Lack of Support

oy_sydney
oy_sydney Posts: 2
edited December 16 in Motivation and Support
I'm not an overweight girl. At 5'6 I weigh in at 140. However, I'm not happy where I am, nor am I happy with the lack of strength my body possesses. I want to be faster, stronger, and fitter. I've placed my goal at 130, my old high school weight (everyone wants it..) but now I'm considering shifting my attention from a number goal to a fitness goal, and starting free weights over cardio.
My boyfriend has a little more weight to lose, and together we joined MFP and are gettin' it did. However, because I've radically changed my eating habits, I've run into some conflict.
I used to love my job--a cool middle-aged female boss, two girls the same age as me. It was like a support group. A support group where we order food for lunch a lot and eat whatever we want. Now that I'm being picky and limiting myself (SO hard to do, with an emotional eating habit such as mine), I feel ostracized from these girls, including my boss. Today she made a comment in front of a client (small business, close relationship with clients) that she hates it when I go on a diet (only done once before, with success, but I caved) because --in a mocking tone-- "I can't go there for lunch, there's nothing I can eat off that menu" and it ruins everything for the rest of them, apparently.
I know if I were overweight, maybe people would care more about my success. I understand that I get a lot of scoffs and dirty looks because I may look like someone's AFTER. But I'm working on my personal happiness, and eating healthier NOT crash dieting. What I once thought was a group of girls who cared about my happiness has revealed that they think I should what.. suck it up? Eat three slices of a pizza? Eat Chick-Fil-A twice a week like they do? And the thing that hurts most is my one coworker, who is thinner than me, recently got a boob job --from A to DD-- and she received more support than I ever have.

I'll end my rant here--I really just want to know if anyone else is facing this problem? My boyfriend has a similar one because his family is all obese, and he is trying to stop the cycle--maybe it's their jealousy?

Replies

  • Jenph20
    Jenph20 Posts: 134 Member
    I'm sorry to hear that. :( having a good support system is very difficult. I know ive had similar experiences with friends, but nothing to the extent you have. Some people want everyone else around them to feel miserable, in order to feel better about themselves. I think you are doing a great thing for yourself and you should keep going!! If you are iterested, i have a fb support system for ladies only. Yo can talk about workouts or just vent about how you are feeling. We would love to have you!! shoot me a msg if youd like :)
  • FlynnMacCallister
    FlynnMacCallister Posts: 172 Member
    *Hugs* My friends are used to me being the deciding factor in where we eat because I have a wide range of food intolerances, and I get **** for it sometimes, because a particular few people in my circle don't understand the difference between "having an intolerance" and "being picky". At least I have the advantage of being able to explain in graphic detail exactly what will happen if I eat that particular food they're *****ing about me being "picky" over. They usually don't like me afterward, but it shuts them up. D:<

    You've got all of us here to be your support group!
  • zacherybinx
    zacherybinx Posts: 215 Member
    Success is all about who you surround yourself with, that being said I understand when it comes to your career/job and place of work it's not up to you to choose who you're around in general. But if these people don't have your back and aren't supportive then I suggest trying to find new friends or just bringing lunches/snacks to work and they can do their thing while you do yours. I'd just try and explain to them that health to you isn't a joke any longer and this isn't a diet but a lifestyle change you're choosing to make with you and your boyfriend's health in mind. If they understand that then great...if not then it's up to you decide what is the right choice. We only live this life once so we may as well try and live as healthy and long as we possibly can.
  • oy_sydney
    oy_sydney Posts: 2
    Thanks for all the responses! I talked it over with my boyfriend and he suggested I sit down with her and ask her to stop making such remarks. If she's not supportive, that's one thing, but she doesn't need to ridicule. I'm not a fan of confrontation, so this will be tough. Also, my other option is to leave and find another job. It'd be better for me to find something in my degree field anyway, and my current job is only a dog daycare. Of course, a third option is to get my *kitten* together and make meals/snacks ahead of time to bring.

    Thankfully, I do have a friend that lives with my boyfriend and me. He's a smoker, his diet is crap, and though he's scrawny he's obviously not healthy. However, he's very supportive. He runs with me three times a week. If it weren't for me, he wouldn't run. While his diet still needs lots of work, he's admitted to being inspired by us. That makes me feel better.
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