NSV: I feel sexy and you are never going to get to see. . .

I have always (for the most part) been comfortable with / in my body, and have tried to embrace my body for the body it is. I try to dress nice, in well-fitting clothes. Have my main wardrobe for every day wear. A few sexier pieces for a night on the town. And have even sexier pieces for those nights in.

I may not have large breasts, and I may have some extra around the middle, etc. but again, I have always tried to embrace it and can feel sexy in it.

Despite, that, I do know that I would be better off, in many ways, if I lost a few pounds.

As of this morning, I am down 16.2 lbs. since decided to lose some weight, and down 19 lbs. from my heaviest – just at ½ way to my first goal.

Although I am doing well, I was feeling bad for myself yesterday for several reasons (see yesterday’s blog post).

So I do not know why. Well, maybe I know why. (Keep reading for the why.) But when I got home from work, just now, I decided to try on a few of my nighties that my ex always loved me to wear.

And I felt sexy!

I felt sexier then I use to in them.

Including in the nightie that I bought for a special occasion that never happened because he was being an *kitten*. I am not going to go into all the details about that but needless to say I spent way too much money on a romantic weekend away that he did not join me on.

After slipping several on, I was feeling really sexy. But, I had to slip them off and put on appropriate pajamas to take the dog out.

While I was walking the dog, I realized that not only did I feel sexy; he is never going to get to see it. And I felt bad for just a moment. But, then I realized, “Oh well. . .your loss!”

And I needed all of that.

I needed all of that for several reasons, including the fact that tomorrow would have been our 2 year anniversary.

Now, just to find someone who truly wants to embrace the beautiful sexy me that I already am, and that I am going to become.