Just need positivity and support

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NavyKnightAh13
NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am starting to get discouraged a little bit. I have been trying to lose weight all my life (its been a struggle, and most times I have been successful and then something happens) but for some reason, i can't get that scale to move below 200 and i keep waking up every morning hungry to the point of wanting to throw up. I know i am still in the process of eating healthier and working out, but i feel guilty every time i get the munchies (and even water doesn't help) and i end up eating something, and feel like I'm sabotaging myself. i hate to post up things, but, i need some encouragement and support.

the majority of my weight was put on after my mother passed away from a massive heart attack and copd with emphazma (pardon my spelling) at the age of 57 (she died in feb 2009, she was also battling anal cancer and possible ovarian cancer, though they could never confirm it nor confirm if she was in remission) and then my grandmother passing away in Jan of 2010 from carbon dioxide build up in her lungs. and my major weight loss was because of my pregnancy...but i do have exercise induced asthma, which unfortunately will turn into copd later in life, and have the stress and worry of heart related problems because it runs on both sides of my family, and sadly, most of my moms side has died young and most were in excellent health. I have never been skinny, and never will be, but i would like to be way below 200. The reason my goal is set to 180 instead of 165 is because right now, i feel i might make that goal, but i am feeling guilty for even eating one bite of food.

Please, no negative comments, just suggestions and support. Its very hard for me to share this, and don't wish to regret sharing it.

Replies

  • clarebrad
    clarebrad Posts: 188 Member
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    the fact you are on the site and working through it is great. Kudos to you. It takes time, just keep working at it and making small goals. Don't always focus on scales, don't forget your clothes how you feel and look. Don't fell guity to eat, eat the right stuff, even if you went over a bit but is all good food is better than nothing. Learn from your days, think how you can improve, learn to enjoy the new healthy foods. It will happen and you can do it. Remember all of us are different and results vary.
  • Linsstech
    Linsstech Posts: 3 Member
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    Keep going!!! Don't feel guilty bc u ate something you shouldn't have but remember that feeling and try not to eat that again. I am a snacker and I always let myself have a serving size of dark chocolate chips with a serving size of peanuts while watching my favorite show at night....knowing that I'm going to eat that snack at night helps me to say no to the snacks during the day and look forward to that at night....and I enjoy every minute of it!! Maybe you could try something like that to keep you from eating not such great foods all day.....the most important thing is that one screw up is not the end of the world, just eat healthier next time :)
  • rissadiane
    rissadiane Posts: 355 Member
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    It takes time to get used to a new lifestyle. I know I'm up and down a lot with my diet and exercising. but feel free to add me! I love to encourage people <3
  • EpiGaiaRepens
    EpiGaiaRepens Posts: 824 Member
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    awww...hon. Sounds rough.

    The only thing I can think to say is eat more of lower calorie stuff. Believe it or not, your belly can be full of low calorie foods and feel full. I'm thinking whole grain like quinoa (or brown rice) and a TON of veggies prepared in water, just a tiny bit of oil, the proper spices...it can be delicious.

    When I was first losing weight, I ate for breakfast every single day broccoli and tomatoes cooked in water (no oil) and sprinkled with tumeric, garlic powder, salt and pepper. I loved it. Ate tons of it. Now I don't like it so much, but now I'm eating lots of broccoli and cabbage sauteed with onion and garlic in a bit of oil, add veggie broth and some green curry paste....that on some quinoa is pretty good.

    that doesn't mean don't eat any of your usual stuff, but I think this could at least help with the empty belly feeling while giving you fiber and nutrients and not making your calories go off the charts...

    good luck!
  • ztelha
    ztelha Posts: 3
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    Stay positive. It sounds like you have been down this road before and have succeeded. Snacking is alright also, it's what keeps you on track and prevents you from binge eating. Wondering if you have any support at home from friends and family. It sounds like you have dealt with a lot the past few years. I am glad you shared your feeling on this forum. Keep up the good work and please continue to post what you are feeling. It helps to vent.
  • kbiggers11
    kbiggers11 Posts: 2
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    I have had similar issues when it comes to losing weight, I have diffculty most of the time and really have to work my butt off for the pounds I do shed. But I would say to continue to set small goals, like 10 pound goals and give yourself a cutoff date to lose them by (A reasonable date, at least one month because a healthy, natural weight loss is 2 lbs per week). I also use upcoming events as a motivator, like a wedding, a trip, a birthday party, ect. Hanging a "goal outfit" whether it be a dress, a swimsuit, pants, or whatever where i can see it everyday is a real motivator for me to stay away from tempting overindulgences. Also, I make sure to write in the notes section of my food journal everyday. I write about how I felt that day, how hungry or nto hungry I was, how exercise made me feel, how my energy level was, how deprived or not deprived I felt ect. Weight loss is not a quick and easy fix, it is a lifestyle change; and that is not an easy pill for most people to swallow. And after many failed diets and fluctuating weight I have finally realized this. Knowing that you are losing weight and making better food choices in order to be healthier and have a "better body" really gives you a new perspective on weight loss. I hope you continue to work to lose weight, it can be a very discouraging journey but just remember that each day is a new day to wake up and decide to make better choices no matter what choices you made the previous day!
  • LeslieMDoyle
    LeslieMDoyle Posts: 162 Member
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    sweetie, there is nothing wrong with eating. You can eat all the time. You just have to be smart about what you eat. When you wake up hungry, grab a few grapes or carrot sticks. Eat an ounce of cheese or make yourself a cup of oatmeal. You'll be amazed at how much you get to eat when you're eating healthier. And for those times when you do eat something that's not healthy, accept it. Try to work it off. But if you can't, you can't. All you can do is start again the next day. Every day is new. don't let what you did or didn't do yesterday, stop you from being successful today. You can do this!
  • honestlysweet
    honestlysweet Posts: 221 Member
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    The thing that changed my life was joining the gym. I know that sounds cliche, but I was never a huge exerciser, always making excuses not to exercise. Although I would still exercise, I didn't push myself very hard. But in January, I started going to the 6am classes at my gym, body combat, bodypump and others. I go five days a week. It is the most incredible feeling in the world. Because when I exercise by myself, even though I think I am pushing myself, if it gets too hard, I stop. But in a class, the group setting motivates you to keep going and push beyond what you thought you had in you. Everyone works at their own pace and if you need to stop for a drink of water, or step instead of jog in place, that is ok. The key is to keep moving. I have never felt better in my life and I am six inches down on waist and hips and ten pounds lost in two months.

    Also, another benefit from this is you get to eat more! If you binge, it will not be a huge problem because of your workouts. So if you have a problem with snacking, you won't feel so bad about it. Also, exercising has made me snack less. Just don't have the need to.

    So with everything you have been through, you would really benefit from the mental and physical lift from joining a gym. My father died of cancer, albeit a while ago, but still, everyone has problems and it's hard sometimes to bounce back. But my advice would be to get to a gym and get feeling happy again! It worked for me!
  • NavyKnightAh13
    NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
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    Well, as far as weddings, I got married last Sept to my husband, which he and I have been together for almost four years (which we had started dating in 2008, we got engaged on my 21st birthday and had been planning the wedding for 2 years, our son was unplanned, but a blessing). As far as weight goes, basically i have always been overweight, and when I first started college at Ashland University (i met my husband there and left in 2009 due to my moms death, too hard to be in the same city and lost the place that i had been residing in) i was 214 (my weight had always bounced between 175 and 200 from puberty which I started when I was 8) and for the first time, in six years, I am 200. (i have also been heidelberg which is where i was before having to go to Terra to pursue my associates. I was pursuing communication and theatre arts: media, basically radio and television along with a film studies minor). Thank you for the encouragement and support :)
  • agranados87
    agranados87 Posts: 23 Member
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    Aw, girl don't be discouraged! You have taken the first step which is joining this site and deciding that you want to lead a healthier life and be a better you (and a better mom). I know it can be difficult, especially with a new baby and with all the other things life throws at us, but think about how your lifestyle impacts your family. Do you want your kids seeing their mom eat unhealthy and not take care of herself? Or what if something happened to you as a result of how you eat, think of how that would impact your family. When I feel unmotivated, I think of my baby and how I want her to picture me- healthy and strong (not necessarily in a physical sense).

    I agree with the pp who suggested snacking on healthy items like fruits and veggies. If you have to have something sweet, try sorbet or low fat pudding cups (I like the Fiber One bars for a sweet treat). It helps me if I keep junk food out of my house, so try getting rid of all the bad food. Is your husband supportive of your diet?

    You can definitely do this, but you have to realize that YOU are the only one who can make it happen. You have to make the right choices and be accountable for the foods you're eating.. it is definitely do-able though :flowerforyou: 6.5 months ago I weighed in at 190lbs right before I had my daughter...today I am at 142. YOU CAN DO IT!!! Good luck mama!
  • tinchick
    tinchick Posts: 59 Member
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    Well your 2009/10 sounds as bad as mine. I lost my father to a pulmonary embolism in Dec 2009 (he was 58), lost my paternal grandmother in Feb 2010 and my maternal grandmother this past year (2011) after a long battle with Alzheimer's. So I can relate to having sucky stuff happening. Not fun!

    Now on to the advice. If you are hungry when you wake up, eat. A bowl of cereal, a banana, frozen waffles, anything. Just eat. Not only is it generally good to have breakfast because it sets your body up for the rest of the day, but if you are really feeling hungry, then your body is telling you that it needs food. That's the sucky thing about weight/food management. You still have to eat to live. There is no going "cold-turkey" with it.

    Along the same lines, don't feel bad about getting the munchies or eating. I get the munchies all the time. What helps me is if I take a second and listen to my body (sounds weird, I know). If I'm hungry because I haven't eaten in awhile or didn't eat enough, then I have a small snack. If I want to eat because I'm bored, sad, happy, tired, etc, then I don't eat and try to do something else. And, yes, drinking water can help if your body is craving water and you misinterpret it as wanting food. Been there. The important thing is to listen to what your body is saying. If the idea of having a snack scares you, then just make it a healthy snack like fruit or yogurt or something. I tend to have a low fat ice cream bar in the middle of the day when I get the worst munchies so that after I'm done eating the ice cream, I can gnaw on the Popsicle stick for awhile. It helps stop me from eating anything else. Might be worth a try.

    One last thing: Don't stress over what might happen. Heart disease runs very strongly on my father's side of the family and many of the men on that side of the family died young. I realize that I'm not a guy, but it's still a concern. I have diabetes and skin cancer on my mother's side, not to mention Alzheimer's and who knows what else. But if I spent all of my time worrying over the problems that I could have, then I would be too scared to even really live. And from a purely weight loss point of view, stress can prevent your body from losing weight, not to mention causing a whole bunch of other medical problems. When you are stressed, your body releases cortisol, which in prolonged doses can really mess you up. I'm not an expert by any means, but I remember learning about it in my behavioral neuroscience class and decided that day to try and be less stressed. So if nothing else, try and relax. It may be just the thing to kick start your weight loss.

    Good luck with everything and I hope this post gave you the encouragement you needed. :)
  • violetsue
    violetsue Posts: 54 Member
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    Be proud that your are making a change. It is not easy. Go slow.
    Plan ahead. Snacks are a good thing. Know you will snack and have a bunch of different low cal natural foods precut and ready to eat. Like one of the other people stated, you would be surprised how much food you can eat when its good food.
  • withwolvesteeth
    withwolvesteeth Posts: 13 Member
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    Just be proud of yourself for signing up on here and making the conscious decision to do better for yourself! I think really acknowledging that you want better for yourself is awesome in the first place, and a lot of people don't do it. It is a slow process because you're doing it the healthy way that will bring about lasting change. You -can- do this!

    Don't feel bad about getting the munchies! I get them all the time. I was pushing 190 when I joined this site, almost a year ago, and it -was- due to over eating. When I took a step back and realized the junk I was eating, I had to "re-train" my stomach. I began to consume more water, ate less high calorie foods, and ate slower. Eating slower has helped me so much. When hanging out with friends, I would prepare low calorie/nutritious snacks ahead of time so I wouldn't fall into the social traps of eating garbage. You know what has helped me a ton and will seem like a pain at first? Making sure you eat every 3 hours. I started this a few weeks ago, but it has helped so much to ease the ping of munchies. And I eat less during my lunch/dinner because I have control over it now. That might help you. I found it amazing that I would get hungry around 3-4 hours of my last snack/meal, almost on the dot!

    My gramps passed away 4 months ago. He really encouraged me to get myself into shape, for myself and for him because he wasn't able to due to his health (COPD, had a quadruple bypassy, diabetes, low blood pressure which all lead to liver/renal failure and his death). I keep that in my heart and head at all times, and it really pushes me to push myself. I think this is what our loved ones would want for us, so we don't need to experience the same painful chronic diseases/health issues as they did. I think your mom would be so proud of you for taking the steps to get fit. Set the example for your son of leading a healthy life too! :) Think of all the fun outdoor activities you two can do together once he's older. YOU CAN DO THIS! :)

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