Need some advice, please!
KelseyPalmtree
Posts: 89
in Chit-Chat
Okay, so for the last couple months (probably more, but I've only noticed lately) I've been finding that my food has been going missing. I live with three roommates, who are all part of my volleyball team, and they often leave the front door unlocked. Even when that's not unlocked, the side door is, because one of them lost her keys, and won't pay the $5 for a new one (I'll come back to why this is important).
I've been leaving notes on the cupboards and shelves with my food on them, asking whoever it is to stop stealing the food. Normally, I would confront the culprit, but I don't know for sure who is doing it.
Today, one of my roommates started complaining about the notes, and told me that she and the other two girls have had discussions about it (great to know they're talking about me behind my back). They say that they're offended by the notes because they feel like I'm accusing them. Since I don't know which one of them it is, or which other teammate from another apartment is coming in and stealing food, I can't just address who's doing it, because no one will copt to it.
So, any suggestions on how I should handle this?
I've been leaving notes on the cupboards and shelves with my food on them, asking whoever it is to stop stealing the food. Normally, I would confront the culprit, but I don't know for sure who is doing it.
Today, one of my roommates started complaining about the notes, and told me that she and the other two girls have had discussions about it (great to know they're talking about me behind my back). They say that they're offended by the notes because they feel like I'm accusing them. Since I don't know which one of them it is, or which other teammate from another apartment is coming in and stealing food, I can't just address who's doing it, because no one will copt to it.
So, any suggestions on how I should handle this?
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Replies
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Get a storage chest that you can put a padlock on.0
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I would get a mini fridge and lockbox. It sucks having roommates and mine used to do the same to me all the time. The only other thing is sticking food dye somewhere in the food so that you can see who it is by looking at their mouth:) That was always a fun one for me!0
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Don't live with thieving women.
Every series I've seen this happen in The Ultimate Fighter, they usually swap some of the food for bodily fluids, wait until it goes missing, and then tell everyone what they've done to the thief.0 -
On a separate note, has anyone ever heard of naga/ghost chillies?0
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I have a mini fridge in my room, and that works well for the food that needs to be refrigerated. But, there's no room for another shelving unit, or box or anything in my room, or the kitchen. Plus, I've only got like 3 months left til I get to move out, and don't want to buy anything big that i'll have to haul across the country when i move.0
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Oh, I love the food dye suggestion! LOL!
The best thing you can do, to alleviate the problem is to keep your food in your room. It really sucks, and running the extra fridge is a real bummer, but this way you can monitor better. Especially if you can lock it shut! Bicycle chain, perhaps? It's really a shame you need to turn to such extremes, but at least then you don't need to worry about accusing anyone. At least, I would hope they would respect your privacy!0 -
On a separate note, has anyone ever heard of naga/ghost chillies?
I had some hot sauce with ghost chili in it. It was SOOOO GOOD!!0 -
I have a mini fridge in my room, and that works well for the food that needs to be refrigerated. But, there's no room for another shelving unit, or box or anything in my room, or the kitchen. Plus, I've only got like 3 months left til I get to move out, and don't want to buy anything big that i'll have to haul across the country when i move.
Can you lock your room,if so just get a couple of cardboard boxes and keep them in your room,trust me you can find a spot for them if you need to.
I know that isn`t the answer you want because it doesn`t fix or make right the injustice,only reacts to it.
However given the time and the issues sometimes that is the best life will hold for us so get past it and move on with living.:flowerforyou:0 -
To be honest I'd just be like well someone is stealing my food...I don't know who it is...so I'm going to carry on leaving notes until it stops. Storing your food in your room is a good idea....I do like the food dye idea as well
may remember that one 0 -
With three months to go, I would say that this is one of those times where you could win the battle, but lose the war if you spend too much time, energy, emotion on this issue. Sounds to me like you are getting ready to graduate and this is a great transition time in your life that shouldn't have a distraction from other folks who can't control themselves. As someone else said, a couple of cardboard boxes in your room won't take up that much room and, but the time you are ready to move, you'll be able to convert them into moving boxes for clothes, books, etc.
You've taken the time/effort to leave the notes, etc. and no one is coming clean on this so I wouldn't set myself up to keep getting drawn into the drama. The biggest thing that I would make sure of, if the apartment is open all the time and it's possible that someone else may be coming in and taking things, is that your individual room is secure. Someone coming in to the apartment and stealing your computer, TV, and other personal effects will make the food thief pale in comparison. Again, another one of those kinds of drama that you really don't need at this point in your life.0 -
With three months to go, I would say that this is one of those times where you could win the battle, but lose the war if you spend too much time, energy, emotion on this issue. Sounds to me like you are getting ready to graduate and this is a great transition time in your life that shouldn't have a distraction from other folks who can't control themselves. As someone else said, a couple of cardboard boxes in your room won't take up that much room and, but the time you are ready to move, you'll be able to convert them into moving boxes for clothes, books, etc.
You've taken the time/effort to leave the notes, etc. and no one is coming clean on this so I wouldn't set myself up to keep getting drawn into the drama. The biggest thing that I would make sure of, if the apartment is open all the time and it's possible that someone else may be coming in and taking things, is that your individual room is secure. Someone coming in to the apartment and stealing your computer, TV, and other personal effects will make the food thief pale in comparison. Again, another one of those kinds of drama that you really don't need at this point in your life.
Yeah, I ALWAYS make sure that my room door is closed and locked, even if I'm just going to check the mail. I do NOT trust my roommates (especially after finding out about them talking behind my back. I'll remember that next time they want my help with something) or other teammates at all.
And I suppose I could try to fit the stuff on my shelves into some boxes and put them under my desk, that way they wouldn't make my room look too cluttered or messy. I may even try to rearrange all my books and free up some bookshelf space to use for food. I'm just so tired of dealing with them. Can't someone just make time fast-forward??? Please??? lol0 -
To be honest I'd just be like well someone is stealing my food...I don't know who it is...so I'm going to carry on leaving notes until it stops. Storing your food in your room is a good idea....I do like the food dye idea as well may remember that one
I would totally dye the food, or put a TON of hot sauce in it (I LOVE spicy food, so it wouldn't been bad for me lol), BUT all the food that they take is pre-packaged. It would be hilarious to try to see whoever's stealing the food explain their way out of a green or blue mouth!! lol0 -
Get them together and tell them that someone is stealing your food, and you'll leave notes up until it stops. It doesn't matter who it is, what matters is that it's happening.
I had a slightly similar situation in which I had two roommates and someone was always leaving no toilet paper. It turns out they were both doing it.0 -
minifridge with a lock and get a cabinet for your room with a lock. get that idiot girl to buy a key, so strangers ain't coming in your house. let them know you don't know who is taking your stuff and you are just asking if they or strangers are stealing it.0
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A note with incredients listed could work...Such as: You eat this you will be sick!
or A simple note of "Thou shall not steal" on top of some specially made item with dye, hotsauce or laxative would do the trick. Have fun with it. Show them you aren't a victim...they are. Use the gossip patrol to spread the warnings of "Don't eat her food!"
If I were you I would find a way to move to another location very soon. Situations like that are very taxing on a person and drama is not worth the energy is drains. Maybe you can trade with another person they would rather live with. Ask them to find someone to take your room so you can leave.
Hope you can get out and soon be free from it all and eat in peace!0 -
'Okay, so for the last couple months (probably more, but I've only noticed lately) I've been finding that my food has been going missing. I live with three roommates, who are all part of my volleyball team, and they often leave the front door unlocked. Even when that's not unlocked, the side door is, because one of them lost her keys, and won't pay the $5 for a new one (I'll come back to why this is important).
I've been leaving notes on the cupboards and shelves with my food on them, asking whoever it is to stop stealing the food. Normally, I would confront the culprit, but I don't know for sure who is doing it.
Today, one of my roommates started complaining about the notes, and told me that she and the other two girls have had discussions about it (great to know they're talking about me behind my back). They say that they're offended by the notes because they feel like I'm accusing them. Since I don't know which one of them it is, or which other teammate from another apartment is coming in and stealing food, I can't just address who's doing it, because no one will copt to it.
So, any suggestions on how I should handle this?
Youve received some great advice here, but its obvious to me that you have to put your foot down. They came up to you and confronted you about the notes... you put your foot down as well and say "well, one of you or all of you feel the need to take my food without asking and you certainly havent been replacing it OR asking first."...
Make the effort, get a securable unit to put your food-items in and lock it up.
And.. moving forward. Dont ever offer them help with anything. Clearly they are helping THEIRSELVES to your food supply, I think you have already done your community service to their selfish needs.
Personally, I dont *****foot around when it comes to the bottom line. Ill walk up the alley of cubicles and Ive heard people talking about me. I go straight to the person I heard (and Im REALLY good at picking out voices) and remind them "If you feel the compulsion to talk about me behind my back, we can easily address your kindergarten concerns in the way you are dealing with it right now... Or, you can actually prove to me youre a real adult and can shut your mouth, stop talking about me behind my back to others and address me appropriately, otherwise, shut your mouth right now before I report you for harassment. Mind you, the managers hear me and sit back and laugh because they know I wont put up with that garbage.0 -
I have shared houses before with multiple housemates. It seemed there was always something getting "borrowed" and not returned ...food, clothes, bath towels. I even busted a male housemate walking off with my body lotion...:ohwell:
1. Don't buy any more. Get just what you need for a couple days max. It may be a pain in the behind, but then the stuff wouldn't be there for them to snitch. Keep it in a small bag/box in your room.
2. If you have a car...put it in the trunk and keep it locked. Bring in just what you need for that day.
3. Get a plastic under the bed sized container if you don't have shelf space.0 -
as far as the pre-packaged food goes, is there any way you could disguise it? or lock YOUR cabinet? for instance, possibly putting the food in a different container or box - if you like spicy food, get some containers of that, or from a health food store, or from a foreign market place with all sorts of foreign writing on it -my husband loves Sri Racha sauce, and you could ask for boxes or the case from the grocery/market and put your food in the boxes????
a humorous take- next time you notice something missing, get some crime scene tape to put across the area.... make em think? or re-arrange the cupboards - move their food to another location - like YOUR shelves- see if they notice and steal back their food? just thought maybe a little humor would help the situation.0 -
Get them together and tell them that someone is stealing your food, and you'll leave notes up until it stops. It doesn't matter who it is, what matters is that it's happening.
I had a slightly similar situation in which I had two roommates and someone was always leaving no toilet paper. It turns out they were both doing it.
I've tried that. I don't know why they keep talking s*** behind my back about it. But at this point, i really just want to write a snarky note saying something like "I don't care if it isn't you, maybe if you'd tell me who you keep inviting over, or telling that the door is unlocked, maybe I'd stop leaving notes!!" I'm so mad at them all. It's ridiculous.
And I've told all three of them MULTIPLE times that I'm not accusing them (unless they did it), and they've all said to my face that they get that, and it doesn't bother them. Then they go b**** about it behind my back. Why can't people just say things to your face when they have a problem???? It would make life so much easier and drama would be way shorter! lol.0 -
A note with incredients listed could work...Such as: You eat this you will be sick!
or A simple note of "Thou shall not steal" on top of some specially made item with dye, hotsauce or laxative would do the trick. Have fun with it. Show them you aren't a victim...they are. Use the gossip patrol to spread the warnings of "Don't eat her food!"
If I were you I would find a way to move to another location very soon. Situations like that are very taxing on a person and drama is not worth the energy is drains. Maybe you can trade with another person they would rather live with. Ask them to find someone to take your room so you can leave.
Hope you can get out and soon be free from it all and eat in peace!
I can't leave til after graduation. If i'd gone to college near my hometown, or hell, even my home state lol, I'd move out right now. But if i were to move out before graduation, i wouldn't have anywhere to live for the next two months. And these girls being b****es isn't worth taking out another lease somewhere else.0 -
'Okay, so for the last couple months (probably more, but I've only noticed lately) I've been finding that my food has been going missing. I live with three roommates, who are all part of my volleyball team, and they often leave the front door unlocked. Even when that's not unlocked, the side door is, because one of them lost her keys, and won't pay the $5 for a new one (I'll come back to why this is important).
I've been leaving notes on the cupboards and shelves with my food on them, asking whoever it is to stop stealing the food. Normally, I would confront the culprit, but I don't know for sure who is doing it.
Today, one of my roommates started complaining about the notes, and told me that she and the other two girls have had discussions about it (great to know they're talking about me behind my back). They say that they're offended by the notes because they feel like I'm accusing them. Since I don't know which one of them it is, or which other teammate from another apartment is coming in and stealing food, I can't just address who's doing it, because no one will copt to it.
So, any suggestions on how I should handle this?
Youve received some great advice here, but its obvious to me that you have to put your foot down. They came up to you and confronted you about the notes... you put your foot down as well and say "well, one of you or all of you feel the need to take my food without asking and you certainly havent been replacing it OR asking first."...
Make the effort, get a securable unit to put your food-items in and lock it up.
And.. moving forward. Dont ever offer them help with anything. Clearly they are helping THEIRSELVES to your food supply, I think you have already done your community service to their selfish needs.
Personally, I dont *****foot around when it comes to the bottom line. Ill walk up the alley of cubicles and Ive heard people talking about me. I go straight to the person I heard (and Im REALLY good at picking out voices) and remind them "If you feel the compulsion to talk about me behind my back, we can easily address your kindergarten concerns in the way you are dealing with it right now... Or, you can actually prove to me youre a real adult and can shut your mouth, stop talking about me behind my back to others and address me appropriately, otherwise, shut your mouth right now before I report you for harassment. Mind you, the managers hear me and sit back and laugh because they know I wont put up with that garbage.
I decided to put anything that they would steal in my room. I cleaned out a bunch of book shelf space and moved it all. One of the girls was giving me snarky looks the whole time. If she says anything, i'm going to verbally slap her lol.
Unless I have proof, I usually don't confront them, but enough is enough. I'm tired of them being b****es and taking advantage of me, and the fact that I'm a nice person and help them out when they need it. I've told them so many times that i've lost count, that if they are that hungry, to just ASK me if they can have some.
But yeah, they're not getting any help anymore. They can call me a b**** if they want, but I'm tired of being nice to people that aren't nice back. I'm done with it. They're not worth my time.
Thanks for the pep talk 0 -
I have been in roommate hell before and man, it can get emotionally consuming. Honestly, the notes aren't doing anything helpful. They know you are mad and they don't care. Just keep your things in your room or car. Graduating college is huge. Give that the attention it deserves and hopefully you won't ever have to see those two wenches again, ever.0
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I had issues with one of my roommates stealing my ****ing food (excuse the language but I HATED it)... seriously she didn't buy her own food ever she always mooched off of me and the other two girls. If I were you I'd leave some foods in the trunk of your car (that way it won't cause issues and they won't know the food exists). Other than that... I'd start putting food in your own thing (like your own bins or fridge... but I know that'll only cause more tension in the household)0
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Been there, done that. It sucks.
I suggest calling a house meeting. Post-it notes are not fun for anyone to come across. You need to address them in person, let them know you are serious. Even if they don't cop to it, maybe they'll at least stop doing it.
Otherwise, get a black sharpie and starting writing your name on everything. I'd also mark the level of fullness on things like milk jugs or cereal boxes. It's sneaky and not nice, but they should take notice.0
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