when should you go to the funeral?

BeautyFromPain
BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
in Motivation and Support
Okay so a guy who I was not very close with, but saw around a lot at church passed away last week. I also have not seen him since 2010. I also have glandular fever which is making it hard to stay awake for more than a couple of hours without passing out, etc and as there will be a lot of people there I do not want to pass it on.

Should I go to the funeral or not?

(please no rude answers)

Replies

  • farm_mamaX9
    farm_mamaX9 Posts: 67
    I think you are not required to go but that you would be welcome if you did go. It does make a family feel better to see that their loved one made an impact on the community and that shows through as how many people attend a funeral.
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
    Thanks :)
  • therealangd
    therealangd Posts: 1,861 Member
    Send a card.

    Unless you are close to some of his family or close friends, then you don't need to go to the funeral.
  • taylmarie
    taylmarie Posts: 161
    Based on the fact that you did not know him that well and even more the fact that you are sick, I would agree that you do not have to go. I would also send my regards to the family and let them know that you are thinking of them, which you obviously are :)
  • BrianSharpe
    BrianSharpe Posts: 9,248 Member
    Send a card but stay home, you need to take care of yourself.
  • aniwani
    aniwani Posts: 110
    Send flowers or a card, and go to the gathering after ... that way you can stay warm inside... or stay in... you are really sick, you don't want the family worried about you when they should be focused about the funeral.
  • PJilly
    PJilly Posts: 22,112 Member
    I think you should stay home. You need the rest, and nobody else needs to get sick.
  • PoeRaven
    PoeRaven Posts: 433 Member
    Having just went through a death in my family, here is what I suggest for your situation.

    It was so wonderful to see all the lives my brother touched and I loved seeing so many from his church at his visitation and funeral service...however, I am equally grateful that after shaking hundreds of hands and a thousand hugs, I came away without catching even a sniffle.

    Stay home and send a card to the family with a heartfelt note. They will appreciate you for your kindness of recognizing their loved one's passing and your concern for everyone's health.

    God bless ya...
  • 2Bgoddess
    2Bgoddess Posts: 1,096 Member
    stay home. funerals often draw the elderly out, you would not want to pass on something to them that might greatly effect their health. send condolences, or donation of their choosing.
  • elenathegreat
    elenathegreat Posts: 3,988 Member
    No one is expected to go out for anything if they are sick...rest up!
  • johnderrilll
    johnderrilll Posts: 7
    If it was me I would go. When he has passed he cant see you there at his funeral, but others can.
  • SuddenlyPickles
    SuddenlyPickles Posts: 88
    The best advice someone every told me was that "it's never inappropriate to attend a funeral."

    Last year, I was on the fence about going the service of a coworker's father (as I had never met him and he was pretty old when he passed away), but I ended up deciding to attend. I sat at the back of the funeral home and only said a few words of support to my coworker. Months later, the coworker came up to me to (tearfully) say how much she appreciated the fact that I took the time out to pay my respects to her father and that I was the only person from our company (~200 people) who showed up. If I were to lose someone, I'm not sure anything would bring me greater joy that seeing a packed church/hall, knowing that him/her was loved by so many people.

    Here's a pretty moving article on the subject: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4785079

    PS: if you feel you're too ill/contagious to attend, I love the card/flowers idea.
  • LadyJenza
    LadyJenza Posts: 2
    Your heart is in the right place. A sincere card would be appreciated by the family, but passing out or passing on illness at the funeral would probably not be as welcome :)
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Are you close with the family?

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