Feeling depressed..

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Bella151
Bella151 Posts: 123
in Motivation and Support
I know this is going to sound like a pity party, and that is not my intentions, but I just need to get this off my chest, because I am really feeling depressed about my body. When I was 15, I was diagnosed with Bulimia and Body Dysmorphia. I still suffer from both, but I am trying to battle the bulimia, and it is not so bad now that I have had a child. Anyways, I am starting feel like my weight loss is hopeless, because no matter how much weight I lose, I will always look fat due to my broad shoulders, and big upper body frame. I was even told before that I have very broad shoulders, and that really makes me self conscience, because I feel ugly and masculine, and at only 5'4, it really does make me look stocky. I know I shouldn't fixate on one part of my body, but I just feel so unfeminine because of my broad shoulders. Just wondering if any other woman out there is going through what I am? Sorry for the post, I just needed to let it out.

Replies

  • ilmommkc
    ilmommkc Posts: 73
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    I think we all have a body part, or parts, that we dislike. Unfortunately, some of those parts we have NO control over-like broad shoulders, nose shape/size, etc. Also, remember physical appearance is not what we should be really concentrating on. Being healthy and being a good person are much more important (easy to say, hard to do).

    Good luck!!
  • mojomcgee
    mojomcgee Posts: 50
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    Don't be so hard on yourself. The beauty is that we all come in various shapes and sizes by God's design. If that were my problem I would try to buy clothes that minimize my shoulders and enhance my better features such as your waist. It's amazing how good (or bad) you can look depending on the clothes you wear. Congrats for getting it in check as much as you have and remember your beauty will shine out from within so lighten up and shine. None of us are perfect and we're all striving to get there.
  • JenniferMann24
    JenniferMann24 Posts: 293
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    I agree that we all have a part of our body that will always bother us. Mine is my arms....I have also struggled with some of the things you have and its not easy...Just to make you feel better. Ive looked at your pictures before and I don't think you have MAN shoulders at all...Your very pretty!:flowerforyou:
  • kblu0816
    kblu0816 Posts: 1,627 Member
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    I can relate to the broad shoulders. I am also 5'4 and have a very curvy body. Even with wide hips my shoulders are still wider. I know that it's tough to find shirts that fit just right and I can get down as well, especially when shopping. What I normally do in those situations and think about the part sof my body that I like, for example, my butt. I love my butt lol.
  • carrieberrie
    carrieberrie Posts: 356 Member
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    If that is you in the pic you DO NOT have broad shoulders!

    I have hips, but that runs in my family, I have just learned to deal with it. I have no control over that.
    But you look great in your pic! Your being to hard on yourself!
  • weaverc
    weaverc Posts: 158
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    I saw your pictures and you are beautiful. I don't particularly think your shoulders look broad. We have what God gave us and I think we just have to rock it out with what we've got. I know that I have a little broader shoulders too (among other problems) and I have found that some clothing choices can minimize the appearance and actually make you feel really good about the way you look. I have found that halter top style shirts really work for me. Since the shirt cuts across the should area and ties behind the neck, it almost cuts the shoulders in half, visually. It also draws attention to your neck so that no one notices the shoulders, they notice how HOTTTT you look.

    My advice is to just work with what you've got! Somethings can't be changed, so you just have to embrace them.
  • abatres7
    abatres7 Posts: 146
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    I have seen broad shoulders and you don't have them!!! Relax, enjoy the fact that you can stand strong. Everyone is unhappy about some part of their body. Just some of us are more verbal about it then others. Be happy that you can walk and see etc...
  • amymeenieminymo
    amymeenieminymo Posts: 2,394 Member
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    I can relate to the broad shoulder thing, I've been told that before and it definitely makes you feel less feminine. I also hate my calves, I am 5'2 but also have very short legs, even for being short. My calves are muscular so I feel like they look all squatty and funny looking, so I never wear shorts.

    I never even had a problem with my calves until the 9th grade when this FOOTBALL player of all people said he wished he had my calves. Funny how one little comment stays with you for the rest of your life.

    It's ok to not like certain parts of your body, everybody has issues with something. But to get over it temporarily, I try to think of how lucky I am that these are my only complaints. I watch shows like discovery health and TLC and I just can't get over some of the deformaties people have to live with. Some of them are so bad that they cannot leave the house without everyone staring at them and being afraid. It makes the things I don't like about myself seem so trivial and I feel blessed to be healthy and to have such minor problems.
  • amymeenieminymo
    amymeenieminymo Posts: 2,394 Member
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    I saw your pictures and you are beautiful. I don't particularly think your shoulders look broad. We have what God gave us and I think we just have to rock it out with what we've got. I know that I have a little broader shoulders too (among other problems) and I have found that some clothing choices can minimize the appearance and actually make you feel really good about the way you look. I have found that halter top style shirts really work for me. Since the shirt cuts across the should area and ties behind the neck, it almost cuts the shoulders in half, visually. It also draws attention to your neck so that no one notices the shoulders, they notice how HOTTTT you look.

    My advice is to just work with what you've got! Somethings can't be changed, so you just have to embrace them.

    Second the halter top look. Halters have always looked good on me but I never knew why, lol.
  • LaurenLouise
    LaurenLouise Posts: 1
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    "broad" shoulders on a woman is desirable! it helps you carry your child and show your man that you are a strong woman. my dad always complemented me on my broad shoulders and i was a ballerina fro 20+ years so i understand the eating disorder thing. everyday is a battle just keep up the fight - thats winning!
  • memaw66
    memaw66 Posts: 2,558 Member
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    I looked at your pictures and you are a beautiful young lady!
    I have broad shoulders, so I always make sure that I buy shirts w/out shoulder pads or take them out immediately, so that I don't look like a football player. But I have learned to love my shoulders, I was once told by a stranger that they were very sexy, so since then I have loved them. I do have a complex about my neck though. I have a very fat neck for some reason. A doctor once told me she was worried about me because my neck was so big!!! Talk about making you feel bad!!!

    My advice is just love your body for what it is because it's what God wanted you to have. As long as you are healthy and taking care of yourself, that's all that matters.

    Memaw
  • proctor0828
    proctor0828 Posts: 179
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    I have broad shoulders too... I'm 5'2". I know what you mean but through trial and error I've found styles that make me glad I do have my broad shoulders.
  • Bella151
    Bella151 Posts: 123
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    I just want to say thanks to everyone who posted on here. All of your advice/ comments/ motivation has really lifted my spirits a lot. Once again I am so glad to be apart of this online community, because someone (or many) will always pick u up when you are down, and vice versa. Thank you so much for making my day brighter!
  • staceyw37
    staceyw37 Posts: 2,094 Member
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    :heart: hugs:heart:

    try to remember that you have a baby counting on you to keep moving in the healthy direction. that baby loves you no matter what you look like! and you need to love yourself just as much!

    post reminders of how outstanding you are--
    you hold your baby when needed, you ate a good breakfast, you love your dog, your broad shoulders give you good posture and will make it easier to lift that baby when older, you are capable--you grew a life in you and delivered it into this world.:heart:

    my point is to try to take comfort and pride in all that you have accomplished thus far. and keep charging ahead! :flowerforyou:
  • parrotlover
    parrotlover Posts: 143 Member
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    I just wanted to say I that I see your posted picture and that I don't even think your shoulders look broad. I think you look great the way you are! I would love to look like you! :) Keep you head up and remember that what you think you see in the mirror is NOT what everyone else sees! That is the hardest to believe but it is very true!

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