FRUSTRATED!!

sheaz85
sheaz85 Posts: 56 Member
edited November 12 in Motivation and Support
So my boyfriend has decided to do this weight loss journey with me. I have been really diligent and focused. Anyway, long story short we've decided to weigh in on Monday's only. I weighed in at 174.6 last Monday...this past Monday i only had lost .5 lb!! He lost 7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so frustrated when i feel like i'm the one who is constantly working out. UGH!!!

Replies

  • wwww1199
    wwww1199 Posts: 228 Member
    5 lbs is AWESOME!! Good for your boyfriend too. Don't be frustrated. We all have a goal to achieve. My fiancee loses weight so much more easily than I do. I think it's a guy thing. Keep up the good work!
  • My husband has worked out maybe 3 times since New Years and given up fast food, he has lost 10 pounds.

    I have been doing the couch to 5K and have missed 1 workout in 11 weeks, so approx. 33 workouts. I have lost 8 pounds.
    I soooooo get what you mean. It kinda makes me want to cry.
  • sheaz85
    sheaz85 Posts: 56 Member
    My husband has worked out maybe 3 times since New Years and given up fast food, he has lost 10 pounds.

    I have been doing the couch to 5K and have missed 1 workout in 11 weeks, so approx. 33 workouts. I have lost 8 pounds.
    I soooooo get what you mean. It kinda makes me want to cry.

    I hear you! I just get so beat down when i feel like there's no effort on his part and i'm working my little (big) tail off!
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
    Men lose weight quicker and easier than women do (as a rule). So, don't compare yourself to his accomplishments. Be proud of your 5lb loss and his 7lb loss. Rejoice in both. Just keep in mind, our bodies work differently.


    Hang in there.
  • kreat
    kreat Posts: 136
    Well, I have been where you are, and I am still there. I've been told that women have a harder time losing the weight, but I have not confirmed this. I also have been frustrated at my weightloss. People lose weight differently then others. As long as you eat right, eat close to your recommended Caloric intake, and exercise, the weight will come off. It just might take you a little more time. .5 pounds is better than not losing anything at all. You should be proud of yourself. Now, your boyfriend might not be eating enough, or may have a higher metabolism. So he may be able to burn the weight off faster if he's doing the same exercising or maybe even a little less. Don't get frustrated. It will take you some time. I promise, and I'm sure I can say that for everyone on this site. Be patient. I have heard so many times that Slow and steady wins the race. Thats a true statement. I hope this helps and I hope this brightens your day. :)
  • tami101
    tami101 Posts: 617 Member
    I know what you mean, my boyfriend is not even on a diet and only eating healthier when he is with me and he has lost 9lbs.!!! So not fair that I have to do all this work and it just falls off him from eating better part of the time. Ughhhhh!
  • knittnponder
    knittnponder Posts: 1,953 Member
    My husband stopped eating cookies and lost 30 pounds. He never works out and doesn't watch what he eats. I have been logging and exercising for a long time and it's soooooooo much slower for me. You can't compare yourself to him. Men just seem to lose faster due to size and muscle. Hang in there.
  • sheaz85
    sheaz85 Posts: 56 Member
    My husband stopped eating cookies and lost 30 pounds. He never works out and doesn't watch what he eats. I have been logging and exercising for a long time and it's soooooooo much slower for me. You can't compare yourself to him. Men just seem to lose faster due to size and muscle. Hang in there.

    This made me giggle a little. Cookies? Really? This is the kind of stuff i'm talking about! One thing and they drop weight like that. It's crazy...making me crazy lol. Thanks for the kind words of encouragement :)
  • jcpmoore
    jcpmoore Posts: 796 Member
    There's also that thing called "beginner's loss." It's not uncommon for the person just starting out to lose a lot and then even out in a week or three. Take it easy and be glad to get that .5 lb. It's not much, but it's a .5 lb more than I get some weeks. Remember-your journey is separate from his.

    Meantime, can yours talk to mine? I WANT my husband to lose weight. He's about to drive me NUTS with his snoring from the extra weight. Ugh.

    hugs
  • jbella99
    jbella99 Posts: 596 Member
    Maybe It's just me but you posted that you lost 1/2 pound to his 7 correct??
  • ajz2010
    ajz2010 Posts: 23 Member
    So my boyfriend has decided to do this weight loss journey with me. I have been really diligent and focused. Anyway, long story short we've decided to weigh in on Monday's only. I weighed in at 174.6 last Monday...this past Monday i only had lost .5 lb!! He lost 7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so frustrated when i feel like i'm the one who is constantly working out. UGH!!!


    Girl I understand! My husband can THINK about losing weight and lose 10lbs! Just hang in there!
  • mckshowie
    mckshowie Posts: 210 Member
    don't sweat it. my fiance weighed in at 138lbs yesterday... while i hold steady at 143. and he's trying to gain weight. how do you feel? you should feel great about ANY weight loss. and ive been strength training so i feel like i could kick his @$$ anyway ;)
  • chell53
    chell53 Posts: 352 Member
    Don't be frustrated...........and did miss something............you stated you lost .5 (right, that is 1/2 lb or did you lose 5 lbs) either way it doesn't matter a lose is a lose.............men lose faster than us.............that is our curse..............lol

    Congrats to you BOTH and lots of luck.............
  • BruteSquad
    BruteSquad Posts: 373 Member
    This always confuses me.
    Unless you are in a competition with him. In which case I understand. But otherwise what does some number for him have to do with the number you have? I suspect you don't weigh the same as he does.

    Hmm, that may sound harsh, it isn't meant to be. What I am trying to say is that you aren't in a competition with him. Or anyone for that matter. Cheer him on, take joy in it. His losing weight does not take away from your loss. If you lost 2 lbs and he lost 1lb, would he feel the same? I hope not.

    Enjoy that you have earned each oz that you loose. No one can take that away from you.
  • Graciecny
    Graciecny Posts: 302 Member
    OP, I totally feel your pain. I have been relentless in trying to stay within my calories and exercising every day. My hubby OTOH watched me do this for weeks and went "hey, I'll do that" and dropped about 10 pounds effortlessly. Every single pound takes hard work for me, and 10 was a HUGE victory. For him it was like "meh". :mad: :explode:

    Seriously, though, while I wish it were easy and fair (whatever the heck that is), it doesn't seem to work that way. Please don't let it get you down. You aren't the only one, and...can I just say how frustrating it is to see his calorie allowance. He showed me one day and I almost flipped. I'd kill for those calories...almost. :laugh:

    Worst case, just be sure to leave Girlscout cookies where he can find them. :laugh: Seriously, I bought ordered two boxes before starting this journey and when they came I had *one* thin mint and that was it. DH ate the rest - ALL the rest. And still lost weight. :grumble:

    ETA: the cookie thing was a joke...just wanted to make sure it didn't read like I was trying to sabotage my hubby! He found them, wanted them, ate them.
  • stormieweather
    stormieweather Posts: 2,549 Member
    I have the opposite problem in my house. I lose more than my partner, even though I only have 15 to go and he has 80. I no longer tell him my weight, just ask his and cheer him on for every tiny loss.

    But then, he has insulin issues and I've gotten mine under control. So it is possible that you have a metabolic issue?
  • farmboyphotography
    farmboyphotography Posts: 181 Member
    You didn't gain the weight overnight and no matter how hard you work out, you cannot lose it overnight either. Don't lose any sleep worrying that you and your mate are losing weight at different rates. You are two different people so that is completely normal.

    I've been an MFP member for over a year, but I wasn't committed to fitness until a month ago. My weight hasn't changed much at all since I got serious about getting fit. I do 30 minutes of strength training and 45 minutes of cardio 4-5 days a week. But I am not too concerned about the fact my weight hasn't dropped one bit in the last week. Why? My clothes are fitting better and I have much more energy than I did a month ago. As I ramp up my strength training, I know that the weight will come off. Meanwhile, I feel better.

    Celebrate your daily and weekly accomplishments and you will soon find yourself celebrating bigger victories!
  • one thing you have to remember is and I know its frustrated to hear, is that it is harder for women to lose weight than it is for men.
    My husband and I work out together and I noticed when we are on the treadmill if I up my speed to 3.5 he will go to 3.7. It use to frustrate me because its like he always had to challenge me but after a while its like well you do what you want I'll do what I can but the thing is it comes down to. It doesnt matter how fast I go its that I am doing it and it makes me feel better than sitting on the couch doing nothing. Stick with it and it will happen.
  • sheaz85
    sheaz85 Posts: 56 Member
    Yes it was a 1/2 lb not 5 lbs...thats why it's really frustrating lol.
  • sheaz85
    sheaz85 Posts: 56 Member
    There's also that thing called "beginner's loss." It's not uncommon for the person just starting out to lose a lot and then even out in a week or three. Take it easy and be glad to get that .5 lb. It's not much, but it's a .5 lb more than I get some weeks. Remember-your journey is separate from his.

    Meantime, can yours talk to mine? I WANT my husband to lose weight. He's about to drive me NUTS with his snoring from the extra weight. Ugh.

    hugs

    HAHA yes he can! :)
  • sheaz85
    sheaz85 Posts: 56 Member
    This always confuses me.
    Unless you are in a competition with him. In which case I understand. But otherwise what does some number for him have to do with the number you have? I suspect you don't weigh the same as he does.

    Hmm, that may sound harsh, it isn't meant to be. What I am trying to say is that you aren't in a competition with him. Or anyone for that matter. Cheer him on, take joy in it. His losing weight does not take away from your loss. If you lost 2 lbs and he lost 1lb, would he feel the same? I hope not.

    Enjoy that you have earned each oz that you loose. No one can take that away from you.

    We don't weight the same, i do weigh less but it's just even as a % i'm going so much slower than he is :)
  • wvtracyann
    wvtracyann Posts: 95 Member
    I feel your pain my Husbad is small we are both 5'4 but I have main weighed 150 were he has always been like 134 and can eat anything he wants. I hate that have to watch everything that I eat and work my butt of to lose a pound a week while he eats Mcdonald's and does nothing special to stay the same weight!
  • I deffinitly feel your frustration on this topic! My fiance and I are trying to get into shape, we have both made some lifestyle changes (me much more than him) and within the last month he has lost a little over 10 pounds and I have gained 3! It's very discouraging and I myself am having a hard time keeping my motivation up so if you find a good way to keep up the hard work no matter how discouraging it gets let me know how you do it! :smile:
  • sschmidt928
    sschmidt928 Posts: 39 Member
    Hang in there, girl. My hubs is the saaaaaaame way. The man can drop pounds almost by looking at lettuce, and I fight for every pound down. But you know what, that man is hanging by my side cheering on every victory no matter how small. He'll slow down his runs to stay beside me, then head on out alone after I'm done (which is totally OK by me, btw). I hope your guy is the same way.
    You are doing something good for you, so don't let those numbers bother you. You WILL see a difference - just stick with it.
  • Dont be flusterated... It is a guy thang.... thay loose quicker and easier than we do ... just isnt far !!
  • Ladies, men lose weight lots faster. Completely different muscle/fat build. Do not get frustrated. You are doing a fabulous job! Keep up the good work!
  • ckdub428
    ckdub428 Posts: 453 Member
    pretend its the Biggest Loser and don't look at numbers. Look at percentage. you don't weigh the same so he's going to lose "more" some weeks.

    Also I find that my husband loses faster, but I lose more consistently.

    Just keep going!!!
  • Tlively13
    Tlively13 Posts: 57 Member
    Men have a higher metabolism rate than women, so therefore they will loose faster in comparision. Maybe you should compare bmi instead of pound per pound..
  • Thank you for that. I have been at this (without cheating!!) for 18 days and I've lost only a single sad little pound. I want to see more for my effort. I'm convinced there is a formula for this and I just haven't found it yet - and each person is different. Everyone can't lose weight using the 1200 calorie benchmark - that's vanilla in a world of 31 flavors.
  • Shamrock_me
    Shamrock_me Posts: 161
    I totally get what you are saying - but have you made sure that *you* are eating enough? Every now and then as I go along, get more active with the weather being warmer here, working on house projects, etc, that my caloric needs aren't the same as they were say mid-winter stuck indoors at a desk all day at work, but I'm still eating 1200 calories and that isn't enough.
    If you're not taking in enough calories, your body conserves them because it is in starvation mode.
    I had a week of no weight loss, not an ounce, tacked on 200 more calories and lost 2lbs in 4 days.
    The more active you are... the more you need to eat to lose weight.
    The better I eat the more weight I lose. There's a difference between 200 calories of chicken, veggies, fruits than a 200 calories of ice cream.
    Take a few days and add in some good calories while monitoring your weight.
    Also, when do you weigh in? Water weight is a real problem for me so I weigh in at morning when its low. Sometimes we retain 2-7 lbs of water weight alone at the end of the day. And weighing in at morning time is like a little pick me up. I call it 'false bouyancy' but if it makes me feel better about my effort so be it. Keep trying and Stay Positive!!!!
    ~~~Good Luck!! :flowerforyou:
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