Lack of Support at home/Need to vent

Missed your comment that he is "not one to talk". I would just state that if he isn't going to make supportive comments then follow the rule of Thumper. "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." If he makes a comment ask if he wants to talk about it. He will either stop or engage in a discussion. Try to cut it off right away.

Lack of support sucks...especially at home. My husband is supportive of me, but he doesn't help me. Does that make sense? He just rolls his eyes and tells me he thinks I look fine, but won't discourage me from doing anything.

I think the best way to handle it is to come on here and vent. I have always thought that those people who can't support me or at least keep their negative comments/opinions to themselves should not be a part of my life, however it's a little hard to say that when it's your husband or any other family member. Maybe write down how it makes you feel and let him read it. I think it's important that he understand how much all this means to you.

Sorry I couldn't be more help. =( Always here to listen if you feel the need to vent.

Just look at them and realize they will be dead sooner than you and then you can enjoy your healthy lifestyle with someone who can appreciate it.

Talk about lack of support. I have always enjoyed working out, but have done it pretty much daily since Sept. 2011. Last night after my first P90X workout, my husband said to me "What are you aiming for anyway? Do you think you are going to get ripped or something?" He was very sarcastic about it. I know he doesn't want to join me in this journey, but a little support would be nice. Does anyone else have this problem? I am feeling so frustrated and alone. I have tried everything in the past to get him to join me, but he always says no. He refuses to eat healthy, take care of himself, or even go for a short walk with me. He thinks I am "obsessed" with this. He has even gone to the point of saying "I don't know why you are working so hard to be healthy, you could still drop dead tomorrow." I am at a total loss. Any suggestions? He is not one to "talk" about these issues and typically blows me off or changes the subject. If you have lack of support at home, how do you get through it and not feel so alone?

Do it for yourself and maybe he will catch up. If not, you still won!

OMG this is exactly how my hubby was when I stepped up my workouts and went from 2-3 a week to 6 a week. He said to me "So now you're going to be jumping around the lounge every night?" My reply was YESSS!!! Then I get "Aren't you getting obsessed with this?" My reply was, No I'm dedicated!!:bigsmile:

He then complained about how he couldn't watch TV with my 'jumping around'....this from a man who doesn't watch TV and says people that do are dumb, LOL!!!!

Anyway, he's now very supportive, has even joined my with some of my workouts!!

So, bascially ignore him and carry on!

It is just recently that my husband has become supportive of my weight loss. He likes to eat out ALOT, and that is not really easy when trying to make a lifestyle change. Once he saw how excited I got when the scale creeps down, he got excited too.

so sweet!!

Unfortunately the only person you can control is you. Just keep on doing what you are doing to be healthy. He may eventually see the light and get on board--or not. Comments should just be met with " I am in control of my body and I am doing this for me". Maybe he will see your results and get on board. If not, you are headed in the right direction. Good luck.

I agree with all the above comments

I personally would just flip him the middle finger and start strutting my healthy fit self around him and make him realize what he could lose if he keeps up with his crappy attitude.

My family was not very supportive when I started (I think because they were afraid it would rub off on them!), but they got more supportive when they got to the point where they could trust that I wasn't going to try to force them to change just because I was changing.

My husband was also quite dismissive of my doing P90X at the beginning, but I did get ripped, and he stopped laughing.

I did get ripped, and he stopped laughing. haha i love it!!!!

I'd guess it may be less about jealousy than about the fear that you're going to leave him behind. In my (somewhat limited) experience he may be concerned that if you get fit and healthy, you won't be attracted to or interested in him anymore. He probably needs reassurance that you're not going anywhere and you love him the way he is... but you still want to be healthy and you hope that eventually he'll want that for himself and your relationship too. Then just go about your business and try not to make him feel bad about where he's at. He has to get there in his own time... and in the same vein, he has to let you do your thing, so cut him off before he starts rolling his eyes or making you feel bad about what you're doing. You're going to be happy and healthy!!

I had no support either at the beginning - in fact he suddenly began bringing him donuts and candy bars, etc. He would say "oh, you can have a bite of this.." but, here is the fact. I kept at it. I didn't make him change anything. I fixed him his same foods but made my healthier stuff. I continued at it and didn't complain about what he was eating and just kept at it. About a year into it, he seemed to realize it wasn't a fad. He drove me to my first race. that afternoon he said he could eat whole wheat pasta so I didn't have to fix two kinds. Then he began saying he could eat more of what I was eating. He supported me in more races. He stopped bringing home crap. For Valentine's day he bought me the Garmin I wanted. For my birthday he bought me a bike and now he wants to ride it. It was a very slow and steady progress but now that I've lost 80+ pounds and am running and biking, he is not only supportive of me but wants to make changes in himself.

Changes in one spouse scares the heck out of the other person. They fear that the comfortable status quo will change. They fear their newly changed spouse whether the changes are intellectual (going back to college) or physical (fitness). We marry someone in theory because we love them that way and when they begin to make changes that can really upset the apple cart. It is important to let our partner know that we are doing the changes for ourselves and because we want to be able to share an even better life with them....that we love them and that they are not in danger. We encourage them slowly and gently to grow WITH us so that together we can be the best we can be.... but sometimes we just need to give them time to process these changes and get comfortable with these new things and not try to brow beat them into accepting. Try to be gentle and not uproot them too much as they see our example and see that we aren't going anywhere.... different people handle change differently -some will get *****y, cranky, sarcastic; some will get hurt and silent; some will just take the challenge and jump in. But over it all, keep loving them but keep loving yourself and know that you are worth it and you don't need the other person's support to do it - you can do it all by yourself and just hope that eventually he will catch up with you and realize that you aren't going anywhere and you love him, regardless of your body shape.

Maybe he is afraid that if you get fit you will leave him. Just ignore his comments and go about you business. As far as the eatting healthy, if you do the shopping and the cooking then he will have to eat what you make. If he doesn't want to eat what you cook then tell him to cook his own. You and your kids can eat healthy. Good luck with your journey!! Hang in there I'm syre after a while things will get better.