Anyone else struggling with support at home?

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Don't get me wrong. My SO is one of my biggest supporters. He brings me up when I am down, and motivates me to work out when i don't want to, and he tells me on an almost daily basis how proud he is of me. But I really wanted to start focusing on strength training. I got the NROLFW last night. I want to start the C25k program on April 9 (when I complete the 30DS). I want to join a gym. I need more than the 5 pound free weights I have at home. I need some instruction to ensure that I have the proper form, and I am completing the exercises I need to achieve my goals. So I set up a tour of the gym I’d like to join. I was so excited, so I called him to tell him I have an appointment tonight. He didn’t say no, but he was very discouraging about the whole thing. He is worried about the money. He’s not sure I will use the gym, and it will be a waste of money. It feels like he doesn’t believe in me. And now he’s got me second guessing myself. What if he’s right?

Replies

  • Sl1ghtly
    Sl1ghtly Posts: 855 Member
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    I'm sure there is something you could do to convince him.
  • freezerburn2012
    freezerburn2012 Posts: 273 Member
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    All you can do is actually use the gym to prove it won't be a waste of money. Actions speak louder than words, right?
  • Ephena
    Ephena Posts: 615 Member
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    Sit down with him and look at your budget, if there is money in the budget for the gym then you should go for it. You've listed very good reasons for wanting a gym membership and the only way you will know if the gym is going to work out for you is to give it a try. A one month trial can hardly be a huge waste of money, getting in shape is all about trial and error when it comes to finding what works best for you.

    I'm not personally one way or the other about gyms. As a single mom who works full time and has my kids all the time unless I can pay a sitter I have very little time to go to the gym. If I could afford a gym membership (family one at that) I would probably find a way to make it there several times a week but my budget tends to squeak as is so I am very happy with the workout routines and dvds I do at home, I have made them work very well for me.
  • giggles1973
    giggles1973 Posts: 143 Member
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    Can you do a 2 week trial to see if it's something that you would like? They usually let you go for 1-2 weeks for free. Or you can try out a gym that has month to month contracts :) I personally like working out at home. I've joined gyms but I felt like I did and used the same things all the time. So I bought an elliptical, a stationary bike and all of Jillian's DVDs. All worked out to be cheaper then paying for a membership every month. What ever you decide... You will do great :smile:
  • jenjmurray
    jenjmurray Posts: 10 Member
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    A gym is good if you are the type of person who does better outside of the home. I am not familiar with the programs you have mentioned but I use P90X at home and I have 3 sets of weights (you can purchase very cheap at Walmart or Target) and 3 types of resistance bands. The workouts are awesome and alot cheaper than a gym membership. Dont get me wrong we have a gym membership but I find I dont really use it anymore except for the pool. Think about it before you make the committment. Maybe the gym will give a week trial for free or month to month. Explore your options.
  • Lula16
    Lula16 Posts: 628 Member
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    the way i see it, pay the gym membership so you will HAVE to go. even if he wont go with you or sign up, maybe he'll change his mind later after seeing you go to the gym consistantly. good luck!
  • squishycow7
    squishycow7 Posts: 820 Member
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    my boyfriend's not discouraging... but he's certainly not ENcouraging, either.

    he refers to working out as "silly girl things." when I say I don't have enough calories for a bigger/another portion of dinner, he says I'm lame.

    not to mention he does next to nothing to improve his health or fitness, so I certainly do not have a role model!

    & I absolutely hate this. I wrote an angry blog about it yesterday, lol

    P.S. I do not think your man is right about that. You're showing dedication. If in a month or 2 you really aren't using it, you can quit it, but I see absolutely NO reason to not give it a try! Just go for it.
  • chatipati1
    chatipati1 Posts: 211 Member
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    See, when I read this, I think..hey...this is what you want to do...You don't need the family support. You are the one who got yourself here...but on a brighter note...you can go for a trial at the gym.. I did and it wasn't for me. Look up Harley Pastornik... or "the Revolution" tv show. He shows you exercises to do w/o going to a gym. Not everyone can afford a gym or likes it...and still get fit doing other things.
  • ahealthy4u
    ahealthy4u Posts: 442 Member
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    Try a Jazzercise class they are fun and you do weights with dance it is fun. I just started and I am enjoying myself and I am the most uncoordinated person around LOL!!! Don’t fret over what everyone else thinks. DO IT FOR Y.O.U.

    I know when people say something to me they are either really excited for me or just jealous that I am working towards a goal they want and don’t want to take the effort to do so. It has taken my husband to get on board with me 8 years and he is just now starting to see the results he has the opposite effect though he needs to gain not lose. But he is slowly coming around and understanding the whole process and big pictures. Good Luck to you and don’t fret just do it for YOU!!!!!
  • JennieAL
    JennieAL Posts: 1,726 Member
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    This is VERY similar to what I encountered when I started lifting... my husband was very skeptical and is naturally a penny pincher... so I knew I'd have to convince him. I basically just buried myself in it... I became obsessed. Which is how I approach anything I'm interested in anyway. I bought NROLFW, Starting Strength... read StrongLifts, etc. I ate, slept and breathed it for two solid months. I used his ****ty weights he brought with him when we got married, his old bench/squat rack... they suck, and they are a mishmash that really pissed me off at first... he has an oly bar but only two 45 lbs plates! LOL... so, I have a calculator and I count out the stupid regular weights and use the smaller bar each time... and I've been doing this for two months now. My *kitten* looks really, really good... and my husband likes it. And he is really surprised I'm STILL doing it...

    Now he peruses Craigslist looking for a power rack for our garage... WIN!! He's on board after two months of me digging in and doing this, learning it from reading books that are rather boring at times, but I want a squatter's *kitten* and nice arms/shoulders bad enough that I'm still doing it... sometimes in the morning, sometimes at midnight... I keep doing it, so he has to notice!!

    Good luck, stick with it if you like it and want it bad enough... he will notice. All the *****ing and yelling in the world won't work like consistency will.
  • Graciecny
    Graciecny Posts: 303
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    I'm sure there is something you could do to convince him.
    How did I know this comment came from a guy?! :laugh:

    Seriously, though, I agree with what someone suggested about a budget meeting. Money can cause a lot of stress, but gyms don't always have to be expensive either, from what I've seen. I pay a little over $70 a month, but it is for the whole family (DH works out there, and the kids are getting free swim lessons currently). I saw some peeps paying like $99 for three months, or even for a whole year! Check it out, see about a trial membership.

    Also, if it were me I'd be willing to list what I could give up (lunches out, mad money, make more economical meals, etc) to make it float. I wouldn't want money worries to come between me and my hubby, but if I want to join a gym, I'm going to do what I can to make it happen! JMHO, of course.
  • Aeriesified
    Aeriesified Posts: 206 Member
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    Tell him that if he lets you, he gets a little cardio when you get home from the gym. ;D He'll be pushing you out the door to go, haha!

    In all seriousness, though, there are some great ideas in this thread. See if you can line up a bunch of free trials at different gyms back to back and see which one you like best. You could get several weeks for free out of it if you plan it just right. :D

    The budget meeting is also a fantastic idea, as is making a list of what areas in your budget to trim to make room for it. Hell, if you can find enough spots, maybe you can make gym bonding time for the two of you with a second membership.
  • athinnerme16
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    yes i am the only one at home trying to lose weight and its super hard. i wish everyone, everywhere i went was on a diet also. Things would be easier, lol. i guess that would be too easy.
  • PurpleGyrl13
    PurpleGyrl13 Posts: 84 Member
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    You need to do what YOU want to do. If you want to join a gym, then go for it. I was one of those people who thought "oh I'll work out at home" and bought all kinds of equipment, DVDs, etc., would start them and then got bored or just didn't have time. Finally my good friend suggested we join together. She was doing a yoga class, but was restricted to 1 night a week and if she worked late or had something with her kids, she missed it and that was it.

    We like the idea of being able to go to the gym whenever we want and not being limited to a certain night/time of the week.

    At first, my husband, was like "you don't need a gym....just follow me around for a few days and you'll lose weight". He has his own business in home improvement/construction and can still wear clothes from when he graduated high school (he'll be 45). Makes ya sick, doesn't it???

    But when we joined the gym, we only did the month-to-month and not the 24 month contract. It may cost a little more, but if we decide that it's not for us or we just don't want to do it anymore, we can get out of it.
  • jplord
    jplord Posts: 510 Member
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    Two points:
    First, I found a local gym offering $10/month memberships with no commitment; CHUZE. Maybe there is something similar where you are?
    Second, the financial arguement may be his way of defending his recreational budget. He's possibly thinking the money might come out of his needs/fun. See if there isa something in the budget you can reduce. Typically this is eating out/take out/Starbucks funds. Bringing my lunch from home saves us $120 month - that's more than you need for a membership.

    Good luck
  • 4thehardman
    4thehardman Posts: 731 Member
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    I struggle with this too. I want to be able to go to a gym but ours closes at 8pm so in order for me to get there at 7pm to work out for around 1 hour, my husband would have to put the kids to bed on his own. Since the triplets all still share a room, this is not always easy and so he won't do it (although I do it on my own most nights!) and the result is that I can't go. It seems unfair but it is a balance to our house that I agreed to when the girls were born and I do love my luxury of being a stay at home mum, I just wish there was a way to get fit at the same time but wilth no time between 7:30am and 9pm without at least 3 children (we have 4) I just can't find a way around it. I'm starting the C25k this week and will do it in the morning before the kids get up (around 5am then!!) but getting fit is what I need to do so I will find a way, regardless.
    If its your money paying for the gym and you really want to go for it then you don't really need his say so. Is there another way that you can keep fit for now that will work until he is more confident in your finances to support your new lifestyle?