Embarrassment from old photos?

faithog
faithog Posts: 76
edited November 12 in Motivation and Support
I know this is silly- maybe someone else out there feels the same way...

My weight has always been pretty stable until early last year. When I gained- it came on so fast, I didn't even realize it was happening! Now, looking at photos of myself from that time (when my weight was it's highest) really embarrasses me! It feels like proof that I lost control- or something.

It stressed me out to know those lbs came on so quickly... and that I could let myself slip. I am ashamed to see myself in those pictures =(

I know that is a bit of a downer- but does anyone else have the same feelings? It seems weird to have to work on accepting a "past self", haha.
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Replies

  • Susanxxxx
    Susanxxxx Posts: 53 Member
    I was actually going to post a topic about this. An hour ago my brother was going through my old photos and couldnt believe how fat i used to be. I bever look at these pictures and was ashamed that i had let myself go back then. It has renewed my fight for the perfect body. I'm never going to look like that again!!!!!!
  • fittocycle
    fittocycle Posts: 827 Member
    Photos are a huge motivator, aren't they? They were for me! For quite some time, I kept telling myself that I wasn't that big. But when I saw the pictures, I had to acknowledge that I had gotten out of control! I've lost 14 lb.s and am trying to lose a couple more. Now, when I see pictures of myself, I scrutinize them, trying to be more objective and honest about my weight!
  • jvan1957
    jvan1957 Posts: 114
    Your present self looks Great!! Go with that :o)
  • craigers13
    craigers13 Posts: 241 Member
    I came across this same thing yesterday. I found my digital camera and started flipping through the pictures from last summer. I almost couldn't recognize myself. I have a hard time believing that it's even me. It has strengthened my resolve to making sure I will NEVER go back to that
  • Ireshgurl
    Ireshgurl Posts: 559
    I've noticed that since i've put on weight that there are less photos of me, especially from below the neck. I hate looking at pics of me right now. I can't wait till I get to the point where I can look at pictures of myself again.
  • jessicae1aine
    jessicae1aine Posts: 885
    I'm still in the fat zone, having just re-started this recovery mission of finding my skinny self, but pictures do embarrass me. I know they probably will when I'm skinnier, too - but I figure I can use them to remind myself of just how bad I don't want to get back to this point.
  • Jade17694
    Jade17694 Posts: 584 Member
    I was looking at the pictures on my mums camera earlier from the summer holidays last year...my god i didn't realise i was that big! It definitely embarrassed me.
  • LPCoder
    LPCoder Posts: 404 Member
    I may be in the minority here. I was 215 and looking at old photos doesn't bother me anymore. I actually feel proud of myself and a deep sense of satisfaction! I am who I am and my weight doesn't define me. It is only one thing about me. The picture is a moment in time and the people who surround me in that picture and the memories of them are what is precious. Perhaps you can think about it in that way and your embarrassment will lessen?

    PS...feelings are never silly!
  • shawnabug
    shawnabug Posts: 12
    I cringe when i look at old photos of me! I would try any position to make it look like i was skinny. I really never wanted my pic taken though. I havent taken any pics since i have lost 23lbs but I will here soon. I am actually nervous to take pics now bc of how i felt before.
  • UrbanRunner81
    UrbanRunner81 Posts: 1,207 Member
    Yeah they kind of make me feel ashamed. But when I see myself now compared to that I feel proud that I didn't let it rule my life.
    But I am now looking forward to when people take my picture now though ;)
  • lynn7298
    lynn7298 Posts: 18
    Here's what I found when looking through my old photos .....in almost 90% of them, I am stuffing my face. LOL....and I wonder how I got this way??
  • ColCul
    ColCul Posts: 53
    My 40th is coming up soon. My husband is planning a photo wall....but I have not allowed photos to be taken of me in the past 10 years when I was gaining. And there are a ton of photos that I will not allow that where when I was gaining. I totally understand!
  • rachemn
    rachemn Posts: 407 Member
    I deleted just a ton of pictures of mine from back when I was at my heaviest. I just couldn't stand to look at them and didn't want anyone to see them. Then my best friend said she loved those pics and I finally worked up the courage to make a before and after shot...but only for here, not facebook!! LOL
  • sugarbear16
    sugarbear16 Posts: 8 Member
    I have worked out, exercised all my life. When I hit menopause, the weight came on by the pounds and in a week. Each week I sky rocketed to gain 40 pounds. This was the hardest for me to deal with. I have other health issues, lots of food allergies, so many obstacles. I had to let go of the embarrassment because I had no choice. Doctors were working with me to figure out why I can't lose weight and why I don't burn calories as easy or hardly. I have lymphedema too. So I am swelling all over my body which is also embarrassing and puts on weight. You have to let go of the embarrassment. It is a part of who you are or were. Maybe you needed to at that time. If you don't let go of the embarrassment you can't move forward. It is a normal reaction, I still go UGGHHH!!!. All that matters is that you are back on track and you look fantastic whatever you end up weighing. Remember, it isn't about the numbers, its how fit you are. I went to Biggest Loser in Utah, there were people who weighed 80 pounds more than me and could hike up the mountain way way faster than I could. They were more fit. So thin isn't always fit. Good luck, feel better, you are a beautiful lady. You are human.
  • faithog
    faithog Posts: 76
    Your present self looks Great!! Go with that :o)

    Thanks, friend! I really appreciate it =)

    Photos are definitely a huge motivator... I do not want to go back there! I am mostly sad that I wasted time looking that way... I really wish I could enjoy the pictures from the wonderful events- but looking at myself like that just makes me sad. rachemn, I have been struggling with the decision to delete a few albums on FB at my "high weight"... that is what brought about this post, actually! The times were just so special that I don't want to remove them- even though my appearance is... "ugh".

    I love your positive take on it, LPCoder. "The picture is a moment in time and the people who surround me in that picture and the memories of them are what is precious". sugarbear16, you are also right. It IS a part of me and a part of my history now.
    I am trying very hard to think of it that way! I do not want to be embarrassed of myself.. (my past self?) Haha.

    Hopefully we can all learn to use the feelings these photos evoke as a tool to keep us healthy =) (But for now... they still stink to look at!)

    -Faith
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    You could burn the pictures. Pele will be pleased.
  • Goal_Seeker_1988
    Goal_Seeker_1988 Posts: 1,619 Member
    I refuse to look @ my fat pics. I admitt and am able to talk about being 85lbs heavier however, I don't like to look @ my fat pix. My one "friend" texted me a pic of me when I was in HS which I weighed bout 220 then and i explained to her that my old pics upset me. Wtf does she do bout a week later she posted them on FB and tagged me I cried for bout 2 hours. I don't trust her no more!
  • taylmarie
    taylmarie Posts: 161
    That is me right now! Photos are definitely a reality check! I was telling my husband that I know I have gained weight but that what I see in the mirror and what I see in pictures of myself are two very different things. Seeing recent pictures of myself motivated me to get back in shape. I don't ever want to go on a family vacation or a special event and feel like I need to shy away from pictures because I am feeling insecure. I want to enjoy the moment and looking back on the memories.
  • skarr28
    skarr28 Posts: 98
    It feels like a humbling experience, posting my before and after on facebook (which I intend to do after another 15 lbs). I can imagine my friends 'sharing' my pic with others, out of pride, encouragement, and also out of "holy crap, look at her before!"

    But, if it'll help and encourage my family to lose the Lbs, then I'll do it. That thought alone helps chase away the fleeting icky feelings of shame, lol

    :flowerforyou:
  • runs4zen
    runs4zen Posts: 769 Member
    Yes. I totally feel like old photos from the time I was super heavy embarrass me. Photos now...not so much!
  • HittingHerStride
    HittingHerStride Posts: 82
    I have few pictures of myself from the past 5 or so years, all overweight people that I have heard say they hate having their picture taken. The only thing that motivates me to let my picture taken occasionally is so my kids can have memories of us together.

    The ironic thing is no matter what my weight has been I always felt 'fat' at the time I hated the way I looked but now I look back on photos of myself and think I was so attractive then I wish I could have appreciated it more then.

    It's about learning to live in the moment and appreciate what you have I guess
  • RAQUELINATOVAR
    RAQUELINATOVAR Posts: 221 Member
    I have gotten lipo done after I gained weight. I just hated the way I looked so bad. It took me a good number of years to lose any weight till I got here. I started getting into it then got in a car accident. I am still working on it though. My sister got me to get the bodymedia at a discount since she already got one. I told my husband today that is the best giadget I have ever gotten in my whole life.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    I went through and untagged a bunch of old photos!
  • Fairy_Farts
    Fairy_Farts Posts: 166 Member
    You could burn the pictures. Pele will be pleased.

    That's true...Plus, it wouldn't be a bad idea to do an interpretive dance with a herd of naked mole rats.
  • reddcat
    reddcat Posts: 314 Member
    There are no photos of me for about the last five years. Can't stand to have my picture taken! My husband jokes that my son is going to wonder where his mother was when he was growing up.
  • SkinnieFinnie
    SkinnieFinnie Posts: 145 Member
    It's the opposite for me. I'm embarrassed when I see old photos because I used to be so small. I see pics of myself now & I try to figure out where I lost control. I was 107lbs when I was 16. I weighed 137lbs when I got pregnant with my 1st child at 20. I guess I lost control sometime after my daughter was born (motherhood has a way of doing that). At my highest weight, I was pregnant with my son. I weighed 204lbs. That is nowhere "normal" for me. I'm only 5' 4".. I started this weight loss journey at 188lbs..
    I say keep the old photos.. they give you hope & motivation. We can be our healthier selves! We're all in this together!
  • iamlottiebee
    iamlottiebee Posts: 33 Member
    My weight loss has been so progressive, I think I slowly forgot how bad I was. But when I look at pictures taken of me from my late teens / early twenties I shudder! I just look at myself and think "why did nobody tell me I looked like that?". But I've had friends tell me since I've lost weight that they "never thought of me as big", I wave the photos at them going "REALLY?!?! THIS doesn't look BIG to you?!?!".

    So, I can see I've lost weight...yet, on the flipside of that, I think I still have a bit of reality distortion going on as to how much I have actually lost, because sometimes I'll compare my current size to another person and honestly believe I am bigger than that person and my BF will look at me like I'm mental and tell me I'm much smaller than that person. Still... I hate my fat photos...
  • HittingHerStride
    HittingHerStride Posts: 82
    My son took prednisone for two years because of an auto-immune disease he has, it made him gain so much weight, not only do you look over weight but you look swollen. As a 15yo boy now you would think he would want to get rid of some of those photos from that stage in his life, but he finds them inspiring, it reminds him of his journey and how far he has come. A weight issue could do the same for many people, it's a part of you and it is part of what made you into the person you are today.
  • bets79
    bets79 Posts: 1
    I cringe about my 'fat" pics... but I've come to realize its all about improving my self esteem... I remember pictures when I was 50 lbs lighter and at that time .. they were my fat pic's .... At this point I work on treasuring the memories and my rule of thumb is if its just me in the picture and I don't feel good about it.. I delete it (or rip it up) if there are other people/places I think twice....Great topic.. Thanks :smile:
  • downsizinghoss
    downsizinghoss Posts: 1,035 Member
    I used to always avoid the camera. I still don't like having my picture taken but I don't hide anymore.
    It isn't because I have lost so much.

    My mom always thought she was too fat. I grew up watching her worry about it. As she got older it became more and more a reality. She never willingly allowed her picture to be taken.

    After she passed unexpectedly it became so hard to find pictures of her. We had to dig through so much stuff to find any and every bit of a memory we could scratch up. I won't put my kids through that. I became a ham again, just like when I was a kid and in shape.

    20-30 years from now, the overweight phase will be an important part of your life that led you to the person that you are now, and the person you will be.

    Why would you hide/destroy the eventual proof of your own amazing story? Who might you be telling that story to?
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