Ready to quit, mingled with irrational fears

hpj17
hpj17 Posts: 9
edited November 12 in Introduce Yourself
I've been overweight for a huge portion of my life. My last year of high school, I peaked and moved up into the "Obese" category. At 285 lbs, 6' 2", I had a dangerously high blood-sugar level and my cholesterol was extravagant. I felt like crap all of the time, my self-esteem was below the floor, and I felt atrocious every time I went out to shop for clothes: nothing fit. I started college, and I felt even worse surrounded by people who were fit and intelligent. I began working out because of my roommate, and eventually started doing it on my own. It was freaking hard at first; I could barely run. Since August to this very day in March, I've lost 122 lbs. I'm healthy, and I've been using MFP for a while now.

My current issue is that I'm 2 lbs. away from my goal weight, and only 10 lbs. from my ultimate goal weight. I've been a little lax with my diet, which I've had no issues with at all since starting. I feel great, but I sometimes still see myself as though I've lost no weight. I indulged for the first time in months last night because of my roommate. (I had an entire basket of Chili's chips and half of an Oreo molten lava cake. I went over by 460 calories for that day, and I weighed myself the next morning and had gained 1.6 lbs. back) One day of indulging, and I feel horrible. The scale showed my progress digressing...and I feel like I'm being irrational. I indulged for one day...is this going to ruin me?

I guess I just need support, because I have this overwhelming feeling of going back to the way I was before, and completely slipping up...

Replies

  • 1822Kim
    1822Kim Posts: 4
    gosh you have done amazingly well and are almost there. I am not hugely over weight maybe 14-20lbs heavier than Id like to be and have lost 13lbs in four weeks, but have now had a couple of really bad days, mothers day chocolates, wine and strawberry trifle, along with bacon and egg sandwiches in bed this morning. I feel guilty as hell as I also went over yesterday, but am going to get up tomorrow positive, plan my days eating WITHIN my allowance and determination to get the the gym.


    Dont beat yourself up over one day, how far you have come is awesome, tell yourself one day is silly but it is certainly not worth stressing about. Tommorrow is just another day and i'm sure the strength you have shown todate will get you back on track.
  • rookmb
    rookmb Posts: 84
    You have done a wonderful job!!
    Last night, you slipped. It happens. But today is a new day and so is tomorrow.

    You mentioned that you're close to your ultimate goal weight. Are you scared of being at that number? Some people are afraid of getting to maintenance because they have the fear of gaining all the weight back. If that's the case, make sure MFP is a part of your life every single day - especially during maintenance. Good luck!!!
  • palmerig88
    palmerig88 Posts: 623 Member
    Please don't quit. Don't worry about yesterday. It happened, move on. Don't punish yourself, don't try to make up for it...just let it be.
  • zeeeb
    zeeeb Posts: 805 Member
    one day is totally not going to kill you. have a few good days, and then re-weigh yourself, and it'll be back to where it was.

    you've done a brilliant job getting that far, no point throwing away all that hard work now. you can have a day off here and there, try not to go too stupid, but nothing wrong with going over every now and then, as long as you don't let it go on day after day.

    you are so close now, don't give up, and ease up on yourself.

    i know what it's like not having self confidence, but, really, to get so close to your goal weight is a mammoth task and you really should be so proud of yourself. forget about yesterday and focus on tomorrow.
  • j77r68
    j77r68 Posts: 271 Member
    yes you are being very irrational. you can't think like that about one indulgent day after losing all that weight and sticking to your diet for so long. you deserve some breathing room every once in awhile. i understand how you can think that you are still your big self, we all think like that at some point in our journey's. But besides us on MFP i would suggest you find someone in your family or your community to talk one on one and hash everything out even if that means they just sit there while you rant and rave for awhile to get things off your chest. you might feel relieved afterwards and have a renewed look at your health journey.

    YOU CAN DO IT !!! DON'T GIVE UP
  • AuntieMC
    AuntieMC Posts: 346 Member
    Of COURSE it won't 'ruin you"!! Surely you have had other mis-steps and set backs in the course of losing 122 pounds! I have also lost over 120 pounds, and I have had plenty of setbacks along the way! Unlike you, I am not anywhere near my goal weight yet, but I keep plugging along!

    Transforming your body and becoming physically healthier is an admirable goal, and one that you have obviously succeeded at quite well! However, I want to point out that a large body size does NOT cause self-esteem problems. Those arise from WITHIN a person. Plenty of thin people have them, too. Like you, I weighed in at 285 in High School. Only I was just a little 5'4 person, not your 6'2", so you can just imagine how very large I was! However, I had plenty of self-esteem, went on dates, and was actually fairly popular. I had an absolute BLAST at college! Your happiness and self-esteem is not a function of your body size. I am glad to hear you are doing so much better, and are so much happier. Now all you have to do is stop beating yourself up for small human failings, and be confident in your ability to recover from these little indulgences and setbacks. You are doing fine!
  • CrystalT09
    CrystalT09 Posts: 4
    You can't revisit the past, it's done, and over with! I don't have as much to lose (5'6.5, and 226 lbs), I look at you as an insipration. We all have our weak moments, and for you to get this far you must have learned to control them. So you splurged, you can get back up and do just as well as you have in the past. Keep your head up I know you'll meet your ultimate weight goal!
  • gazz777au
    gazz777au Posts: 157 Member
    FR being sent. There is a bit of support. I have been at goal weight since Nov.
  • chelsifina
    chelsifina Posts: 346 Member
    One slip certainly doesn't ruin you. Perfection is a completely impossible standard, and you should aim for a lifestyle that includes "slips-ups" or better yet "ocassional indulgences". You might want to augment your diet and exercise changes with some therapy to change whatever mental habits are currently challenging you. Neurology can be changed with talk therapy, and the parts of your brain you use to think about things has a tremendous effects on behavioral outcomes. I don't think you're crazy, but I wonder if you might have a way of thinking about yourself that works against you. Good luck to you, and keep fighting the good fight!
  • johnderrilll
    johnderrilll Posts: 7
    remember weight goes up and down.
  • StevLL
    StevLL Posts: 921 Member
    First, you've lost 122lbs that is friggin amazing! Second, I'd bet the 1.6lbs was from the sodium in the chile chips and a little extra water and a couple extra mins of lifting or cardio will nix that.

    Third,....and this is a big one. What have you done for yourself emotionally and spiritually? I amd still 79 lbs from my goal weight, so I cannot imagine how you feel being that close, but I know that doing some work on the emotional aspect of my obesity has helped me immeasurably. I still have irrational fears sometimes, but also have a better handle on how I look at my missteps and indulgences. It is a lifestle change not a diet (I know I'll get grief for that statement) and the long term success is from developing an eating plan that will serve you for life. I'm not burning up the scale with my weight loss. I've been at it just over a year and Though slow, it's steady and totallly doable.

    Try journaling, reading self help books, online groups, if we can get quiet with our feelings and follow back the thread of that feeling we can find where some of our food emotions come from and begin to change.

    You have got this, you've done awesome work! Friend me if you need sonme encouragement. My wife (hootsmamma) are good cheerleaders.
  • nurseshannon1975
    nurseshannon1975 Posts: 24
    I read a lot of these posts but this one is the first one I have replied to because it really hits home with me. At times I do so good and then I slip up. We probably do. BUT, the best advice someone told me is that "Tomorrow is another day to do it right." We've all heard this before but not that I am on MFP and steadily losing weight, this statement has become very profound in my own life and hope it hits you the same way. We may mess up but....tomorrow...we will buckle down and do it better. Don't get down on yourself for one day or even two days...just get back in there and keep working at it! Good luck!
  • NewTeena
    NewTeena Posts: 154 Member
    I would consider that more of a daily fluctuation rather than an actual weight gain. Don't focus on what you consider to be a short term failure, instead, remember what you accomplished over the long term.

    You don't have to look at reaching your goal as a signal that you have to quit mfp, there's nothing wrong with sticking with the program longer until you feel certain you don't need it anymore.
  • DonnaRe2012
    DonnaRe2012 Posts: 298 Member
    You're doing amazing don't give up !! We are human and we will continue to make mistakes. Don't let if ruin what you have accomplished. Acknowledge what you did so next time your "little voice" will kick in and help you through it.

    Move forward !!! :heart: :heart: :heart:
  • tmoyer1209
    tmoyer1209 Posts: 213 Member
    It is very hard to love ourselves, but that is exactly what you need to do. I am giving you the advice that I give myself everyday. You deserve to occasionally slip, it's human! Just drink some extra water and don't stress. You only went over less that one-seventh of a pound, the 1.6 isn't weight gain from that, sodium and possibly drinking less water yesterday is the cause. Weigh again in a few days to a week and you will find it gone.
  • dollienj
    dollienj Posts: 49
    Speaking from experience here - I just slipped up myself today. I know how it can feel. I agree with what other have already said - you've done an AMAZING job, so don't beat yourself up over this one time. Many of us have felt like you have, and it's OK. It really is.

    There was a quote I had read before, not sure the author - fall down seven times, get up eight. I'm using this as a mantra. I hope it helps you too.
  • donna_glasgow
    donna_glasgow Posts: 869 Member
    it might just be water weight due to the salt you ate ... Im no expert but Ive saw a few ppl saying that in posts ... drink loads of water weigh yourself in a few days time :)
  • Captain_Tightpants
    Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
    Most diets have a 90% five-year failure rate... meaning the loss isn't the hard part, the keeping it off is the hard part. You've done an incredible, successful, and empowering thing for your body. Now it's time to transition into a new phase of maintenance and building lifelong sustainable habits of moderation. If I was you I would stop focusing on calories and the scale altogether now. Start trying to develop a new relationship with eating. Start having fun exploring new ways to eat healthy and moderately. The book "Savor" by Thich Naht Hahn is a great place to start.
  • StatHaldol
    StatHaldol Posts: 414 Member
    You've done an awesome job! I'm envious!! Don't quit, a couple of days "off the wagon" won't destroy all your hard work.
  • the_energy
    the_energy Posts: 48
    DONT QUIT! I have similar goals to you when you started, 302 at largests currently at 276....you are an INSPIRATION. Not only because of what you have achieved, but because your human, and not afraid to admit it :)

    I know you're a total stranger, but I am proud of ya :) xxx
  • kiawya
    kiawya Posts: 73
    You have made a lifetime change. working out is part of your life now. You lost this weight so you could enjoy life, and part of that is splurging once in a while. I know your fears. I've lost/gained 3 times, been overweight my whole life. I know this time is different because exercise is part of my life now. It really is the end all of weight loss. You really didnt gain weight back, you were just bloated. Remember, during maintenance you will be able to consume way more calories, just to maintain, as as long as your working out, and dont splurge EVERY night, you will not gain it back. I know your fears, I share them with you. I still have 50 left to go, and I'm not killing myself about it. I splurge about once a month, maybe more. But in the scheme of a week, I still burn more calories than I take in, thats all that matters. DONT WORRY AND BE PROUD OF YOURSELF. Follow the MFP maintenance for a year, and you will be fine!
  • 77tes
    77tes Posts: 8,514 Member
    Have you ever skipped brushing your teeth? Did that make you decide to stop brushing your teeth altogether? Hardly! This is not a diet, it is a life-style change. You HAVE changed your life, and one day cannot undo that change.

    Tomorrow is another day. And 500 calories off target isn't even that bad.
  • hpj17
    hpj17 Posts: 9
    Thank you, everyone. It means a lot to me, having all of this "stranger support". Good to all of you with everything you're trying to accomplish, and congratulations on what you've already accomplished.
    These fears are completely new to me, and I have had absolutely no one to advise me through my entire journey. Thanks for helping me begin to ease my mind!
  • TheFitnessTutor
    TheFitnessTutor Posts: 356 Member
    If you gained 1.6 lbs, then good for you! I usually gain about 3 or 4 over the weekend. If you gained 1.6 lbs(as if any scale is really that accurate, digital or otherwise) then you gained about 1.5lbs of water retention and intramuscular storage if you were running low carbs before hand.

    So yea...screw it. Go to my site and read my last article about the law of opposites:
    http://thefitnesstutor.com/philosophy-the-law-of-opposites/
  • flopsy1973
    flopsy1973 Posts: 46
    You're doing so well. The odd day shouldn't do you any harm. I'm sure everybody does it. Try not to turn it into a habit. There are plenty of people here for you if you need them :smile:
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,423 Member
    Have you ever skipped brushing your teeth? Did that make you decide to stop brushing your teeth altogether? Hardly! This is not a diet, it is a life-style change. You HAVE changed your life, and one day cannot undo that change.

    Tomorrow is another day. And 500 calories off target isn't even that bad.

    This is very good advice. You are probably still at a calorie deficit for the day (if you calorie deficit is 500 or more) so you will still be well in deficit for the week. I think it really helps to look at the week as a whole (easy to do if you have the iPhone or iPad app), then it makes one day over seem a bit less significant.

    I do understand that sense of slipping back to old habits - I've been pretty "off" for the last month or so and hopped on the scales this morning to find them 2kg higher than they should be. That was a good reminder that I can't get back into bad snacking habits - I need to plan and eat good meals and good snacks, with a few indulgences here and there... just not all the time!

    Hang in there, you've done an amazing job so far, and learning to cope with one bad day without giving up is the most important skill right now.
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