No idea what anyone can say to help me right now. =(
ParisArkw
Posts: 186
I have this uncontrollable, compulsive eating. I don't even enjoy sweets when I eat them, but BECAUSE I think "I should only eat a little of them every day" it makes me want to break out of that restriction and eat more sweets than I ever even did before I started trying to eat healthier!!!
Please no condescending or critical comments.
Right now I am filled with a certain level of self-disgust. I'm not all-out hating myself, but this makes no sense to me:
I start eating healthier. I feel great, and I have sweets in moderation. But I hate feeling restricted!!! It seems to CREATE even more temptation. And its led me to start binging. And I go further downhill until most of my calories are not healthy ones. There's no real point in checking out my diary if you wanted, because I don't record the days that I have blown!
I exercise regularly. Cardiovascularly, I am pretty damn healthy, and can work out a lot and often. I am just not losing weight because I overeat on the sweets. I tell myself, "think of all the hard work I've done exercising". But that doesn't stop me.
My mom said to me, "maybe you don't really want to lose weight right now." A friend has told me that I don't really need to lose weight. And I just think, "come on, if you weighed as much as I did, you would be so unhappy." Which at the same time is selfish of me to say, because I'm only overweight by about 25 pounds.
I feel like I need help. I feel like I can't do this. I feel like I am weak-willed and have no self-control.
Please no condescending or critical comments.
Right now I am filled with a certain level of self-disgust. I'm not all-out hating myself, but this makes no sense to me:
I start eating healthier. I feel great, and I have sweets in moderation. But I hate feeling restricted!!! It seems to CREATE even more temptation. And its led me to start binging. And I go further downhill until most of my calories are not healthy ones. There's no real point in checking out my diary if you wanted, because I don't record the days that I have blown!
I exercise regularly. Cardiovascularly, I am pretty damn healthy, and can work out a lot and often. I am just not losing weight because I overeat on the sweets. I tell myself, "think of all the hard work I've done exercising". But that doesn't stop me.
My mom said to me, "maybe you don't really want to lose weight right now." A friend has told me that I don't really need to lose weight. And I just think, "come on, if you weighed as much as I did, you would be so unhappy." Which at the same time is selfish of me to say, because I'm only overweight by about 25 pounds.
I feel like I need help. I feel like I can't do this. I feel like I am weak-willed and have no self-control.
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Replies
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Wow... I feel like you have just written what I am feeling. I have just found this site and I am hoping to get a little help... if anything just to track my calories. I have just logged my food and finally see that I am eating TOO much! I workout 6 days a week but over indulge!
Here's to a new start. Good luck to you!0 -
Well, it is hard! Some people just don't care that much about food, but if you do, keeping a good relationship with it and trying to eat less is not easy.
A dietician or even a regular psychologist might be able to help you more.0 -
Yes you can do this!
Start with small goals, I suggest you try cutting back on your sweets first rather than giving them up all together. I suffer from the same thing as you and its taken me a week so far just to control my eating again and not crave sweets like a ravinist beast lol.
I still sometimes give in to temptation - the other night I had a chocolate muffin (550kjs) with a spoon of vanilla ice cream, I was actually proud of myself because I didn't have the 10 biscuits, 2 chocolates, 2 toasts with peanut butter after...yeah I could totally have done that before and still not feel really full!
I'm slowly starting to see results after a couple of weeks, sure I've only lost 3lbs but that's something and it means I'm on my way to feel a lot healthier than I was before.0 -
I am a sweet-freak! A self-described cupcake enthusiast. I have good news.
I have recently read THE NEW RULES OF LIFTING FOR WOMEN, and have completed my first 3 work outs. The book suggests eating more protein - changing your macros to 30 protein, 40 carb, 30 fat. This is more protein than I have ever eaten before (I didn't even know how much protein I was eating before; never paid attention).
Anyway, my point is, that in order to eat that much protein I find I need to have some protein shake and maybe a protein bar every day. They are sweet, and I like them very much. On the FIRST day that I started trying to make this higher protein goal, something happened to me that I had never before experienced. I COULD NOT EAT ALL MY CALORIES.
Now, mind you, I have read about other people who could not eat their calories and I have scoffed. I have rolled my eyes and I have shaken my head. However, there I was, not able to eat all my calories (btw, that is not necessarily a good thing).
I have been eating at this higher level of protein for just about a week now. I find I can now eat all my calories if I budget carefully throughout the day, eat frequently, and guess what . . . I have very little desire for sweet treats.
I never thought it could happen, but it has.
Take a look at my diary if you like.
Then take a deep breath and relax and know you're not alone, and you're going to be ok. Have a nice sleep and wake up in the morning fresh--eat some protein for breakfast.
hugs.0 -
What about attending a meeting like Overeaters Annonymous or seeing a counselor. Sometimes just need some extra help. I know someone who said the meetings really helped her focus on why she was binging. I also am reading a book called "Eat What you Love, Love What You Eat" by a Dr. Michelle May. It is on the psychological reasons we binge and overeat and she speaks a lot on why diets/restrictions can fail. I am enjoying the book so far (not very far into it)...can see some truth in it. And Amazon reviews have it as a 5 star.
Good luck....I know I have struggled with some binging issues....I finally seem to have my mind around what I need to do...but it is hard and has been a process. I wish you the best in your journey.0 -
I have this uncontrollable, compulsive eating. I don't even enjoy sweets when I eat them, but BECAUSE I think "I should only eat a little of them every day" it makes me want to break out of that restriction and eat more sweets than I ever even did before I started trying to eat healthier!!!
Please no condescending or critical comments.
Right now I am filled with a certain level of self-disgust. I'm not all-out hating myself, but this makes no sense to me:
I start eating healthier. I feel great, and I have sweets in moderation. But I hate feeling restricted!!! It seems to CREATE even more temptation. And its led me to start binging. And I go further downhill until most of my calories are not healthy ones. There's no real point in checking out my diary if you wanted, because I don't record the days that I have blown!
I exercise regularly. Cardiovascularly, I am pretty damn healthy, and can work out a lot and often. I am just not losing weight because I overeat on the sweets. I tell myself, "think of all the hard work I've done exercising". But that doesn't stop me.
My mom said to me, "maybe you don't really want to lose weight right now." A friend has told me that I don't really need to lose weight. And I just think, "come on, if you weighed as much as I did, you would be so unhappy." Which at the same time is selfish of me to say, because I'm only overweight by about 25 pounds.
I feel like I need help. I feel like I can't do this. I feel like I am weak-willed and have no self-control.
If it's really compulsive overeating, like binge eating, you should probably find a psychologist.
Otherwise, one thing I do when I crave sweets is find out the number of cals before I eat it, and and tell myself I can have utter as long as burn that many cals first. Usually the effort it takes me to burn it off is enough of a turn off from actually eating it afterward, but if I still want it, at least it won't mess up my day.
This only works if it's a craving though, because you really don't have that much control and restraint with a binging episode.0 -
Thank you. Good luck to yourself, and welcome to MFP. Despite my fallbacks, MFP has been so full of support/comfort and help.Wow... I feel like you have just written what I am feeling. I have just found this site and I am hoping to get a little help... if anything just to track my calories. I have just logged my food and finally see that I am eating TOO much! I workout 6 days a week but over indulge!
Here's to a new start. Good luck to you!0 -
i was able to cut out a lot of my sweets/snacking by doing it for just one day at a time. Say to yourself, you wont have any today, but you will tomorrow. That makes it a lot easier to get through today. Then go two days. Once i started going two days without treats, one day with, almost all my cravings have gone away! if you can control it for just one day, then two days (it might be hard..but tell urself, its just ONE day! you can do it) then you'll be able to control ur cravings almost anytime!0
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Relax. There's one key factor you need to remember. The big secret...
You're human - you make mistakes.
Honestly, stressing doesn't help you at all. Make a mistake. Note it. Fix it. Move on with your day. That's it.
If you really struggle with feeling restricted, look into a cheat day or meal once a week to eat whatever you want.0 -
I have been thinking about seeking the help of a psychologist...and hearing it from someone else makes me all the more encouraged to do so. Thank you.Well, it is hard! Some people just don't care that much about food, but if you do, keeping a good relationship with it and trying to eat less is not easy.
A dietician or even a regular psychologist might be able to help you more.0 -
Ever look into Geneen Roth?0
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I "quit" my diet 3 times, before I finally got on track- so keep trying! And then after being "on track" for a few weeks- I binged on almost an entire container of ice cream and a bag of pita chips over Spring Break. I think that binge session got it out of my system. I tried to focus on how very crappy I felt after eating the junk foods and I think it really helped. But some other smart people here have a good point, I think I would look into a conselor to talk to about it- someone that can help give you the support you really need. Hang in there- YOU CAN DO THIS!0
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I think you should absolutely track EVERY DAY, especially on the days that you've blown it. It gives you an honest perspective on your eating behaviors and over time you can see your eating patterns, even if they aren't very pretty. If you aren't consistant in logging, it's really hard to know what's going on. Good luck to you! :flowerforyou:0
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I agree with people saying to see a professional. It could be deeper than just eating sweets - like a obsessive compulsion. You think you need to restrict yourself which makes you want them more and you cannot get the idea of eating a full cake out of your head. A counselor or psychologist can give you tools to cope and overcome those emotions - meditation or redirection.
Good luck!0 -
Binge eating is a difficult part of life. I am sure MOST people on here can relate. DON'T hate yourself for it!!!
Building your willpower is just as hard, if not HARDER than building your muscles. You only have a certain amount each day, and if you keep fighting fighting fighting youself you are going to give in to a certain degree. But it is just like anything else; you have to get back on the proverbial horse. You can build your willpower over time, but it takes WORK!! It takes a little bit, a little further, every day. Just like running. You and I can't run a 5k tomorrow. BUT, if we worked up to it over a year, a little bit at a time, WE COULD (some people do that cough to 5k program, and can even do it in months, CRAZY!)
DON'T beat yourself up! And DON'T let people talk you out of losing weight if that is what YOU want to do (and you are aiming for a healthy range, of course). 25 lbs is ALOT. Go pick up a 25 lb bag of dog food. Imagine carrying that around all day every day, hard right? THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE DOING!!!
YOU CAN DO THIS lady. Don't give up on yourself. We have all been there. You are fighting your MIND and building your willpower. It takes time and it takes WORK. But you CAN get there, it just takes a long time.
It's NOT about never messing up. It's ALL ABOUT starting back up again AFTER you messed up.
Hang in there, you are NOT alone.:flowerforyou:0 -
I felt like this too, more than you know, I would go grocery shopping and come back with cake, doughnuts, doughnut holes, cookies, brownies, and bread and milk.... I hated over eating and would feel so disgusted at myself when I was through but I felt like I achieved something by consuming a whole cake in 2 days (especially when I found it on sale for just a few bucks!).. whack! My doctor friend came over for coffee one day and witnessed my 1st, 2nd and 3rd sweet item in under an hour. I also exercised 4times a week, ate decent, had no health issues. Anyway my doc pal, said to me, you know you have diabetes, cancer and heart issues in your family so why do you poison youur system like this? I had never really thought like that before. That every piece of cake is a gateway to diabetes. Every doughnut could lead to clogged arteries, and the cancer, well I really don't want that and studies show unhealthy living is high risk for these diseases. Its not just stats when you reach the age gap that many people find out scary things about their health, its reality. Its like have an alcoholic parent, that fear of becoming them, now I still allow myself to indulge on a good slice, but its one slice, occasionally. I start grocery shopping in the produce section filling my basket with fruit and veg, nuts and berries and by the time I reach the bakery section my basket is full and a glance over the sweets and walk past those disease causing gateway foods. You are stronger than you think! I believe you can make healthy choices, do you?
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And also, it helps me to not think about what I CAN'T have, but more about what I need. As in, yeah I want that brownie, but I NEED to eat some more protien today to get to my goal, so I eat some cheese instead. Don't think of what you CAN'T eat, think about what you all that you SHOULD eat.0
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First off you are trying hard and looking for help and support so that is great. A great many of us have gotten to the point where we want to lose weight because we dont always know what is healthy or the best course so give yourself a break. Reading up on nutrition has helped me a lot.
Like you and Sleepy Texan, I love sweets. Just about anything with sugar in it and for me a little never seems enough. Well one doctor told me to check out the book Sugar Busters by Steward, Bethea, Andrews, and Balart and it was great for me because it taught me a lot about what the sugar was doing to me and how to beat it. That was the first time I had heard of the Glycemic Index which measure how much a food spikes your blood sugar. The South Beach Diet also used the Glycemic Index to determine what kinds of foods are good to eat. I encourage you to read up on this but both diets assert that many americans have some kind of sugar addiction and the first phase of those diets is designed to break that sugar addiction. I can testify that the first phase really changes your cravings to the point where you can manage them with healthy choices. South beach phase 1 is only 2 weeks but for the sugar addicted it seems hardcore. The worst for me was that there is no fruit (GASP!) but you can add it back in in phase 2.
So you are not alone in sugar addiction, there is an answer, and you can do it!
Good luck!0 -
I have been thinking about seeking the help of a psychologist...and hearing it from someone else makes me all the more encouraged to do so. Thank you.Well, it is hard! Some people just don't care that much about food, but if you do, keeping a good relationship with it and trying to eat less is not easy.
A dietician or even a regular psychologist might be able to help you more.
That's okay! People often make the mistake of thinking that psychologists are only for serious mental illnesses, but they're also there to help you get over hurdles like this.
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I been there myself several times. (sigh) I also succeeded before and I am like "how did I do it back then?" I know this is easier said than done, but it is all psychological. Off and on I been a emotional eater, stress eater, boredom eater, guilt/ shame eater, etc. But when things in life are not so out of my control, I get excited and play games on how healthy am I going to eat several days in a row? What exercise am I going to do on Tuesdays and Thursdays and what will I do on Saturday? Shake it up and make it fun! Also, educate yourself! There are tons of diet nutrition info on the web as well as exercise videos. Reward yourself not with food but something to wear or whatever your interest maybe. Hang in there! I am just getting back from the pit myself and it feels good to eat a bowl of fresh fruit.
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Hi...
I don't know if this will help, but I noticed a theme in your note about not being able to accept the "restrictions" on your food intake which results in you binging...the "restrictions" create an almost irresistible desire to eat unhealthy things...
One of the most important ideas that lead many to self-destructive behaviors (especially eating disorders) is exactly that...when a person feels that they are powerless, defeated and have no control over anything in their lives, they demonstrate control over the one thing they can: food. (i.e. if somebody or something says I shouldn't have this...I'll show them...I just will!)
Lots of times, people who suffer from anorexia or bulimia experience these feelings and it might make sense for you to journal exactly what you were feeling just before the binge and most importantly why or who contributed to those negative feelings. Journaling can be an important tool because it allows you to detect trends or patterns. Identifying those patterns is the first step toward mastering them...
I don't know if this will be useful or not, but I just wanted to say that you are not alone. So many of us here deal with the same types of issues...sometimes well...sometimes not...one day/one hour at a time is all that you need for success because all those minutes and hours and days add up.
Good luck....0 -
You really need to adjust your thinking when it comes to food. You seem to have an unhealthy relationship with it. I have a sweet tooth too, but I don't generally have problems controlling it. I actually created a food category in my diary just for it. That way I can't really deceive myself about how much I already have. Maybe that method could help you.0
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I used to engage what seemed like this sort of 'rebellion against self'... that is what I thought it was, anyway, but i found that strategies that targeted the idea that i was rebelling against my own restrictions did not work.
So i investigated my behaviour a little more... i thought about and wrote down what it is that i am thinking when i am over-eating sweets. Then I thought about what other things I DO when i am thinking about similar things.
It turns out that when I am thinking about certain problems in a certain way (usually a repetitive thought pattern), I ALWAYS engage in some form of self-destructive repetitive behaviour. Eating chocolate was one behaviour among many.
Once I understood how and why my thinking triggered my behaviour, I have been able to apply the right strategies when i feel an urge.
If you really are rebelling against self-imposed restrictions, certain reasoning strategies should have an effect. For example, reminding yourself of the current restrictions created by your weight may help, while refocusing on your goals and the steps you can take to achieve them.
If it really is compulsive eating there could be something more complex going on.
I've got about 25lbs to lose too. 0 -
First this is not easy and you will have good and bad days. The idea is to string more good than bad together to find long term success. Some suggestions that helped me as I am an emotional eater, especially stress.
1st - if I bite it I write it! - close your diary for a while if you don't want others to see, but it helps to track the overage days and at the end of the day I started to log what was going on for me throughout the day that stressed me out. I was able to finally see how my eating was more about where I was at emotionally and not so much because I was hungry. Sounds easy, but it means taking a hard look at ourselves beyond food choices.
2nd - find things that help you with any stress, anxiety, or other emotions that come up for you. Meditation, journaling, excercise when you feel like binging and set little reminders around the house. We posted positive affirmations everywhere that really helped remind me of the reason for the journey.
3rd - cut yourself some slack. We didn't put this extta weight on in a day, so it takes some time to redirect ourselves. Also (if I read it wrong I apologize) it seemed you felt like maybe you shouldn't feel the way you do because you don't have a lot to lose. It doesn't matter if you have 1lb or 300lbs to lose. If you are feeling unhappy about where you are that is your feeling and don't compare to others as this is your personal unique journey.
Good luck and I hope you find your groove that gets you where you want to be.
This is the best place to be the folks here are great and I have found that even when I have stumbled I have always gotton great support.0 -
I felt that way about smoking until one day I knew I would & could quit. Once you get past that feeling of being deprived and needing sweet's it's very freeing. I think that sweets are harder as they are everywhere and friends & family push them on you.
I read about one trick where you fill a cabinet with treats, everything you love. Then enjoy it when you want to - after a while you will realize that when you can have them any time you want they lose their appeal. I'm not recommending that but you should not feel deprived.
I agree with starting with small changes. Sugar is as addictive as cocaine. It does crazy things to your mind and body.
http://thechronicleherald.ca/artslife/77073-coming-clean-about-eating
Tosca advocates going cold turkey but that would not work for me... = )
You must understand that you do deserve to be healthy. You can do it. Tell yourself that you CAN have all the sweets you WANT but you can CHOOSE not to have them, that is empowering!
Try having fruit or dark chocolate before a craving hits.
I also agree that high protein and healthy fat keep you satisfied and less likely to have a blood sugar drop that sends you to the cookie jar.
Good luck!0 -
Hi, I do agree with several of the responses that it would be good to figure out what is behind the binge eating. Are you hungry? Or trying to feed emotions? Or miss the taste of the sweets? Also some people say that you can even be addicted to sugar, which can take some time to over come. I know I can't keep cookies, chocolate, cupcakes, or items like that in the house cause they won't last the night. If I'm gonna eat something like that I need to just buy one and eat it. Then stop. If I bring a whole bag home, I'm doomed. =o) Another idea is to possibly find some healthier sweet tasting alternatives as well and attempt to eat them in moderation. I've found that frozen yogurt places are yummy and a healthier alternative for me. You just have to stay away from the toppings. another thing you might look at is your protien intake. I've found that if I don't have enough protien in my diet now that I'm eating healthier that I get tired and very hungry. I drink chocolate flavored protien shakes and eat peanut butter chocolate think thin bars (no more then one a day). Hope some of this helps. They always say the first step to changing something is realizing that you have something to change. Don't be too hard on yourself. We all have habits we need to change and it takes time. You can do it!!0
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I have this uncontrollable, compulsive eating. I don't even enjoy sweets when I eat them, but BECAUSE I think "I should only eat a little of them every day" it makes me want to break out of that restriction and eat more sweets than I ever even did before I started trying to eat healthier!!!
Please no condescending or critical comments.
Right now I am filled with a certain level of self-disgust. I'm not all-out hating myself, but this makes no sense to me:
I start eating healthier. I feel great, and I have sweets in moderation. But I hate feeling restricted!!! It seems to CREATE even more temptation. And its led me to start binging. And I go further downhill until most of my calories are not healthy ones. There's no real point in checking out my diary if you wanted, because I don't record the days that I have blown!
I exercise regularly. Cardiovascularly, I am pretty damn healthy, and can work out a lot and often. I am just not losing weight because I overeat on the sweets. I tell myself, "think of all the hard work I've done exercising". But that doesn't stop me.
My mom said to me, "maybe you don't really want to lose weight right now." A friend has told me that I don't really need to lose weight. And I just think, "come on, if you weighed as much as I did, you would be so unhappy." Which at the same time is selfish of me to say, because I'm only overweight by about 25 pounds.
I feel like I need help. I feel like I can't do this. I feel like I am weak-willed and have no self-control.
Just take a solid month. Watch your triggers. Take notes. A journal would help.
A counselor would also be a really good idea.
When you have a solid grasp of what triggers you, then you can start to change.
Good luck!
Keep us posted.0 -
It may just be some sort of psychological hang-up you've got. Maybe it would help to talk to a doctor or psychologist about it, maybe your mother is right, you just aren't ready. There is some reason you are having this internal struggle with yourself.0
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One thing that helped me was logging days regardless if I went way over my calories or not. It was a like a free pass when I wasn't logging bad days. It wasn't there for me to see that it happened, so I never had an consequences with my actions. It may help to start logging regardless of how many calroies you eat in a day.0
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