Almost ready to date.....eek!

Mexrose
Mexrose Posts: 46
edited November 12 in Chit-Chat
March 20 will be my six month anniversary since I started MFP. I have lost almost three sizes and regained a new sense of confidence. With that confidence, I am about ready to tip my toes in the dating pool. Eek!

I would love to hear stories from others who have had this type of experience or about to embark on your own "single and ready to mingle" journey.

Questions for the ones about to date: What are you most excited about? Nervous about anything?

Those who have already been out there: Tell me what was best about going out in your "new" self. Did you love trying on tons of clothes that looked wonderful on you? What advice would you give me or others?

I appreciate the feedback.

Replies

  • def000
    def000 Posts: 1
    me to girl !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so siked!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Frisky_CoastalNative
    Frisky_CoastalNative Posts: 140
    I told you my journey...Go get 'em!!! Your a hot MAMA now :tongue:
  • cowboydan43
    cowboydan43 Posts: 306 Member
    Congrats on your weight loss so far! I will say trying on clothes is much more enjoyable now that I'm not super sized, although I still have my "fat days." Take your new found confidence& run with it =) Go get 'em!
  • bigbeardiver
    bigbeardiver Posts: 154 Member
    Of course this is a guys perception but my journey started with filing for divorce several years ago when i was between 280-305 lbs. Not having much to do I hit the gym, ate healthy and got out and enjoyed life. My one take away from the experience over the last several years that I wish I could bottle up and give away was around confidence. My attiitude was I didn't care what others thought of what I looked like, still don't. I am what I am, right now, subject to change without notice. The right person will come along and walk side by side with you in your journey. Of course it might have been my 4 year old son pulling off my swim suit at the gym pool that raised the confidence levels, lets face it one child hanging from each side of your muffin top/love handles while your bare butt is hanging out, tends to change your prospective of things.

    Don't hide yourself away, go out and mingle regardless of where you are in your goals. Be happy and surround yourself with people you can be happy with. After all this is a LIFE transformation not a fad diet. Living healthy has its challenges and rewards and being part of a bigger group that you find support in makes it all that much easier. Plus when you find the right person that finds you interesting where you are now, it is just a bonus for them to share in your continued transformation. The right person might even be able to help motiviate you when you need it. Go out and date and be happy. It is a slow process for some, it is frustrating for others, you have your ups and downs, just step out the door with the attitude that you are going out to have a wonderful date and for better or worse you are going to learn something from the experience.

    If that doesn't work I can refer you to my mother who after being widowed for several years, met a "nice" guy at church and then proceeded to ask me about when you first start dating someone, how you get over the nervious feelings of being intimate with someone the very first time. After trying an analogy about riding I bike, I just hung up the phone. That will wake you up!

    Best of luck!
  • newmein2013
    newmein2013 Posts: 674 Member
    I agree with everything bigbear said and just want to add, be true to yourself, don't try to be someone you're not. The most important thing I've learned is people will stay in a relationship even when they know it's not right so you have to be strong enough to trust your instincts and have an attitude of you'd rather be alone and happy than with someone and unhappy. Best of luck
  • AllanMisner
    AllanMisner Posts: 4,140 Member
    Join us at Single Peeps - http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/299-single-peeps-. It is a very supportive group of weight losing singles who really do a great job supporting each other in both battles.
  • bigbeardiver
    bigbeardiver Posts: 154 Member
    The most important thing I've learned is people will stay in a relationship even when they know it's not right so you have to be strong enough to trust your instincts and have an attitude of you'd rather be alone and happy than with someone and unhappy.

    One lesson I didn't learn ... 8(
  • escloflowneCHANGED
    escloflowneCHANGED Posts: 3,038 Member
    I'm still not ready yet, it's funny because my buddy now weighs 10lbs more than me(which he hates haha) and he is always pushing me to date and go on dating sites but I guess he doesn't understand I'm not ready and don't feel comfortable with myself yet.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    If that doesn't work I can refer you to my mother who after being widowed for several years, met a "nice" guy at church and then proceeded to ask me about when you first start dating someone, how you get over the nervious feelings of being intimate with someone the very first time. After trying an analogy about riding I bike, I just hung up the phone. That will wake you up!

    OMG I would have died.
    The most important thing I've learned is people will stay in a relationship even when they know it's not right so you have to be strong enough to trust your instincts and have an attitude of you'd rather be alone and happy than with someone and unhappy.

    One lesson I didn't learn ... 8(

    Yeah, this is important. I dated a guy recently, and I really wanted it to work out because we had a lot of fun together and had a lot in common, but the romantic chemistry just wasn't there. Every time we were together, I felt like I was hanging out with a friend. I just never had those feelings of giddy euphoria that you're "supposed" to have, and I would tell myself that it's because we were grown-ups and that sort of thing doesn't happen in grown-up relationships, but I knew that wasn't true. We spent 2 months kidding ourselves before going our separate ways.

    One piece of advice I would offer ... understand that the majority of men you date are not going to turn into boyfriends. I know it sounds obvious. But I think women frequently make the mistake of letting their imaginations run wild before a first date, picturing this man as their next boyfriend and/or husband. All it does is make them so nervous that they can't think or function rationally on the date out of fear that they may jeopardize their entire future. Just relax, and be in the moment. You'll feel and act more like the real you. And don't get discouraged if things don't work out. Keep giving each man your best effort.

    Also, don't look for or settle for a man who merely accepts you as you are. He shouldn't just "accept" you; he should want you desperately, and you should feel the same way about him. If those feelings don't exist, don't waste time trying to convince yourself that they'll show up someday. They probably won't, and when the right man comes along, you don't want to be stuck in a dead-end relationship with the wrong one.
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