Am I asking too much??
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Due to having a very limited budget and 6 kids around ALL the time to feed, my mom would buy two versions of everything. An adult version and a kid version. It used to make me so mad, because the yummier stuff was more expensive. My mom would go buy sodas from the gas station and make us have kool aid. She would have bratwurst and we would have hot dogs. It got to the point where I won't even touch those foods now unless it's a life or death situation.
Just buy healthy food and let your kids have some. Why buy stuff they don't want to eat?0 -
The teenagers are eating your healthy food? Buy more of it...0
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Your wasting your time asking people on this site for help. This is suppose to be a weight loss community but people rip each other apart the second they have a change. Welcome to the wonderful world of insecurities.0
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Buy more of what they eat and don't buy the other stuff. I'm confused at the problem ...0
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It's possible to overeat whether something is healthy or not and if there is a finite amount of something in a family, everybody should respect their 'fair shares'. I wonder sometimes what it is that some people are teaching their children that it's ok to just swarm in and gobble up everything in their path, regardless of other family members. I find that pretty disgusting actually.
OP says that she and her younger children are doing without. These are TREATS she's talking about, not normal foodstuffs. Piggish behaviour is just that, any way you slice it. Respect ALL family members and eat your fair share only. Portion control is the way to go.
Totally agree with THIS !!!!0 -
Thank you to those who have had real suggestions - I really appreciate the input. It's nice to know that I am not the only one with teens!
)
For those of you who "don't get it" or think that I am with-holding healthy food from them - that's not the case at all. They are heathly, active, athletic, lean teens who have a ton of healthy food to choose from, and they can eat all that they want. It's the things that I am buying for me for ME to get healthy, and the occasional "preschool" treat for the little guys that they can't resist getting into and eating ALL of it. Again, I don't care if they want some, but eating ALL of it is frustrating - and I do not want to be the Mom that goes ape-sh&t or gets stupid about food...trying to AVOID causing food issues in my children.0 -
Let me give a better example: I had a 30 oz bag of almonds for a snack after my workouts. I eat one serving per day, which is 24 nuts...so the bag should have lasted a very long time. There was 3/4 of the bag left on Tues. On Wed, I went to get some after my workout, and there was only 1/8 of the bag left. Still think I am being selfish? That is a LOT of almonds!
And here is the deal...I don't care if they want to grab a handful...but the whole bag??
My family will eat all my triscuits, but if I divvy them all up into serving size ziplock bags right away they usually just leave them. Probably too much work to eat 6 ziplock bags of triscuits. Might help for them to either eat only one serving or realize - hey the baggies mean these are Moms so maybe we shouldn't eat them all.0 -
here is the solution i have come up with. i put my special things in the top cabinete one that isnt seen very often and overlooked. or the bottom crisper of the fridge. if it isnt on his eye level in the fridge when he is dying of hunger he wont take it.
HAHA - I hide my Diet Dr. Pepper in the veggie drawer - no one looks in there!0 -
I don't get it. Is it the whole "forbidden" aspect of it that makes it so appealing?
Nng. don't psychoanalyse till you have to. The kid's hungry. The poor kid is hungry. Let the kid eat.
Do you have special teenager treats? They grow like maniacs at that age, and need their special extras as well.0 -
I think most people aren't readying what she said correctly..........what I read was that she does buy stuff for EVERYONE, but her older children PLOW through all of the food within a couple of days without any thought towards the fact that everyone else in the house still needs/wants to eat those things. From what I understand from being a teenager, it's being a teenager. You're always hungry and always want to eat. Some teenagers just need to know that no, they can't eat all of the food. Maybe give them each like a basket or something with their treats and tell them that that is theirs for the week/two weeks, however long, and that if they want to eat it day one then they have to suffer the rest of the days unless they want to buy stuff with their own money. /shrug0
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They do...they are all athletes and are very healthy and eat very balanced diets. I am the one who got into really bad habits when my little guys were tiny - drank coffee all day, ate my one meal late at night and gained lots of weight, as you can imagine. I have always made sure that the kids had healthy/good homemade meals - I just didn't eat it. Does that make sense? So I have been getting back on track by eating three meals plus snacks, exercising, and just taking better care of myself.
And as far as the healthy treats for everyone, there are. There is regular yogurt, "real" ice cream (when we buy it), and baked goods for the occasional treat. They just keep getting into the little guys' stuff or the stuff that I am buying specifically for my change.
I think i get what you're saying... if they're all athletes then they actually shouldn't be eating the low cal stuff - it's NOT healthy for them (not unhealthy, just not as good as food that gives them plenty of energy)
And if they're specifically getting into the little kid's food that is a bit naughty.
before grocery shopping, in situations like this mum used to specifically say 'hey, you're eating all of the xyz that i buy for my lunches, and the jkl that i buy for your little sister... do you want me to buy extra for you for afternoon snacks? no i am not going to buy you little-kid yoghurt, but i can get you some fruche or something. quick, add it to the list!'
also... somewhere, somehow mum managed to convince us that we needed to ask before eating anything.0 -
No. You're not asking too much. You have things for you and the little ones, and if those are gone...they're gone. It's not right. It's one thing if they like them too, but they're supposed to be treats, not normal food, right? My sister and I gave our mother this problem. We eventually reached a point of, if it's not yours and there's not a lot of it, DON'T TOUCH IT. It's one thing if it's regular food, but if things have a purpose and they just up and disappear, that can be irritating. My sister had her treats and I had mine. My sister would happily eat ANY of my treats in order to make hers last longer (i never liked hers...). So when I FINALLY go to get one, and it's gone, yes, I have a reason to be upset about it. Because then I had to wait for the next shopping trip while she got to keep eating. It's like going to eat dinner because you're the last one home from work...only to find that someone went back and ate your share of food that had been carefully set of to the side SPECIFICALLY for you. =.=0
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They do...they are all athletes and are very healthy and eat very balanced diets. I am the one who got into really bad habits when my little guys were tiny - drank coffee all day, ate my one meal late at night and gained lots of weight, as you can imagine. I have always made sure that the kids had healthy/good homemade meals - I just didn't eat it. Does that make sense? So I have been getting back on track by eating three meals plus snacks, exercising, and just taking better care of myself.
And as far as the healthy treats for everyone, there are. There is regular yogurt, "real" ice cream (when we buy it), and baked goods for the occasional treat. They just keep getting into the little guys' stuff or the stuff that I am buying specifically for my change.
I think i get what you're saying... if they're all athletes then they actually shouldn't be eating the low cal stuff - it's NOT healthy for them (not unhealthy, just not as good as food that gives them plenty of energy)
And if they're specifically getting into the little kid's food that is a bit naughty.
before grocery shopping, in situations like this mum used to specifically say 'hey, you're eating all of the xyz that i buy for my lunches, and the jkl that i buy for your little sister... do you want me to buy extra for you for afternoon snacks? no i am not going to buy you little-kid yoghurt, but i can get you some fruche or something. quick, add it to the list!'
also... somewhere, somehow mum managed to convince us that we needed to ask before eating anything.
^^ALL of this^^0 -
I have 5 children ranging in ages from 20 to 6 yo twins. I don't buy separate groceries for anyone of us. I buy only healthy foods and they are not mine or theirs, the groceries are everyones. Yogurt, I buy in the big containers, and I have small rubbermaid containers that I portion it into. I feel that by having separate things for the little ones vs the big kids, they feel like the little ones are getting special treatment, so therefor it is the "forbidden" food. Make it all equal, and the little ones will feel more like the big kids. And if you are going to buy ice cream treats, let the whole family have one together, enjoy it around the table with your children. Big deal, it is one box of goodies, and maybe a lifetime of memories and laughter. You know you have to smile when you eat ice cream!0
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Oh! This just reminded me. I bought English Muffins to eat for breakfast this week... it's not even Monday yet and they're gone. Okay there's one left but I'd be shocked if it was there in the morning! Guess next time I need to buy more!! Or the diet ones no one will eat!0
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I completely get what you're saying OP. Mine did (and still do on occasion) this too.
To help cut back the fight of "You ate ALL the food again!" fight, I started paying them for house work they were doing anyway. Mine aren't as old as yours (only 13,9, & 3) but MAN can they ever eat. So, I now pay them .11cents per "chore". Keep in mind, these are things they were doing anyway, but I wanted to show them just how much WORK goes in to buying that food they were shoveling. At the end of the first month, I paid them & told them to make up their shopping lists of the foods they wanted for the next 2 weeks (snacks, not Meals). Then I took them to the store. My 9 year old did a GREAT job of finding sales/deals on the foods on his list (he's not my really big eater anyway, so I was expecting this) The 3 year old only wanted cookies. He had enough money to buy one pack of chocolate chip. The 13 year old had a complete break down in the middle of the store because she only had enough money to buy 1/4 of the foods on her list. They don't exactly look at their "snacks" the same way any more, because I told them when they bought them that I would not be buying any replacements since I didn't buy the stuff in the first place.
I also started making VERY detailed menus and posting them on the front of the fridge and cupboards. If there is something they want to eat, they have to check and make sure it's NOT part of a meal on the menu before they can eat it. If it's up there....it's already got "dibbs" on it. My menu includes scheduled snack times as well as breakfast, lunch, dinner. If there is a specific snack scheduled for a specific person, their name and a star are next to it, so they also know that item is not up for downing in one sitting because they KNOW who it belongs to. If they would like some of someone else's snack, they have to make an agreeable trade and write it down on the menu with a signature (The little guy just makes a scribble).
Seems a little harsh, I know, but now my lactose intolerant midget gets to actually eat HIS treats now instead of my saying "sorry. You can't have that. Someone else already ate it for you" and watching a major Mental Mary go down.
Good luck figuring it out!0 -
Though I only have one child and he's 18 months old, I totally get what you are saying. There is plenty of food for everyone, yet your teens don't always eat in moderation (like I assume you do, as you are trying to get healthy) and eat much bigger portions than the little ones, so there is none left for anyone.
I don't think it's too much to ask for them to lay off the foods you buy specifically for yourself or the younger ones...especially if they can't exercise good portion control.0 -
Just be grateful it's your teens. I have a cousin in her mid-30s who, though she has a job and paycheck and the capability of buying groceries, asks her mom (my aunt) to buy things at the grocery then when my aunt is not home, goes in with her own key and takes things. Last week she took a whole pack of cans of Diet Coke and a variety bag of chips meant for a trip without asking. She's even taken other things. My aunt asked her where her cooler went and my cousin told her "oh I left it at my friend's house" then acted like it was a chore to go to said friend to get what wasn't even hers.
Teenagers do snack a lot, especially boys. If you're finding the current supply is quickly running out between the designated person/age group and the snacking teen, maybe it would be better to double what you buy if it's within your budget and cabinet/fridge space. Have one labeled specifically for you or the young ones, the other for anyone. Don't know if it would work but you might also try the "ask before you take" policy. My mother had to do that with me because I tended to raid the pantry to gorge on what I was told I could only have in moderation. It also helped when there were leftovers and one of us got hungry before meal time or late at night. We would ask if we could have it, if maybe they wanted some too, and that way we never got surprised when stuff was gone.0 -
I feel like this post can't be real. Are you really upset your kids are eating more healthy food? Or do you just want to gripe and moan that the healthy food costs more and therefore you will have to pay more if they eat healthy food. Well honey, the cost you will pay for your family eating healthy is a lot less than the cost of bad health!0
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I feel like this post can't be real. Are you really upset your kids are eating more healthy food? Or do you just want to gripe and moan that the healthy food costs more and therefore you will have to pay more if they eat healthy food. Well honey, the cost you will pay for your family eating healthy is a lot less than the cost of bad health!
I'm pretty sure the OP's griping because they're eating more than what was bought for them to eat without asking if they could have any of it to begin with. There's no "oh waaah waaaah they're eating healthy!" going on.0 -
I feel like this post can't be real. Are you really upset your kids are eating more healthy food? Or do you just want to gripe and moan that the healthy food costs more and therefore you will have to pay more if they eat healthy food. Well honey, the cost you will pay for your family eating healthy is a lot less than the cost of bad health!
You misread the post. OP isn't upset about her teens eating healthy. Her kids are athletes. She WANTS them to eat healthy. But there are things in her house meant for certain people and her teens go through EVERYTHING. It's not the everything part that's the issue. It's the fact that 1) they are eating things specifically meant for other people and 2) they're not always practicing good portion control. It IS possible to overeat even on healthy stuff. Even if they are teens and athletes, portion control is important.0 -
To me it all comes down to respect. If I tell my kids that are certain item is not for them to help themselves to, then they better darn well leave it alone. There are plenty of other things for them to eat and they have enough respect for their mother to do as they are asked. The OP is not whining or being selfish but feeling let down by her children not doing as they have been asked.
I have a shelf on the pantry that is theirs to help themselves to and a shelf that they MUST ask before touching - doesn't mean they can't have it, just that they have to ask first. Whether the foods are healthy or not is immaterial, they are being rude and disrespectful and I cannot believe that so many of you think that is acceptable.0 -
Thank you, KittyGamer and saragato. You two understand exactly what I am trying to communicate.
Just for sh1ts a giggles...anyone want to take a guess at how much our weekly grocery bill is for healthy, good food (we do NOT buy much processed food...maybe pasta and an occasional frozen pizza - my husband and I both love to cook, so we make everything from scratch - my husband even bakes our bread. He's trying to perfect sourdough now...but I digress) for a family of 7 runs? Even shopping at the discount grocery stores? ( I love Aldi's!). Keep in mind my athletes...18 year old is a work-out /soccer fanatic; 16 year-old boy is a wrestler (oh my gosh can this kid eat!), and the 14 year-old is a basketball/cross-country runner training for his first 5k. Groceries are expensive! So yes, when I put a very few select items to the side, and I go to get them and they are gone, yes! It ticks me off!
Tonight went well, though. Everyone has been doing great and the weather was beautiful, so for a special treat we made ice cream cones. I made the cones for the kids this time, and everyone got their fair amount. They love Neapolitan ice-cream, so I made sure everyone got a good amount of each, without making a big deal of it. The last time we did this, I let the big kids make their own. When I went to make the little guys cones, someone had eaten all of the chocolate, and all of the vanilla, leaving the strawberry for the little guys.
Not even a dent in the strawberry...smh...that took some work! 0 -
Has to be a lot! I have a teenage brother back home and my grandmom can barely keep up with all he eats!
Kind of glad I only buy for me xD0 -
Might be tricky with frozen food, but find a way to stash, lock the food away...
...and, importantly, don't feel guilty about it. You're feeding your kids, you're making sure they are healthy. If they "graze" at other times and it's potentially undermining your own efforts then you have to act.
It's not being crazy, it's doing the right thing for you. Keep smiling!0 -
I moved back home a while back... and my mom will buy cakes, cookies, tubs of ice cream, and all kinds of different bread. I buy my groceries separate and hide what I can in my room. I have one drawer in the fridge and I try to make my stuff look very unappealing lol Like I open everything and put it into re-useable tubs to make it look like leftovers and whatnot.
The thing in my house is that she can easily buy some of the things that I buy to try to be healthier but she won't (because it's more expensive) =( Everyone claims they don't like water but the minute I put a case in the fridge it may last 2 days. So I say do what you gotta do.0 -
here is the solution i have come up with. i put my special things in the top cabinete one that isnt seen very often and overlooked. or the bottom crisper of the fridge. if it isnt on his eye level in the fridge when he is dying of hunger he wont take it.
HAHA - I hide my Diet Dr. Pepper in the veggie drawer - no one looks in there!
Even better, I would hide my treats in a bowl with aluminum foil on top in the back of the fridge! No one EVER touched them again!!!0 -
here is the solution i have come up with. i put my special things in the top cabinete one that isnt seen very often and overlooked. or the bottom crisper of the fridge. if it isnt on his eye level in the fridge when he is dying of hunger he wont take it.
HAHA - I hide my Diet Dr. Pepper in the veggie drawer - no one looks in there!
Even better, I would hide my treats in a bowl with aluminum foil on top in the back of the fridge! No one EVER touched them again!!!
Oh my - I am laughing so hard right now! That is pure brillance! It would sit in there for months, and nobody would touch it! Funny, funny stuff!0 -
When I lived with my parents age 16+ I bought some of my own food because they didnt eat anything I really liked so fair enough I bought my own which is only fair but my brother who was 3 years younger ate my food. i wanted to eat different to the family so I bought it.
My mother bought alsorts of fruit, yoghurts, crisps, ready meals etc for us and my brother would eat all of it and then my food too. Leaving me to have nothing to eat and id have to go out because they only things he'd leave were foods I dont like and have never liked. My mother never did anything about it and my brother piled on weight he got bullied and is now anorexic.0
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