No idea what anyone can say to help me right now. =(

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  • KeepOnMoving
    KeepOnMoving Posts: 383 Member
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    I been there myself several times. (sigh) I also succeeded before and I am like "how did I do it back then?" I know this is easier said than done, but it is all psychological. Off and on I been a emotional eater, stress eater, boredom eater, guilt/ shame eater, etc. But when things in life are not so out of my control, I get excited and play games on how healthy am I going to eat several days in a row? What exercise am I going to do on Tuesdays and Thursdays and what will I do on Saturday? Shake it up and make it fun! Also, educate yourself! There are tons of diet nutrition info on the web as well as exercise videos. Reward yourself not with food but something to wear or whatever your interest maybe. Hang in there! I am just getting back from the pit myself and it feels good to eat a bowl of fresh fruit. :wink:
  • dongi
    dongi Posts: 11 Member
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    Hi...

    I don't know if this will help, but I noticed a theme in your note about not being able to accept the "restrictions" on your food intake which results in you binging...the "restrictions" create an almost irresistible desire to eat unhealthy things...

    One of the most important ideas that lead many to self-destructive behaviors (especially eating disorders) is exactly that...when a person feels that they are powerless, defeated and have no control over anything in their lives, they demonstrate control over the one thing they can: food. (i.e. if somebody or something says I shouldn't have this...I'll show them...I just will!)

    Lots of times, people who suffer from anorexia or bulimia experience these feelings and it might make sense for you to journal exactly what you were feeling just before the binge and most importantly why or who contributed to those negative feelings. Journaling can be an important tool because it allows you to detect trends or patterns. Identifying those patterns is the first step toward mastering them...

    I don't know if this will be useful or not, but I just wanted to say that you are not alone. So many of us here deal with the same types of issues...sometimes well...sometimes not...one day/one hour at a time is all that you need for success because all those minutes and hours and days add up.

    Good luck....
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    You really need to adjust your thinking when it comes to food. You seem to have an unhealthy relationship with it. I have a sweet tooth too, but I don't generally have problems controlling it. I actually created a food category in my diary just for it. That way I can't really deceive myself about how much I already have. Maybe that method could help you.
  • Lolli1986
    Lolli1986 Posts: 500 Member
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    I used to engage what seemed like this sort of 'rebellion against self'... that is what I thought it was, anyway, but i found that strategies that targeted the idea that i was rebelling against my own restrictions did not work.

    So i investigated my behaviour a little more... i thought about and wrote down what it is that i am thinking when i am over-eating sweets. Then I thought about what other things I DO when i am thinking about similar things.

    It turns out that when I am thinking about certain problems in a certain way (usually a repetitive thought pattern), I ALWAYS engage in some form of self-destructive repetitive behaviour. Eating chocolate was one behaviour among many.

    Once I understood how and why my thinking triggered my behaviour, I have been able to apply the right strategies when i feel an urge.

    If you really are rebelling against self-imposed restrictions, certain reasoning strategies should have an effect. For example, reminding yourself of the current restrictions created by your weight may help, while refocusing on your goals and the steps you can take to achieve them.

    If it really is compulsive eating there could be something more complex going on.

    I've got about 25lbs to lose too. :)
  • StevLL
    StevLL Posts: 921 Member
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    First this is not easy and you will have good and bad days. The idea is to string more good than bad together to find long term success. Some suggestions that helped me as I am an emotional eater, especially stress.
    1st - if I bite it I write it! - close your diary for a while if you don't want others to see, but it helps to track the overage days and at the end of the day I started to log what was going on for me throughout the day that stressed me out. I was able to finally see how my eating was more about where I was at emotionally and not so much because I was hungry. Sounds easy, but it means taking a hard look at ourselves beyond food choices.

    2nd - find things that help you with any stress, anxiety, or other emotions that come up for you. Meditation, journaling, excercise when you feel like binging and set little reminders around the house. We posted positive affirmations everywhere that really helped remind me of the reason for the journey.

    3rd - cut yourself some slack. We didn't put this extta weight on in a day, so it takes some time to redirect ourselves. Also (if I read it wrong I apologize) it seemed you felt like maybe you shouldn't feel the way you do because you don't have a lot to lose. It doesn't matter if you have 1lb or 300lbs to lose. If you are feeling unhappy about where you are that is your feeling and don't compare to others as this is your personal unique journey.

    Good luck and I hope you find your groove that gets you where you want to be.
    This is the best place to be the folks here are great and I have found that even when I have stumbled I have always gotton great support.
  • Sp1nGoddess
    Sp1nGoddess Posts: 1,138 Member
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    I felt that way about smoking until one day I knew I would & could quit. Once you get past that feeling of being deprived and needing sweet's it's very freeing. I think that sweets are harder as they are everywhere and friends & family push them on you.

    I read about one trick where you fill a cabinet with treats, everything you love. Then enjoy it when you want to - after a while you will realize that when you can have them any time you want they lose their appeal. I'm not recommending that but you should not feel deprived.

    I agree with starting with small changes. Sugar is as addictive as cocaine. It does crazy things to your mind and body.

    http://thechronicleherald.ca/artslife/77073-coming-clean-about-eating

    Tosca advocates going cold turkey but that would not work for me... = )

    You must understand that you do deserve to be healthy. You can do it. Tell yourself that you CAN have all the sweets you WANT but you can CHOOSE not to have them, that is empowering!

    Try having fruit or dark chocolate before a craving hits.

    I also agree that high protein and healthy fat keep you satisfied and less likely to have a blood sugar drop that sends you to the cookie jar.

    Good luck!
  • pinkiekat
    pinkiekat Posts: 39
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    Hi, I do agree with several of the responses that it would be good to figure out what is behind the binge eating. Are you hungry? Or trying to feed emotions? Or miss the taste of the sweets? Also some people say that you can even be addicted to sugar, which can take some time to over come. I know I can't keep cookies, chocolate, cupcakes, or items like that in the house cause they won't last the night. If I'm gonna eat something like that I need to just buy one and eat it. Then stop. If I bring a whole bag home, I'm doomed. =o) Another idea is to possibly find some healthier sweet tasting alternatives as well and attempt to eat them in moderation. I've found that frozen yogurt places are yummy and a healthier alternative for me. You just have to stay away from the toppings. another thing you might look at is your protien intake. I've found that if I don't have enough protien in my diet now that I'm eating healthier that I get tired and very hungry. I drink chocolate flavored protien shakes and eat peanut butter chocolate think thin bars (no more then one a day). Hope some of this helps. They always say the first step to changing something is realizing that you have something to change. Don't be too hard on yourself. We all have habits we need to change and it takes time. You can do it!!
  • mammothdoll
    mammothdoll Posts: 58
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    I have this uncontrollable, compulsive eating. I don't even enjoy sweets when I eat them, but BECAUSE I think "I should only eat a little of them every day" it makes me want to break out of that restriction and eat more sweets than I ever even did before I started trying to eat healthier!!!

    Please no condescending or critical comments.

    Right now I am filled with a certain level of self-disgust. I'm not all-out hating myself, but this makes no sense to me:

    I start eating healthier. I feel great, and I have sweets in moderation. But I hate feeling restricted!!! It seems to CREATE even more temptation. And its led me to start binging. And I go further downhill until most of my calories are not healthy ones. There's no real point in checking out my diary if you wanted, because I don't record the days that I have blown!

    I exercise regularly. Cardiovascularly, I am pretty damn healthy, and can work out a lot and often. I am just not losing weight because I overeat on the sweets. I tell myself, "think of all the hard work I've done exercising". But that doesn't stop me.

    My mom said to me, "maybe you don't really want to lose weight right now." A friend has told me that I don't really need to lose weight. And I just think, "come on, if you weighed as much as I did, you would be so unhappy." Which at the same time is selfish of me to say, because I'm only overweight by about 25 pounds.

    I feel like I need help. I feel like I can't do this. I feel like I am weak-willed and have no self-control.

    Just take a solid month. Watch your triggers. Take notes. A journal would help.

    A counselor would also be a really good idea.

    When you have a solid grasp of what triggers you, then you can start to change.

    Good luck!

    Keep us posted.
  • nasja1984
    nasja1984 Posts: 98 Member
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    It may just be some sort of psychological hang-up you've got. Maybe it would help to talk to a doctor or psychologist about it, maybe your mother is right, you just aren't ready. There is some reason you are having this internal struggle with yourself.
  • LinzCurlyQ
    LinzCurlyQ Posts: 94 Member
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    One thing that helped me was logging days regardless if I went way over my calories or not. It was a like a free pass when I wasn't logging bad days. It wasn't there for me to see that it happened, so I never had an consequences with my actions. It may help to start logging regardless of how many calroies you eat in a day.
  • kmacgera
    kmacgera Posts: 137 Member
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    I tried to focus on how very crappy I felt after eating the junk foods and I think it really helped.

    ^^^ this is one key; focus on the negatives of unwanted behavior, and conversely, focus on the positives of desired behavior. All our little brains want to do is avoid pain and embrace pleasure. AND the brain is extremely suggestible, so start making the suggestions you want it to believe!

    "Sweets and junk make me feel crappy"
    "Salads taste better not drenched in dressing"
    "Fresh fruits and veggies are my favorite foods, make me feel good, actually fill me up"
    "Exercise fills me with energy for the rest of the day"

    Think of some more that suit your situation.

    Eventually your brain will believe what you say. Dumb but true. Who'da thought that your brain is dumb?
  • blg5
    blg5 Posts: 89 Member
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    I try not to buy alot of sweets or unhealthy snacks at the supermarket. I have found that I am an emotional eater and during times of stress I consume large amounts of calories very quickly (binge eating). You have to take advantage of the times when your will power is at its best and plan ahead to not have things in your house you can grab and eat to quickly. If you have to cook your meal (not in the microwave) then this gives you time to calm your emotion at that moment. I always log my calories especially the days when I go way above what I should have eaten. When the week is over I review the previous week and plan ahead to prevent making the same mistakes.
  • fluffysexyme
    fluffysexyme Posts: 104 Member
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    Ah, sweets are my devil too. I must have one a day. So, here is what works for me: I have them at night.
    Simple right?
    If I start eating them early in the day, I want dessert with every meal and for every snack and maybe an extra one just because it's Tuesday... you get the drift. I have learned that if I try to remove them I binge like a mo fo... like you said, seriously, all of my calories will be from m&m/mars company or hershey's. But, I found that if I have them before bed I do not crave them and am less likely to let it get out of control.
  • lohitverma
    lohitverma Posts: 161 Member
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    Relax. There's one key factor you need to remember. The big secret...
    You're human - you make mistakes.
    Honestly, stressing doesn't help you at all. Make a mistake. Note it. Fix it. Move on with your day. That's it.

    If you really struggle with feeling restricted, look into a cheat day or meal once a week to eat whatever you want.
    couldnt have said it better
  • ParisArkw
    ParisArkw Posts: 186
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    Am honestly overwhelmed by the amount of support and comfort here. I thank EACH and every one of you for your reply. I now have some idea of how to move forward from here.
  • carlachristinewhite
    carlachristinewhite Posts: 90 Member
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    i love eating sweets, I don't think I can stop eating them especially after eating a meal. I don't like depriving myself, but what I really do is portion control. Say, if I wanted a flan, instead of eating a cup of it, I just eat like a quarter of it, just to satisfy the urge to eat sweets. If you look at my diary, no matter how often I get over my sugar limit, I don't feel guilty about it because I work so damn hard working out and I should not feel punished or sacrifice something just for the sake of losing weight. I don't want to be a slave and I have come a long way adjusting my diet since I started MFP and P90X. That doesn't mean I will become a health freak and avoid the sweets I have grown to love. I just have to find ways to lessen but NOT eliminate it. I understand the feeling as I felt that once too, but when I modify, stop being neurotic over waiting for my weight to drop, I concentrated more on developing my form during workouts, finding the satisfaction out of it, planning my food ahead and most especially, to use alternative sweets that will help me lessen my cravings for sweets such as eating more fruits or sugar free desserts.


    Goodluck and also, regardless of accounting the sweets and you went over, this will help you curve your diet eventhough you went over the limit.
  • echoica
    echoica Posts: 339 Member
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    If it's really compulsive overeating, like binge eating, you should probably find a psychologist.

    This ^
  • megsmom2
    megsmom2 Posts: 2,362 Member
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    Don't be too hard on yourself. If eating healthy all the time were easy, we wouldn't all be here together, would we? It is simple....but it sure isn't easy. Hang in there, treat yourself with a little compassion, and maybe get some help from a professional to help you face your issues. You can do this. One day at a time, one meal at a time. Even one brownie at a time. You can do this.
  • issyfit
    issyfit Posts: 1,077 Member
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    I completely lost my sweet cravings after two weeks on phase 1 of the South Beach plan. This seems to work for a lot of people. I hope you find a solution.
  • borrisbeccer
    borrisbeccer Posts: 4 Member
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    No need for a therapist, you are totally normal. I love my sweets too. It's as mentally hard if not more hard to resist eating sweets as it is physically. What I did is replace it with fruit. Your body will start getting used to eating healthy, you just gotta give it time. I have a really hard time eating sweets now because I feel like crap after, not only mentally but physically as well. It's made it easier to resist sweets knowing how crappy you feel after. Just be patient and do your best. Maybe snack on some dark chocolate chips. That helped me a ton. It's ok to get discouraged, it's great motivation and it will all work itself out eventually :) good luck and stay motivated!!!!!

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