I'm sorry I just need to rant...

I read this recently on a wise young woman's profile:

"Don't ever let someone tell you that you can't do something. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. When people can't do something themselves, they're gonna tell you that you can't do it. You want something, you go get it!!"

One great thing about growing up is that you get to decide who is in your life and who is not.

Just because you are genetically linked to a person does not mean you have to respect , care or deal with them. I have never understood the concept of "blood is thicker than water" or "I love them because they are family"

If they are a douche bag *kitten* hat then they are a douche bag *kitten* hat. Why waste your time on their inability to co exist with you ? Move on as soon as you can, find some motivation to get out.

Unfortunately a lot of parents feel that the mere act of giving birth to you and or being a sperm donor somehow entitles them to respect...

As someone who is old enough to be your mother please allow me to say how proud I am of you. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Think of how many lives you will change with your chosen path. The positive impact you will have on people will be mind blowing. Congratulations.

I would encourage you to do whatever you can to be on your own. You know your circumstances best but I hope you are able to find a way.

Take care

Time for you to mentally remove this negative person from your life. I understand you still must live with her but try to do your own thing. No need to include her in your accomplishments, you know you are doing awesome, just continue to do what makes you happy and move on.

Please rant all you want. It helps. I was raised under the same circumstances and I let it affect my life and it still does to this day. It made me a stronger person but also in the same breath it made me weak. I spend the last 3 decades trying to make somebody happy that clearly never will be and no matter what I did it was never as good as what my brother did .. ( he is unemployed, and alcoholic and drug addict) I have 2 degrees and am self employed, yet somehow I am still and always will be a failure. It is the hardest thing to overcome but with help from a trained professional counselor and some great friends, you can learn to still love your mom but not let her affect your life. if you would like to talk please don't hesitate to message me .

Just ignore her - she's one jealous mom because you're achieving something that she hasn't perhaps? Well done for getting 100% in a exam btw!

Look at your mother's life - has she really achieved anything, does she go out to work? (I don't mean that horribly, but if she's been stuck in the house day in day out she may resent the fact)!

Look to good friends for inspiration if you're not getting it at home and you do what you want to do - it's your life so you have to do what YOU want to - your mother can't live your life for you, ultimately...

Okay so pretty much my mum is not the most ahem supportive person in the world.
I will get an award, eg I got 100% on my first exam and she just says "oh well your brother got 110% with extra credit." For xmas I bought myself a dress to show off my new figure and she told me that I looked fat. My brother used to physically abuse me really bad and she would tell me that it was my fault. EVERYTHING is my fault. According to her 9/11 was my fault... when I was like 10 years old in australia at the time?! okie. I get called names like selfish ***** and cow constantly and when I try to talk to her about it she just turns it around on me and tries to say that if I wasn't such a ***** I wouldn't be getting called one. She also told me that she wished that she had stayed in jail rather than me being born... umm okay love you too :L

Just today though, she told me that the job I want to do should not even be counted as a real job it is so "pathetic". Umm are you kidding :S I am studying to become a Certified Personal Trainer and ever since I have overcome my depression and figured out what I wanna do and become a lot happier within the past year, she has started being completely unbearable. She used to be "okay" but now she is getting worse as she sees me succeeding in life.

This is major emotional abuse. No wonder you were depressed.
Your mom sounds like a narcissist. And those people tend to never change.
In order to maintain your success and sanity you might need to put some distance between the two of you. :frown:

I feel for you - as a mother of four grown up kids, I just can not get why some people are like your mother - it is alien to me, but I know as other posters have said, that some people just should not be parents. You sound like you have pretty much sorted your life, your goals, and you are achieving them, so just try and not get emotionally involved with her games.

I do know that when I was having trouble dealing with one of my daughters, the paediatrician said "Be the person you want her to be" and it worked. I wonder if that would work in reverse and you treat your mother the way you want her to treat you? Or if that doesn't work, just give her the "brick wall' treatment - this one is my own devising - you have some people in your life that will never be caring of you, no matter how much you try. They are like a brick wall - they cannot bend, move, care, or change. So you just walk alongside that wall, don't waste emotional energy on it, you can echo repsonses if the wall talks to you "hello" - hello that sort of thing. Mind you I have not had to try this with a family member, but it helped me with very difficult people in my working life - and it worked.

Take care, eat well and exercise, study hard, save your money and plan for the day when you can leave and become the butterfly you can be :flowerforyou:

I read this recently on a wise young woman's profile:

"Don't ever let someone tell you that you can't do something. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. When people can't do something themselves, they're gonna tell you that you can't do it. You want something, you go get it!!"

One great thing about growing up is that you get to decide who is in your life and who is not.

So true and I never said I was giving up on my dreams cos of her it just pisses me off.

The only probem is that I cannot afford to move out right now or else I would. I have moved out once before but due to circumstances had to move back. >.<

I am in the same position nearly, apart from my parents aren't so bad, they just don't seem really bothered by anything I do at all. I'm also training to be a certified personal trainer and am 3/4 of the way through the level 2 gym instructor course.

I also live back at home because of circumstances and would give anything to be back in my old house on my own again.

Feel free to friend me if you like. Either way keep hold of your dreams and follow them, you pave the way for your own future and you don't want to be full of what ifs and if onlys

Sometimes it is okay to burn bridges, even with family. I can't imagine being treated like this by my own mother, and I don't think I would or could put up with it. If you still live with her it would be healthiest to try and find a way out of the house asap.

What everyone has said in here and yes, you need to get out of there as soon as possible! Do you have supportive friends? Or extended family? My partner came from an abusive childhood, he couldn't wait to get out, left at 16. First he went farming and then joined the Army and created a new family for himself. They are still his family now! Not that you need to join the service but please, do yourself a big BIG favour, when you're able to - find a way to get out of there girl! And when you're a rich and famous personal trainer, you can look back and smirk with delight at how happy and succesful you've become! My heart goes out to you.

I wish I had a daughter like you. What a treasure you are. Yes, I can see how well you are doing and it is exciting. Is there a loving grandparent who you could bunk with until you can afford to be on your own?