What would you do?

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shellie1206
shellie1206 Posts: 80 Member
in Chit-Chat
Ok here is my problem.. I have a roommate and he buys his food and we buy ours but we do share food sometimes.. I cant really share at the moment cause if I keep doing it I will run out of food and I dont have the money for a while to keep feeding him and he also wont have the money to get food either and I have a family to feed my b/f and son.. So even if he is being nice and we are all sharing sometimes do I still feed the roommate when I need to worry about my family to feed??

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  • holly1283
    holly1283 Posts: 741 Member
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    It may be hard but just tell him at present finances are tight and your family comes first. Best of luck!
  • redcut
    redcut Posts: 176
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    No I don't think I would you have to think of your family first sit down and talk to the roommate about it if they are a grown up they should understand good luck I wish you the best
  • shellie1206
    shellie1206 Posts: 80 Member
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    I talked to my man about it and he says if we run out of food deal with it he is a good roommate and i should be a very kind person and treat him like family.. Every roommate I have lived with has never shared food etc. So I dont understand.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    Does your b/f contribute to the food purchasing?
    If he does not then I see that as your first problem short of a very good reason he can`t.
  • onequirkygirl
    onequirkygirl Posts: 303 Member
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    You aren't at all obligated to feed your roommate, or boyfriend for that matter. If you explain the situation to him, it should be understood. He's a grown-up, not a starving child on the street. If he doesn't want to buy food, or doesn't buy the right kinds of food so you wouldn't benefit from sharing it....maybe just have him pay you a monthly cash contribution towards it. When he sees how much it really is, he might get the hint.
  • 1shauna1
    1shauna1 Posts: 993 Member
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    Exactly....it's NICE to feed the others but really the only obligation is your son and yourself. If your boyfriend isn't contributing to the food bills he should, then maybe you can help out the roommate.
  • shellie1206
    shellie1206 Posts: 80 Member
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    What I am going to do is feed myself and my son.. If my b/f wants to make the roommate happy than feed him with your money that we dont really have, and my mom does helps us out a lot of food money soo yea not my problem. Yes it was nice of our roommate to cook for us and I soo am greatful for that. But when things our getting to the bare of nothing I need to think of my family first. If that makes me selfish a ***** or etc like my b/f says than yea ok I guess I am. I stress out enough with our finances the way they are. I dont need to stress out about this.
  • Bentley2718
    Bentley2718 Posts: 1,690 Member
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    Don't stress about this, do what you have to do to feed your child and yourself. If worse comes to worse, maybe you can you take your child to your mom's to eat. (Maybe you shouldn't have to do this, but worse case scenario.)
  • katemiddletonisawesome
    katemiddletonisawesome Posts: 152 Member
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    I had this problem!!!!

    My roommate lost his job a month after I moved in..... I ended up buying all the groceries and cooking all the time. When he would shop, he would get 5 boxes of pasta ($1 each) and nothing more. So, if I wanted to eat healthy, I had no choice but to get everything myself.

    You need to talk to each other. That's the only way things got solved with me. Come up with a compromise - communication is key!
  • jsp2374
    jsp2374 Posts: 131 Member
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    It does not make you selfish it makes you a good momma. You and your son have to come first. Don't let anyone tell you, you are being selfish for making sure your son has food in his belly. That is just plain out right wrong of you BF to do.
  • 967_1111
    967_1111 Posts: 221 Member
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    Everyone's an adult in this conversation, so hopefully, they all will act like adults.

    First, I'd have a chat with your roommate. Just explain that you enjoy cooking together and sharing food, but you really are tight on finances, and could they either help chip in for food, or if they prefer, keep it totally separate. That way, you put a choice for them to make, and you don't come across as the selfish one who doesn't want to feed them.

    Your b/f, also an adult, could kick in a few bucks to feed himself if he's eating with you too. I would think any responsible adult would want to contribute to the household expenses, and not expect their g/f and/or roommate to carry them.

    Good luck!
  • annareeves0
    annareeves0 Posts: 5 Member
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    Ive gotten into this situation in the past, not with a room mate, but with the kids' friends and boy/girl friends etc - you feed them a couple of times and all of a sudden you feel obligated to feed them all the time and get resentful really quickly.

    Basically I just toughened up and told them all 'if i have extras then you are welcome to eat with us - if i offer you some, you are not being 'polite' declining - Im offering because i have sufficient to do so. If I dont offer, its because i dont have enough'.

    Everyone knows the score and they come over not expecting to be fed but if they are its an added bonus. They are not my responsibility and if they are hungry then they need to go home/get a job etc. You need to be honest with your flatmate.

    Maybe find some recipes for really cheap and cheerful meals that can be prepared in advance around payday and kept in the freezer til times get hard! Either that or get them to invest in lots of tins of baked beans etc as store cupboard staples on the cheap.
  • budhandy
    budhandy Posts: 305 Member
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    It may be hard but just tell him at present finances are tight and your family comes first. Best of luck!
    agree with this a 1000%
  • robot_potato
    robot_potato Posts: 1,535 Member
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    Worry bout your family first. Specifically yourself and your child. If your boyfriend wants to feed to roommate, let him, out of his pocket.
  • pinkgigi
    pinkgigi Posts: 693 Member
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    I think your first problem is between yourself and your boyfriend, did he really say you are a selfish *kitten*? Really? Why are you the only one worried about the money?

    I find that the people who contribute the least are the first people to complain about the generosity of others, so the first conversation has to happen between you and the boyfriend, because you both should be looking out for each other first.

    GG

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