So discouraged

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Zoeegirl
Zoeegirl Posts: 100 Member
in Motivation and Support
I so want to just give up!!! I eat healthy for a while and then I blow it and gain all the weight back :( I know its all a mind set, but I dont know how to change it :cry: I dont do anything consistent, why should I think eating would be different?!! I have tried my whole life- Just so upset right know:frown:
Please help!!
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Replies

  • sloanie1
    sloanie1 Posts: 276 Member
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    OK....lets put things in perspective....how long have you been on this journey?? how much weight have you lost/gained back?

    You are correct in what you are saying, it is all in the mind....you have to ask yourself some serious questions:

    Why did I start this journey?
    What do I want to achieve?
    How hard am I prepared to work?
    What are my goals?

    You have to have your goals written down, if you don't then its not going to work, by witing them down you are committing to them and owning them...is it going to be hard? YES!!!! are you going to fall down? YES!!! do you have to make sacrifices? YES!!! its tough, and frustrating at times...BUT what is the alternative??? being miserable and wanting to throw in the towel, you have to want to do it....

    I've been at this for 24 years....most recently 18months, I'm nowhere near my goal yet....I have fallen down but each time we get stronger, only you can do it, don't think about it just do it! you have to believe you can otherwise you will fail.....find support, research everything, eat live and breathe your dreams....then they will start to come true.....xxxx
  • Zoeegirl
    Zoeegirl Posts: 100 Member
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    Well, I feel like I have been doing this my whole life, but really it has been on and off for the past 13ish yrs. I have lost every where between 20-75lbs only to let it creep back on :angry:
    I just want to be healthy and active. I want to play with my kids, take walks with my husband and not be dying, feel good when I put clothes on because they fit and I didnt have to squeeze into my size 26 jeans again!!:sad:

    I am just having a really hard night, tomorrow hopefully I will have a better outlook. I know I have to find whats right for me- but I just dont know what that is. I am thinking about joining Weight Watchers. Im not sure.
  • kyle1128
    kyle1128 Posts: 11
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    Need a friend?
  • Zoeegirl
    Zoeegirl Posts: 100 Member
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    Kylekuser: Always!! Thanks for asking :smile: I will send a request.
  • Rachiepie6
    Rachiepie6 Posts: 423 Member
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    Don't give up! MFP can help, you've only been on MFP for 2months max, consider it a new start, start small and build up. Do not go too hard too fast or you might throw the towel in.

    Choose your attitude, you can do this. You will do this!
  • pinkpandangel105
    pinkpandangel105 Posts: 38 Member
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    I never thought that I would be able to actually start to lose weight. I felt like I was just too lazy. But I started to get more careful with what I was eating and just making everything myself. I also started to walk a little everyday and each day a little more. I would push until it hurt and then allow myself to rest. And you know what? I'm down 31 pounds and a pant size. If you need a friend you can add me. I am on here everyday. Sometimes several times a day. Don't be discouraged. You can do this girl
  • Zoeegirl
    Zoeegirl Posts: 100 Member
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    thanks girls!! It really helps to hear Im not alone:flowerforyou:
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,554 Member
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    I agree with the advice to really think about your goals... and maybe set some that are a bit more short term and acheivable.
    We all tend to set out with these grand plans to lose 50 pounds and keep it off... which is a good idea, but it's not easy to do when it takes a long time and you have to persist to get there.

    My suggestions:

    - set yourself a realistic calorie goal. DON"T eat just 1200. Set your goals to "lose 1/2 pound a week" and give this a try. It might seem like it will never make a difference, but it will. Having a bit more to eat means that it's not such a chore to stay under your cals and it makes it much more sustainable.

    - make a short term goal each week. Maybe choose 1 meal and commit to make a healthy choice every day. Next week pick another goal - maybe to exercise 30 mins every second day. Then to drink 8 glasses or water a day. Or replace one hi-cal coffee with a skinnier version. These small changes add up to good habits that you can keep on with and you get the satisfaction of seeing your acheivement each day.

    - don't expect everything to happen at once. Think of losing weight like growing your hair.... no matter how much you want it to happen overnight it's just not going to, but if you eat well and do some exercise you really will see changes.

    - get into the habit of logging your meals in MFP, even if it's not a really healthy eating day. Keep your diary private if that works better for you. Once you write things down it makes you more consious of the choices you are making.

    Good luck!
  • Trinity1982
    Trinity1982 Posts: 54
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    looking for the 'magic pill' in weight loss is so hard. you have to find things that work for you. if you love walking, go walking, if you love going to the gym, go there. seek out your favourite natural foods like apples, oranges, berries, tomatos etc and eat them over commercially packed junk. go to subway and get the wrap instead of the bread. you CAN do this and keep it off. every little change helps.

    keep your changes simple. even doing things one meal at a time can make a HUGE difference and you easily avoid burn out. you CAN do this!!!

    i was in your position only recently and i've learnt so many things in the past few months on here than i have over the past 10 years of learning about food choices. being discouraged with yourself is not a weakness, it's a sign that what you're trying to achieve isn't working the way your body wants to. making small changes like swapping a pack of chips for a piece of fruit and a musli bar will benefit you more than the empty cals in the chips! try with just 1 meal a day. you can also try the 'no food after ....' as that works for me (but not everyone). keep going - you'll find something that works for you!
  • itschristine
    itschristine Posts: 119 Member
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    check out my weekly goal - my profile section. it motivates me a lot seeing how much i can lose per week if i maintain my 1200 calories everyday.. it gets me excited =)
  • jenniejengin
    jenniejengin Posts: 785 Member
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    Bump to come back tomorrow to give input. Hang in there. Patience is key and I need to learn that as well.
  • tjradd73
    tjradd73 Posts: 3,495 Member
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    this is def not an easy journey...and it all about trial and error!!! do you know how many times i started a diet...only to fail and gain it all back?! A TON!!!

    you will get to a point, where not only your body is ready, but your mind will be ready for this journey too!! until then...all you can do is keep trying!! you will know when you are FULLY ready...it will just "click"...trust me...I know!!

    My "click" moment finally happened when I decided to get divorced back in Oct 2011...that's the point that I KNEW I was ready...and in fact WAS ready to just finish this already...and so I did!!

    you CAN and WILL do this...be patient, try to be consistent, and never give up (no matter how many times you fall off the wagon)!!
  • akiramezu
    akiramezu Posts: 278
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    How badly do you want it?
    Do you want it so bad that you’re willing
    To go through all the pain, heart ache and sacrifices?
    To go through those sleepless nights
    To wake up feeling like you dont want to go on no more
    To just quit, and return to being normal
    Because it’s hard, it’s always going to be hard
    And it’ll never get easier, ever!
    Because you got people who just say they want it
    And don’t ever do anything about it
    And others who want it so bad
    That it’s like oxygen to them
    That’s how badly they want it
    Because without it, they feel like they’re going to suffocate
    You gotta want it so bad that people think your crazy
    Because they dont understand
    They’ll never understand
    What it’s like to work hard and to make that commitment
    To create a better YOU
    So when you get to the point where you want to succeed
    As badly as you want to breathe
    Then, and ONLY then will you be able to succeed
    So you gotta dig deep down inside you
    And find it
    Find the reason why you want to do it
    Because really … that’s the only thing that should drive you
    That motive, Your motive, the only motive
    The thing that makes you
    Take that extra step, do that extra rep and train just a little while longer
    So ask yourself right now
    HOW BADLY DO YOU WANT IT?

    - Akiramezu
  • tjradd73
    tjradd73 Posts: 3,495 Member
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    ^^^couldn't have said it better myself!!! Thank you for sharing that...I am printing it for a constant reminder as we speak!!
  • queenpushycat
    queenpushycat Posts: 761 Member
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    How badly do you want it?
    Do you want it so bad that you’re willing
    To go through all the pain, heart ache and sacrifices?
    To go through those sleepless nights
    To wake up feeling like you dont want to go on no more
    To just quit, and return to being normal
    Because it’s hard, it’s always going to be hard
    And it’ll never get easier, ever!
    Because you got people who just say they want it
    And don’t ever do anything about it
    And others who want it so bad
    That it’s like oxygen to them
    That’s how badly they want it
    Because without it, they feel like they’re going to suffocate
    You gotta want it so bad that people think your crazy
    Because they dont understand
    They’ll never understand
    What it’s like to work hard and to make that commitment
    To create a better YOU
    So when you get to the point where you want to succeed
    As badly as you want to breathe
    Then, and ONLY then will you be able to succeed
    So you gotta dig deep down inside you
    And find it
    Find the reason why you want to do it
    Because really … that’s the only thing that should drive you
    That motive, Your motive, the only motive
    The thing that makes you
    Take that extra step, do that extra rep and train just a little while longer
    So ask yourself right now
    HOW BADLY DO YOU WANT IT?

    - Akiramezu
    He is a smart and wise young man. Listen to him :)
  • jingles47
    jingles47 Posts: 9 Member
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    Thinking positive helps. Take it one day at a time. It's your own personal journey and the one of the hardest things you'll achieve but it can happen. There are many road blocks in your way but keep going and do the best you can. Keep yourself busy and surround yourself with positive people. Healthy spirit , healthy body!
  • jenniejengin
    jenniejengin Posts: 785 Member
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    Try not to let your end result be your physical appearance and try to let it be the health benefits of it. Maybe that will work. I get discourage everytime I look in the mirror naked, but I keep telling myself, it is not how I look, it how I feel physically and that is what keeps me going. I usually give up because of lack of patience with the transformation. I like the fact that it gives me more energy, I feel stronger, mentally I feel and look better. When I workout, even though I may not see a difference, I feel it in my mind and no one can tell me diddlely, cause I know I look good. It is a mental thing for me.
  • FunandFitMom
    FunandFitMom Posts: 146 Member
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    Hey there...first - don't beat yourself up. It's destructive and just makes you feel worse. Think about the positives - what have you been able to accomplish? What feeling do you get from eating right? From exercising?

    I have trouble with accountability too. I know exactly what I should do to lose weight, eat healthier, and exercise right. I just don't do it. Sounds like you're in the same boat.

    Think of it this way....what goal do you want to achieve? How can you break it into small, manageable goals? And, how do you reward yourself for meeting those smaller goals?

    If you're up for it, I could use the support and someone to help me to be accountable for my weight loss/fitness journey and I'd be glad to do the same.
  • jingles47
    jingles47 Posts: 9 Member
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    It's hard because you are waiting for that one moment when someone notices and says something to you. I feel and look different, does anybody else see it? Not even my husband says anything. It is kind of discouraging but I realize he might not want me to change for his own reasons. Although I have only been trying to lose weight since January I wish I had some help. Luckily I have a positive spirit and see people worse off than me. I'll keep trying my best.
  • Zoeegirl
    Zoeegirl Posts: 100 Member
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    wow- I am overwhelmed by all of your kindness and support! Thank you all so much!!!:flowerforyou:
    I would love to have all of you for friends!! So if you are willing, please add me :bigsmile:
    I will work on small manageable goals and stay motivated and focus on why I want to lose weight.
    Thank you all again!!!!

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