Feeling Pretentious
whiterice83
Posts: 54 Member
Does anyone else feel snobbish or pretentious when out to eat?
Yesterday, I went out to eat with 3 of my friends. They all drank, got their meals etc. I got my meal, put half of it in a to-go box so I wouldn't be tempted, downed water. None of them said anything of course, but it just felt like they wanted me to let loose like they were.
Or at work they all got Jimmy Johns and I altered my order to where I was happy, or the first date I went on last week where I told the waitress what I wanted with removals or substitutions. I saw a look from my date, like "really?" but right now I know this is a battle I'm fighting with myself and I'm taking control to change it.
I'm sure it's in my head, but does anyone else feel like this too?
Yesterday, I went out to eat with 3 of my friends. They all drank, got their meals etc. I got my meal, put half of it in a to-go box so I wouldn't be tempted, downed water. None of them said anything of course, but it just felt like they wanted me to let loose like they were.
Or at work they all got Jimmy Johns and I altered my order to where I was happy, or the first date I went on last week where I told the waitress what I wanted with removals or substitutions. I saw a look from my date, like "really?" but right now I know this is a battle I'm fighting with myself and I'm taking control to change it.
I'm sure it's in my head, but does anyone else feel like this too?
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Replies
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I'd imagine pretentious to be like the people that order coffee with skim whip, double frappe, sugar free mocha, double backflipped on a recycled paper fiber cup, no plastic ....sort of thing.
I've had dates order with a huge list of subs and they just sort of came across pretentious
Everyone else I go out with knows I'm trying to lose weight, so they understand if I do quirky things.0 -
I wouldn't call it snobbish at all. This is a lifestyle change that you (and me, and and the rest of us) are are all having to make to lose weight and focus on better health. Alterations and substitutions to food come with the territory for the most part when dining out.
Having worked in restaurants as a waitress in the past, I always let my server know up front that I will be drinking lots of water throughout "our dining adventure" and always use "May I have...(dressing on the side, this instead of this.. or whatever), pleases and thank yous to help lessen what may be construed as pretentiousness from other people.
Some people will never "get it" ( by "it" I mean- the reason for making requests for different things with food) unless they are on a fitness journey for themselves. Just remember you can't change the way other people think. It's about you, your health, and happiness! : )0 -
Yes, I get that feeling often when I am out to eat, which is nearly every day.
I won't eat food that I think is horrible for me unless it is absolutely delicuous.0 -
If you think you're bad, have a look into my evil soul...on the occasions when I know I am going to eat out or socialize with family and/or friends, I plan for it in advance, if at all possible. Killer am workout, super trim breakfast and lunch...the whole nine yards...just so that when I am eating with some of my worst former critics, I can really indulge and watch them all wonder "how the heck is she getting so fit and losing weight acting like Miss Piggy coming off a hunger strike? Bwaaaahaaaahaaaa...sick I know, but this satisfies me on a very basic level...0
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I wouldn't feel pretentious at all. For example, I went to a Happy Hour Thursday with a co-worker. Worked 2 beers into my food diary from the beginning of the day. He commented that I have willpower to not eat the $5 appetizers and instead order a $9 veggie burger (and not eat the bun!). I said 'It's like this. I could eat the $5 appetizers like you, but I choose to be thin. I know that if I eat that grease ridden food I'll get fat again. You might be able to eat that stuff and stay thin but I can't. I know that and I've accepted it. And so should you". I think he respected the fact that I know who I am and what I need.
It doesn't make you any more fun, funny, enjoyable, friendly, etc to eat and drink like it's going out of style. If your friends are really your friends they will accept the fact that you are trying to better yourself. You aren't pushing your new lifestyle on them and telling them they should do as you do.
And you should never think you are inconviencing waitstaff and cooks with your "subs". You aren't the only one that does that, trust me.0 -
I just respect that you can go out on a date or with friends, watch them merrily eat and drink and not only control yourself, but refrain from whining about what you can't have. I'm sort of embarrassed, but I can't do that yet. There are certain things I won't even allow in my house, like Coke. I'm already stressed about Easter.
So be proud of your discipline and remember that a lot of people respect those who know what they want and aren't afraid to ask for it.0 -
It's not pretentious. I've worked in restaurants and it's fine to change the order to fit your needs. I am polite about it, but I generally don't order anything from a menu without some changes. My coworkers are used to that now. LOL0
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Pretentious Moi??0
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If you think you're bad, have a look into my evil soul...on the occasions when I know I am going to eat out or socialize with family and/or friends, I plan for it in advance, if at all possible. Killer am workout, super trim breakfast and lunch...the whole nine yards...just so that when I am eating with some of my worst former critics, I can really indulge and watch them all wonder "how the heck is she getting so fit and losing weight acting like Miss Piggy coming off a hunger strike? Bwaaaahaaaahaaaa...sick I know, but this satisfies me on a very basic level...
^^ This. Oh, yes... 100% this. :devil:0 -
I'd say it's about the attitude that people do this. If one is making a big deal about it with a "I'm better than you " behavior then I'd say it's rude/irritating/ pretentious. I'm not saying you did this, but can't tell from your post.0
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Personally, I think it is normal, all though my perspective is different. My dad is the world's pickiest restaurant eater, and my sister and I inherited his pickiness. Sometimes I think servers want to run when we show up at the table. :P
Ordering was a 10 minute process. After a lifetime of hearing my dad say things like "I only want brown gravy, can you give me the definition of medium on your kitchen, swap the potatoes for rice, bring the sauce from this other dish on the side for me....." anyone's preference will seem normal in my book.
I've already been asking for plain, no sauce or sauce on the side since I was 6. What's a few extra requests on the grand scheme of things. (Please, thank you and generous tips ease the annoyance factor)0 -
:laugh: love the response...planned all day to eat my face off and enjoy.LOL tee hee
But with out a plan ordered appropriately, and like a responsibile adult (not just to me but for on lookers too)0 -
I dont think you are!! Over the last year, my biggest obstcles were my wife, family and friends trying to persuade me to break my diet or drink alot of beers. I always just responded to them that they wouldnt hand someone trying to quit smoking a cigarette or an alcoholic beer and coax them to smoke or drink it would you?0
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