a lot. They are powerful.

    Take control back and speak new words, words of life ... set your new course - own your life and be/stay positive (it helps).

    Cheers !

    This! I know it's not as easy as it sounds and that it can take awhile but replacing the negative self-talk with positive affirmations really does help.

    One of the best tips I ever got came from my mentor. She said that whenever I catch myself engaging in negative self-talk to hit or slap something and say "stop it!" I've gotten a few funny looks from people when, while driving, I've hit my dashboard and yelled it out. Ha! But it works. If you're around people, you really don't need to physically do it and say it out loud. Just visualizing hitting something and yelling "stop it!" in your head helps. I know it sounds wacky but it really helped me put a stop to negative self-talk in a big way and then I could actually start "hearing" in my heart and soul the positive affirmation I was replacing the negative ones with.


    I agree it is not as easy as it sounds. I never knew I was putting myself down, my husband had to point that out to me. Realizing what I have been doing for so many years, ( ex-husband didn't help but thats another story) made me more aware that I was ashamed of eating, I 'd say "I shouldn't have eaten that" and literally feel sick. I would love to hear more about how you started catching and really listening to yourself to make yourself stop funkycamper, and how you got a mentor.
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
    Good realization. Now you have the foundation to go about changing it! Celebrate!
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member

    Have you tried seeing a therapist?

    I can't afford one?
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