Ready to throw in the towel, at the worst possible time

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maria_ferrari
maria_ferrari Posts: 20 Member
in Motivation and Support
It's at the point where I need to be losing the weight the most as my deadlines are quickly approaching, and also at the point where every time I step on the scale I weigh the same or more and want to just cry. Not good for motivation. . .
I'm up to 150.4 lbs. . . I was down to 147 a couple of weeks ago... so I'm up 3.4 lbs in a matter of 2 weeks of less and now 30.4 lbs - 35.4 lbs away from my goal.... of which 10lbs needs to be gone in the next month or so for engagement pictures. . . I'm still breastfeeding and can't really diet... I'm literally discouraged, disappointed, and in tears. . .

All this makes me wonder if everyone was right when they told me (while still pregnant) that I would never get down to what I was.
I want to feel pretty again, to be able to wear the clothes in my closet, to have things to wear when I go to work or go out somewhere.

With working again, I'm getting more exercise than I had previously. I waitress and go nonstop for 4 or more hours at a time burning on average around 800 calories a night. I work three to four nights a week. Previously, I sat in the house and hung out with my little one.

So how is it that I'm moving around more and gaining more weight? And right as I need to be losing the most. . . I shouldn't be anywhere near my plateau yet. My body in the past has plateaued at 145 and 130.... I was expecting to have another 5 - 15 lbs to be down before hitting my depressed stop....

Additionally, I'm still struggling with what to do in regards to the apps I use. I use MFP, Calorie Counter, & My Net Diary.... Each has things that I like about them. MFP being my favorite with Calorie Counter coming in second. It has a weekly goal/ achievement feature that I really REALLY like. Where My Net Diary has a really good analysis feature. . .

I've failed to find many motivational support on any so far and wonder if it has anything to do with that fact that I am primarily on my phone and cannot post in forums....

I'm in serious need of getting out of this funk. I welcome all advice, friend additions, motivations, & suggestions.....


HELP????? PLEASE

A desparate new mommy of an 8 month old, future bride (Oct) , and individual with a plummeiting self-esteem


Thank you in advance .... for at the very least listening to my rant....

Maria soon to be Ferrari .....

Replies

  • mountaingirl222
    mountaingirl222 Posts: 88
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    Have you measured yourself? How are your clothes fitting? I just ask because as the scale isnt moving for me my measurements have gone down. Do you do any workouts other than work itself?
  • Alexstrasza
    Alexstrasza Posts: 619 Member
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    I am at the point where I feel like giving up. The thing that I have to remember, and that people keep saying is "It took years to get to the point you are now. It's not going to change over night."

    Just keep working hard!
  • maria_ferrari
    maria_ferrari Posts: 20 Member
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    My measurements are similar to what they have been. . . Clothes are baggier since I am down 15lbs already but still have quite a bit to go... since I've been down the lbs though, there isn't much change.... it's frustrating....


    Good luck with your goals and congrats on your achievements so far!
  • newnormal2010
    newnormal2010 Posts: 61
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    If you're suddenly burning an extra 800 calories a day, without changing your intake, you might be eating too little. This can prompt your metabolism to slow down to conserve what it has. (This is sometimes called "starvation mode," but I think that "conservation mode" might be a better name.) It's hard to eat more when you want the scale to go down, but sometimes that's what your body needs.
  • mountaingirl222
    mountaingirl222 Posts: 88
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    Also how is your eating? I know your breastfeeding but what you are consuming could be part of the problem. Dont give up! Its hard to lose weight. Its harder to lose baby weight in my opinion as I have 2 kids and am still struggling to get the weight off. Also, as a aspiring photographer, I have found when shooting portraits, a photographer can position you in a way to make you feel more confident with your weight. Tell them you feel a little big and they should be able to minimize in your eyes the, your "weight problem"
  • igora_soma
    igora_soma Posts: 486
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    There will be times when it is tough. You are trying and that is what matters most! Like someone above said. Take measurements too! That might be working more than you think. Just keep logging, measure and maybe only weigh yourself once a week or once every two weeks.

    It is frustrating, but with perseverance you will get there!!
  • tdmcmains
    tdmcmains Posts: 227 Member
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    Oh, hun, you sound so very sad. But please don't give up. You can do it. I am about the same weight as you right about now. I've been at this for about a year, a little more, actually. I hit plateaus a LOT. Like... all along. Maybe I'm just weird but I would lose a few pounds, then stay the same for 3 or 4 or 5 weeks and then wake up one day and be down 3 pounds. It was odd, but probably just one of those things and perfectly normal. In the meantime, though, i was getting more energy and liking what I saw in the mirror a little bit more... so I think maybe the number of the scale doesn't always reflect what is goign on.
    You know you can do this... and it's for life. It's not a "well, I reached a number so I'm done" kind of thing. So keep doing what you're doing and I know you will see the results you want.
  • mountaingirl222
    mountaingirl222 Posts: 88
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    P.S. I looked at your pics and you look AMAZING for having a baby 8 months ago!!!!
  • Ladyiianae
    Ladyiianae Posts: 271 Member
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    You have found NO support on MFP? I'm so sad to hear this as everyone I've ever encountered has been wonderfully supportive as we've all be bobbing in the same boat.

    I will send you a friend request, I would love to help be supportive for you.

    I have no "words of wisdom" other than don't give up. It is a slow process and weight loss is by NO means "linear". My actual weight loss graph looks more like a heart rate monitor on an EKG machine. The one take away is that even my "up" days aren't has high as before and my "low" days are lower than before...it's all about trend.

    I would suggest you take your measurments, continue to track and work, make sure you are eating enough and drinking plenty of water. In time, it will pay off. The one caveat to that is...it may be in your "BODY'S" time...not the time YOU would like.

    Hang in there!!
  • kent4j
    kent4j Posts: 391 Member
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    After I had given birth to my kids I was going through the same thing as you. My Dr. checked my thyroid levels and discovered I had an under active thyroid. They say in females major life changes sometimes bring this on like babies or menopause. Just a thought but don't give up because all the healthy things you are doing have their rewards even though you are not seeing it on the scale right now. Good luck in all the happy things that are going on in your life right now.
  • maria_ferrari
    maria_ferrari Posts: 20 Member
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    As far as the workouts, I try to take my little guy for walks in his stroller when the weather permits and do the Wii Fit when he allows me to have the time. I know part of my problem with working now and just in general is eating late. With my fiance and my schedule it is often hard for us to eat dinner at a reasonable time. . . that is one thing I wish MFP had that one of my other apps has is where you can add the time you ate your meal ...

    Thank you all so much for the support. . . sometimes the slumps can get the best of your mental state....
  • elwinberry
    elwinberry Posts: 25
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    You need to refigure you calories. Your life style has changed dramaticly. Your working and breastfeed. Beleive it or not you burn calories breastfeeding. You may not be eating enough. Your body maybe wanting to hold on to the fat. You need calories to burn. And of course most important Water,water,water. I know that always sounds backwards to eat more calories to loose weight but it does work. When it has calrioes to burn it keeps the metabolism going. It will slow down and not burn the same if it doesn't. Try that maybe and see how it goes. Friend me and keep me up dated. That way if it does, or doesn't work I can be there for support. But ive been working with a trainer and he has proved it to me. Good luck on your journey.
  • anolan807
    anolan807 Posts: 273 Member
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    I would tell you just to keep working. You are doing a lot right now and stress can make you old weight as well. So just keep pushing along. If you need support you could add me as a friend. I love to support people on their journeys. Sometimes I support more then I succeed myself..
  • lori1620
    lori1620 Posts: 3 Member
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    Sometimes once you reach a certain spot your fat is turning into muscle, and muscle weighs more then fat, so while it seems you are not losing or putting on a few pounds it is actually a great transition for you, it is toning up your body changing to muscle. Dont be discouraged measure you self instead of weighing in on the scale waist, hips and neck, dont know if you did this at the begining to compare or not but this is something to think about, as long as you do you calories and continue to watch what you is most important, if you give in and throw in the towel you will for sure see a change in your weight!!! Hope this helps and good luck DONT GIVE UP JUST YET!!! Just stick to your calorie goals and maybe cut down on the carbs even more for a week!!!
  • elwinberry
    elwinberry Posts: 25
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    You can change the settings to where its tomes of day instead of breakfast, lunch and dinner.
  • ahmommy
    ahmommy Posts: 316 Member
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    I'm assuming that you're feeding your baby solid foods now, so you need to account for 300 calories burned per day for breastfeeding. If you're doing that, burning 800 calories a day just doing your job, plus exercising, it seems unlikely to me that you're eating enough. Try to incorporate healthy sources of calories in your diet - avocado, nuts, olive oil, etc.

    Your body will hang onto your fat stores if you're not eating enough. This effect is magnified when you're nursing. I'm in a similar situation. I'm exclusively breastfeeding my 5 week old. I started tracking my calories yesterday and I realized that I'm eating too few calories to meet a goal of losing 1 lb a week, not even netting 1200 calories a day when I account for 500 calories burned when exclusively nursing. I'm trying to add a few things in to see if the scale will start moving again.

    Hang in there, you can do it! Try to make it the computer so that you can get the support you need in the forums, I think that will help.
  • maria_ferrari
    maria_ferrari Posts: 20 Member
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    Did not know that about the times of day... I use the app on the phone mostly so it's always cool to learn new features. . . I still really wish it had the achievements and goals like Calorie counter does (it's also free and online but it's so hard to keep up with 3 food apps when motivation starts to go by the way side. . . )
  • TinaDay1114
    TinaDay1114 Posts: 1,328 Member
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    Having a new baby at home (AND an upcoming wedding) is a lot of changes at one time -- in your life, your stress, AND in your body! Don't give up! But don't put so much pressure on yourself all at once, either.

    I have 2 boys at home (4 and 8 yrs. old) and after each baby, it took me about 1 1/2 - 2 years before my body re-adjusted -- I was "able" to work out after about 5-6 months, but my body could not really "perform" and "push" like I wanted to until much later. And my body certainly didn't "respond" to that hard work until some real time had gone by.

    Remember that pregnancy lasts 9 whole months, and when you add breastfeeding on top of that, it can be almost a year or more! Your body is performing hormonally and otherwise in service to that baby. That means your hormones are still crazy, your metabolism is strange, your thyroid is doing weird things, and your body is still producing milk and trying to shed all that "stuff" that it needed for pregnancy.

    That's not to say that what you're trying to do cannot help -- exercise and watching your diet always helps, esp. with stress! But you probably need to let your body "settle" back into itself before trying to get into a serious weight loss / exercise regime. Your body may just be fighting itself right now, because it's trying to play "MOM."

    I also say this because I went through the SAME feelings as you did, even after my 2nd baby. Sometimes it's easier to beat ourselves up for what's NOT happening, unfortunately. You've put your body through a lot having that cute boy, and you look FANTASTIC for only being 5 months out. You'll get there. It just might be a slower journey than you thought.

    Hang in there, girl!! You're looking good. And stick w/MFP. :wink: We kinda like you here. :happy:
  • TIDDYBEAR
    TIDDYBEAR Posts: 63 Member
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    For me the best motivation is trying on my "fat" clothes that don't fit anymore. Makes me think "I will NOT gain this weight back".
    Plus I have some clothes that don't "quite" fit and they are a goal to me to MAKE then fit! I have a pair of jeans that I bought when they lacked about an inch to fasten. They are loose now. Try that for motivation!

    Jan

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