Am I asking too much??

2

Replies

  • EMarvie
    EMarvie Posts: 335 Member
    I am in the SAME boat!! - 17, 14, and 13 yrs old..

    and a 3 yr old - the big kids (my step kids) eat everything like it's going out of style. it's happened too long . I've had to start locking a cabinet.. and forget about ice cream treat.

    my next move... not buying anything anymore - just healthy fruits and veggies. lots of lean protein and yummy stuff that i know they dont like. maybe they'll stop eating all the snacks and start eating properly.

    (and lock up my 3 yr olds snacks) -

    good luck to you , and if you find a better solution.. please message me.
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
    And here is the deal...I don't care if they want to grab a handful...but the whole bag??
    If you genuinely cannot afford to let them eat as many almonds as they would like to, you need to explain to them that they are very expensive and that nobody, including you, can have more than a handful a day.

    Or divide the bag up when you get it and hand them out, so everyone has a fair share.

    Do they know how much things cost? If not, and their habit of eating healthy food is causing your family financial hardship, they need educating pdq.
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
    you're going to have to start punishing them.
    Yeah, in this society with all the eating disorders and obesity, lets punish kids for eating almonds.

    *shakes head*

    Punish them if they have broken a clearly stated and reasonable house rule, maybe!
  • EMarvie
    EMarvie Posts: 335 Member
    I think you might have asked your question incorrectly, because yes you are being selfish. I think your underlining question was more, I am frustrated my kids are eating me out of house and home how can I make sure there is food for me when I am hungry. Answer as previously stated double up on the goodies.

    I dont agree with this or a few of the others posts. I can buy a cupboard full of "lunch snacks" for them - plus craploads of snack foods for them - and they eat everything within 6 hours it seems.
  • Aesop101
    Aesop101 Posts: 758 Member
    When a family eats the same meals they share an experience.
  • tpot74
    tpot74 Posts: 80 Member
    My husband eats the last of my skinny cows...sigh makes me mad when he ate the last one, leaves the package on the counter and doesn't breath a word about. Grrrr. Drives me insane..grr
  • kobiemom
    kobiemom Posts: 218 Member
    I have four kids in their teens and twenties. I was trying to have *my* food supply and *their* food supply at first. We ended up keeping only healthy food in the house and taking them out (younger one) for treats, or the older ones would get their own. Everyone likes the fresh fruit and cut up veggies, etc. They end up eating healthier and getting less junk because it's too much effort. I wouldn't punish anyone over food. That's a set up for other problems down the line.
  • joconnor09
    joconnor09 Posts: 124
    I get what you mean- teens see food that looks good and eat it all. Diet food can be expensive and it's no fun to find out that your more expensive snacks were eaten in a single day rather than spread out over a week. Remind your kids that just because something is low-cal doesn't mean they can eat the whole box. Maybe try asking what snacks they want- do they really like the healthier stuff, or do they just eat it because it's there/they're not supposed to? My mom always told us that we could put whatever we wanted on the grocery list, but if it's not on there, we don't get it. So if we wanted what she had, we had to make sure it was on the list so she knew we wanted it too. When we first started buying 100 calorie packs, I'd eat 3 or 4 in a day. Same with the skinny cow ice cream sandwiches. It would frustrate my mom to no end. Not just that it was "her" food, but that it was more expensive and didn't even last a whole week.

    Why not try a family meeting? Talk about what kinds of foods everyone wants, lay down some ground rules (especially about sneaking the young kids' food), and get organized. Most families don't really talk about food- it's just there and people eat what they want. But if certain people want certain things, they should be allowed to have it without worrying that everyone else will take it. If everyone wants the same thing, get extra.
  • LadyRush
    LadyRush Posts: 95 Member
    I don't think it's too much to ask for teens to respect that not everything is for THEM. I was the oldest at home and the teens ate everything not nailed down. When I lived at home I had my food stached in my closet and locked my door. It was my food that I bought with my money.

    My kids understand that certain things are mine don't touch. I keep them up higher, out of immediate site and threaten doom if they dare to touch. I did expain that they can eat a lot more things than I can and that they need to be respectful and ask. No it doesn't work all the time but they are generally good. Mind you they aren't hungry teenage boys.

    My sister has teens and does hide the food as the older boys are ravenous and eat everything not nailed down. Now they have jobs and supplement their own cravings and bottomless appetites. It's hard but it's part of having teens. If they are willing to eat the health snacks, koodos to you! Let me know your secrets! Mine are picky and really ony have to guard the yogurt.
  • Stacivogue
    Stacivogue Posts: 325 Member
    Just buy the healthy stuff you will eat and tell them its because you want o make sure there is enough in the house. Give them the choice. Either make sure they don't eat the last of your healthy food or you won't buy them their treats.
  • We have three teens in the house - 14, 16 and 18. Also have two preschoolers, 4 and 5. When I go grocery shopping, I am very cognizent of the different age groups in our home, along with me eating healthier. There are things that I will buy for myself - low cal/low fat treats as well as stuff that is specifically for the preschoolers - (gogurt, for example). My husband and I bake a lot, so there are usually all kinds of healthy goodies along with fruit, snacky stuff - for everyone. Is it too much to ask that the teenagers stay out of the preschoolers and my low cal stuff??? One of them is "sneaking" food - frustrating to no end. I don't get it. Is it the whole "forbidden" aspect of it that makes it so appealing? Makes for a fun time when I go to grab a handful of almonds or a fat free yogurt and they are gone.

    Does anyone else have this issue? I do not want to turn into a raving lunatic - or start "hiding" food. But at the same time, I would like to buy some Weight Watchers ice cream treats and have them last a few weeks, instead of them being gone as soon as I buy them. Any advice?? Oh, and asking them to please not eat them is not working...


    Hi.. I am the oldest of 9 kids.. i remember my mom complaining about the same thing... the kids would eat it if it was hers but the second she would buy if for them too, they would stop eating it... it was like they were eating it just to irritate my mom or because it was forbidden...

    my mom ended up having to lock up the food because no one cared ..

    i think i would just start buying what they are eating... and if they don't eat it, then they can not have snack food...
    I struggle with it when my roommates brother (who is almost 21) comes over to visit.. he eats all the healthy food.. i normally wouldn't care but I'm broke... and can't afford to replace the food he is eating... he just sits and eats all day long, i have him for 2 days this week. and i'm dreading it.. i wont have food for the rest of the week.. so i feel you...
  • rmchapman4
    rmchapman4 Posts: 152 Member
    I understand what you mean. I have 3 daughters, 10, 11, and 13. They know to leave my WW and 100 calorie packs alone. My husband does not eat them either. i buy them separate treats and they must eat the single serving size. I limit their snacks to 2 a day with 200 cals. per serving. I definitely feel your pain! We can be friends!!!
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
    Have the same issue and I have to recommend as others already said; everyone eats the same thing pretty much. Best advice!! :flowerforyou:
  • nowucme
    nowucme Posts: 88 Member
    Some people don't get it. I do. "Diet" foods -prepackaged, low-fat, low-cal cost more and when they are what you need to eat it is frustrating to have it missing.
    Teens boys are bottomless grazers. They will eat anything. Mine used to snack on the food I saved for my lunch the next day.
    Didn't even matter if he ate an hour before. They get more exercise and actually need the full calorie healthy foods.
  • as a former 'always hungry teen who inhaled food rather than ate by chewing' my biggest tip for you is this:

    HIDE the mummy and daddy treats (like your pack of expensive choc bikkies and not in your undies drawer),

    GIVE 1 or 2 packs of treats to your kids and say to each of them "Shh, your brothers and sisters don't know you've got this so hide this carefully in your room. It's got to last until next shopping day" yes, that one really does work until they find out that the others also have a pack and start going into the others rooms and stealing their treats - great for working out who's stealing food

    and lastly STORE all your healthy and on sale stuff in the pantry/fridge. the kids will work out very quickly that mums weight watchers vanilla yoghurt is nowhere near as tasty as mums weight watchers trail bars and hence go for them instead.

    my mums biggest tip was to only buy in bulk healthy stuff that has a reduced sticker on it. don't forget you can freeze fresh milk in the freezer for up to 3 months.
  • Some people don't get it. I do. "Diet" foods -prepackaged, low-fat, low-cal cost more and when they are what you need to eat it is frustrating to have it missing.
    Teens boys are bottomless grazers. They will eat anything. Mine used to snack on the food I saved for my lunch the next day.
    Didn't even matter if he ate an hour before. They get more exercise and actually need the full calorie healthy foods.

    This.
  • jillian769
    jillian769 Posts: 247 Member
    They do...they are all athletes and are very healthy and eat very balanced diets. I am the one who got into really bad habits when my little guys were tiny - drank coffee all day, ate my one meal late at night and gained lots of weight, as you can imagine. I have always made sure that the kids had healthy/good homemade meals - I just didn't eat it. Does that make sense? So I have been getting back on track by eating three meals plus snacks, exercising, and just taking better care of myself.

    And as far as the healthy treats for everyone, there are. There is regular yogurt, "real" ice cream (when we buy it), and baked goods for the occasional treat. They just keep getting into the little guys' stuff or the stuff that I am buying specifically for my change.

    I can relate to this...it's not that I don't allow my teenage boys to eat healthy food either, it's just that they want the junky stuff most of the time (oreos, ice cream, pop tarts, chips) and they also eat all my diet stuff and I'm left with NADA!!!! If I get only healthy foods they say, "We aren't on a diet" and fuss...I would just like to be able to go for a vitatop or my pistachios and have them be there and not gone before I've had even one. :P
  • sewist
    sewist Posts: 40
    Also, a discussion about *why* people eat. I know teen boys need a lot of food. But they are also restless. Boredom is not a reason to eat. Learn to be hungry for an hour or so. Make sure you aren't actually thirsty. Eat at regularly scheduled times. Eat slower/chew more (no taste buds in your throat- why the rush to swallow?) Wait 15 mins before eating again.

    We don't do all these all the time but they have become part of our family culture.
  • minadeathclutch
    minadeathclutch Posts: 375 Member
    Let me just add this too - we feeeeeeed our kids. My boys eat triple of what I do, and are super skinny! They eat well, and eat a LOT - and that is OK! They are supposed to! AND they have a LOT of input to what we get at the store...if not, we would be throwing away food all of the time, and we can't afford to do that.

    lol! poor lady for future reference dont even bother posting here these people are like sharks, youre wrong theyre right lol
  • minadeathclutch
    minadeathclutch Posts: 375 Member
    and I know how it is.. I used to sometimes eat my moms lunch she packed for herself for work tomorrow :/ lol i didnt realize what it was and i'd eat it then id feel so bad :(

    maybe try putting notes on your stuff.. and say please do not eat..
    or have a family meeting?
  • Behl9
    Behl9 Posts: 95 Member
    My brother used to do the same thing, it drove my stepmom CRAZY... She would buy things "specifically" for everyone in the house (she knew what we all liked and tried to make sure we all had a share of our fav's), my brother would always eat my fav's first knowing that I didn't care for the foods that he liked and then he would end up getting all of those special things. I never really notices until she pointed it out later on in life after we were both grown... Kinda funny to think of it now but, I'd definately be frustrated if I was the grocery shopper in the house.
  • Lorrie_73
    Lorrie_73 Posts: 104 Member
    You can give 100 more examples and you are still going to get self-righteous opinions. Teen boys eat whatever they see it sight. They eat constantly and whatever is easy. They are instant gratifiers with disregard for whose ever food they are eating. They just don't care they are eating your post workout snack, mom will just buy more. There are no consequences. They simply have different dietary needs than you. I say have a family meeting, Lay out the expectations and give everyone their own snack drawer. If that doesn't work, unfortunately, it is survival of the fittest and you MUST put your health first........hide it!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Amy911Gray
    Amy911Gray Posts: 685 Member
    We still buy the "junk foods" for the boys--19/20, but we do cook healthier/smarter, so they are reaping the benefits. Plus, we seemed to have raised a household of "watchers" so they are learning and steering clear of "junk foods everyday" just once in a while.

    We always keep fruit and yogurt in the fridge and lower calorie foods that do have health benefits. We also have both sugar free and regular ice cream sandwiches on hand. The boys don't seem to be able to taste the difference in most lower sugar items, so we are sticking to lower sugar things like instant oatmeal and breakfast cereals--stuff they could put sugar on if they wanted to.

    Mostly though, the boys are very supportive of our choice to lose the excess baggage both me and my husband have been carrying around for quite some time. They are just as excited to see us fit into a booth at a restaurant as we are to have "table clearance".

    If there is a choice in the fridge with not much left, try to tell them gently to choose something else and to write it down on a shopping list. They can learn to help out. Ours started doing that in elementary school.
  • bubblicious84
    bubblicious84 Posts: 74 Member
    I had to jump in on this one and say I don't think you're being unreasonable at ALL. I have 3 kids - 10, 8, and 3, and it feels like the older two eat as much as teens! Just like you, I keep all kinds of healthy options for them, but they know that they can't eat endlessly on them (unlike teens lol) My kids are at healthy weights and are very active, so I buy the whole milk and yogurt for them, and the light and fat free for my husband and I, and the rules here are to stay out of ours, because they have their own!
  • mom2kea
    mom2kea Posts: 33
    Oh, your post made me laugh!!! I have 3 teenage daughters, who I love dearly. However teens by nature are completely selfish. I know exactly what you mean. I'm sure you do have healthy stuff around, but when us Moms are craving and we know that there is something we bought FOR OURSELVES to help us in those moments, and you go to the pantry and its gone,, it is maddening. I have one who will get into my stash when she's not even hungry. That's what is frustrating. Or they will grab an atkins bar because it's convenient even when there are other things they could make that might take them 2 min. This is what I have done, I have a tupperware box in the pantry labeled "Mom's Treats". They are not allowed to eat them. I have a box marked for them "convenience snacks". They are only supposed to take these more expensive options when they REALLY are pressed for time and need something quick. It has taken years of training, but it pretty much works now. Until my oldest comes home from college. Then all bets are off and she eats whatever the hell she wants. I feel your pain, kids can really irk you sometimes. Good luck!
  • xHelloQuincyx
    xHelloQuincyx Posts: 884 Member
    everyones jumping on her, but i know exactly what you mean. i live with my boyfriend, who enjoys junk and dosnt gain weight easiely. i buy healthy stuff for me, and go to bed earlier then him. when i wake up, he has eaten 3 things of my activia (which is expensive!, and you only need one at a time.) and all of my organic fruit strips. it defets the perpose if you are going to eat 5 of something that is low cal when you could just have the 'regular' version. i dont believe its nutrition she is worried about because she has stressed several times that they have a balenced diet and are active.

    she is not forbidding them the food. hence why she put it in quotations. its just that if you are looking forward to having something, and someone eats it, after you had told them it was yours.... there is gonna be trouble. there is no reason why her kids should eat ALL of the almonds or yogurt if they were hers.they should have left some.

    here is the solution i have come up with. i put my special things in the top cabinete one that isnt seen very often and overlooked. or the bottom crisper of the fridge. if it isnt on his eye level in the fridge when he is dying of hunger he wont take it.
  • Armygirl67
    Armygirl67 Posts: 177 Member
    I think you might have asked your question incorrectly, because yes you are being selfish. I think your underlining question was more, I am frustrated my kids are eating me out of house and home how can I make sure there is food for me when I am hungry. Answer as previously stated double up on the goodies.
    [/quote

    Why call her selfish ???
    The week worth of grocery is gone in two days ? I agree with her, she never said she is not letting her kids eat, but don`t get full on treats that should last for a week, eat lunch, dinner as well..
  • original_cake_face
    original_cake_face Posts: 131 Member
    you're going to have to start punishing them.
    Yeah, in this society with all the eating disorders and obesity, lets punish kids for eating almonds.

    *shakes head*

    Punish them if they have broken a clearly stated and reasonable house rule, maybe!

    Half of the reason I put on so much weight was because of stigmas caused by my parents. Either not shelling out the cash for healthy food, or punishing me for eating. Not healthy. NOT smart.
  • CookieCrumble
    CookieCrumble Posts: 221 Member
    It's possible to overeat whether something is healthy or not and if there is a finite amount of something in a family, everybody should respect their 'fair shares'. I wonder sometimes what it is that some people are teaching their children that it's ok to just swarm in and gobble up everything in their path, regardless of other family members. I find that pretty disgusting actually.

    OP says that she and her younger children are doing without. These are TREATS she's talking about, not normal foodstuffs. Piggish behaviour is just that, any way you slice it. Respect ALL family members and eat your fair share only. Portion control is the way to go.
  • kcoftx
    kcoftx Posts: 765 Member
    I have a green bowl in the fridge. If it is in tbat green bowl, it is mine. Do not touch it. If it is something they really want, they can ask me. If it is something I know they like, I will buy the same thing and set it outside the green bowl. I don't eat at their pace and it may take me a week to get around to eating that one item. It better still be there.

    My youngest one takes school snacks. I buy the same stuff and other stuff and put it in their great cabinet, but if it is inside this box, it is only for school snacks. There better be enough school snacks for the week without me needing to go to the store. The kids are pretty good with it. They know they just have to tell me they are out of something and I will put it on the list.

    There are some things my kids will devour in one day like muffins and rice krispies treats and not eat real food. Yes, I hide it in the closet and bring them out every couple of days. They seem unable to portion control themselves.

    I wish my kids loved more healthier versions like that but the strategies above would still be the same.

    I also have a large drawer in the fridge that they cannot touch. This is stuff I need to create dinners. Otherwise if it is anywhere else in the fridge, they can have it. (Does not include large staples that I know wont immediately run out. That I leave open in the regular part of the fridge).