Sick of chasing down people to be my gym buddy!

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cardiokitten
cardiokitten Posts: 401 Member
in Motivation and Support
I find that when I have a friend to go with me, I'm so much more apt to go to the gym, stay there longer, and work out harder. But all my friends are constantly turning me down, it's so frustrating.

The friend who got me to go in the first place works weird hours that don't sync up with mine and when we do go, she wants to leave after half an hour...(and she's usually my ride so I have to leave when she does) she already lost over 100lbs so she has no real motivation to go because she looks the way she wants to now.

My other friend is in college and lives too far away to justify coming regularly.

A work buddy CONSTANTLY is talking about how much she hates her body and how she needs to lose weight, I'm sitting here, all week, EVERY day asking, "Do you want to go?" and there's always an excuse. I'm sorry, but how can you constantly talk about how unhappy you are and how much you want to lose weight and yet you need to run errands and can't find just one hour after work to come with your friend who clearly would love to go and motivate someone else to lose weight with her.

And my boyfriend, who made it crystal clear he really doesn't want to go is always telling me, "I don't want to go, I don't feel good." and he also has no motivation, he looks good on the outside, so he thinks that's good enough for now. I really want him to get up and go with me, but he is like stone on the gym decision, he is not budging.


I'm just so darn sick and unmotivated by people turning me down! It makes me want to not go at all! Don't get me wrong, I always feel great after I get a workout in, but going there by myself ALL the time is really making me frustrated. I only worked out 2 times this week when I know I could have done 5 times, and I feel really guilty that I let other people's shunning get to me :(

Advice?

Replies

  • astrampe
    astrampe Posts: 2,169 Member
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    YOU want to do it, so just DO it! It is not anybody else's responsibility, it is YOURS.....
    So without trying to be rude, just stop blaming others for your not working out and suck it up- go work out on your own....:flowerforyou:
  • erineddy81
    erineddy81 Posts: 43 Member
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    Yeah...it can be nice to have someone to go with. But it seems all the people i know either dont like the gym, or say they want to but are to flaky to actually follow through. And alas, my hubby wont go either. I always get so jealous when i see other couples there :( Oh well...I would suggest if you go at a certain time pretty daily, you will also find there are probably other regulars at the gym at the same time you are. Maybe you could strike up a conversation with them...Just start by telling them how awesome they are :) I love my gym rat buddies :D
  • JimandLin
    JimandLin Posts: 76 Member
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    I joined a gym in January and have made alot of friends. Once in a while I just start asking questions about how to do a certain machine and everyone is ready to help, and turned into some great friendships.
  • 7funnygirl7
    7funnygirl7 Posts: 1,176
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    If you want something done, and done right.....ya gotta do it yourself!! Go it alone girl~ :smile:
  • fallenangelloves
    fallenangelloves Posts: 601 Member
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    This is why I exercise at home,... I don't have any excuses to not work out and lone ok e to blame but myself.... I understand a workout buddy makes it better, but my kids and husband have become my cheering section!
  • melanielockard
    melanielockard Posts: 114 Member
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    i know how you feel, i was trying to get a gym buddy and finally gave up and started going at 5am and enjoy the quiet time, now i am looking for a 5k and warrior dash buddy but not having any luck!
  • pomme100
    pomme100 Posts: 5
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    I was in a similar situation and, once you get used to it, it isn't all that bad. I found I could get a much better workout when I was there myself and set my own schedule/time limits. If you are a regular, you may even meet new 'gym' friends and you won't feel so alone. But you have to make the decision that you can do this yourself. Though they may not say it, they will probably wish they had gone with you. Stop listening to the excuses from them and yourself. Enjoy the workout and time to yourself. :flowerforyou:
  • tsh0ck
    tsh0ck Posts: 1,970 Member
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    I work out for me. not for anyone else. and when I'm there, my ear buds are in and I'm not listening to or talking to anyone else, either. so if I went with someone, I'd just be ignoring them until I was done.

    I go six days a week. there are days I really don't want to. I make myself go. and, when I'm done, I don't regret the decision. after a few months, it becomes habit. then you feel weird when you don't go.
  • yesthistime
    yesthistime Posts: 2,051 Member
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    I'm sure someone said this already, but sometimes the best gym buddies are the ones you meet when you're at the gym.
  • neverstray
    neverstray Posts: 3,845 Member
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    Wow. I cannot relate. To me, working out is private. Not private as in, I don't want to do it in public. But, it's just a personal thing to me. I don't get the social connection with it. I know people do that, and there's running groups and all kinds of things like that. It trips me out because, as I said, there's nothing social about it. I tune out and focus on me for an hour. I used to hate when someone at the gym would start talking to me. I would think, shut the f*** up and go work out, that's why we're here. Anyways, I would not rely on others for my health and well being. No one cares like you do about yourself.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
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    I go by myself and don't worry about whether anyone else comes or not. Well, I do like to see my crush there, but he's not the reason I go every day.
  • Nucky719
    Nucky719 Posts: 143
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    Get you some earphones and go to work girl!
  • EBFNP
    EBFNP Posts: 529 Member
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    I used to have friends in college go with me, but its almost as if I have to babysit or force them to go. Just can't tolerate it. Honestly, I rather just account for myself and not worry about someone else or whether or not they will show up.
  • KristenStone
    KristenStone Posts: 106 Member
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    Totally feel ya! I personally have encouraged people to hit the gym with me but no one ever does and that's cool with me. I'm doing this for myself!

    My biggest problem is I signed up for my first ever 5K with obstacles in October and I only recruited my sister who lives in another state! I wish I had more people to do it with but whatever.

    I live away from my family because of work and other than that, I have no friends! (Not cuz i'm a mean girl, just a single momma who never gets out!)

    Its a lonely road but I've adapted to doing this myself and its really working out!
  • robin49505
    robin49505 Posts: 38 Member
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    Just do it girl! You never can count on others to help fulfill your goals - don't let them stop you! I go to the gym 3-4 times a week and don't know anyone - but I'm certainly motivated once I'm there! Good luck to ya!
  • bobie1978
    bobie1978 Posts: 204 Member
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    I've tried having a workout buddy too! It never seemed to work... if they go they go if not make sure you still go! I usually workout alone now.
  • iamstaceywood
    iamstaceywood Posts: 383 Member
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    Get a good playlist, and pretend you love to go alone. Enjoy the solitude. When people ask if you want a gym buddy, pretend you HATE having to bring someone. Just love it for you.
  • meeulk
    meeulk Posts: 246 Member
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    I originally started going with some neighbors that were doing weight watchers and walking on the treadmill at zero incline 3 times a week for an hour. After about 2 weeks of that I decided that wasn't enough for me and started to do strength training and serious incline on the treadmill which takes longer than an hour. I see them there sometimes, but I feel really good about doing what I want (and need) to do!

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