What do you say/do when people are pressuring you to eat?

strawberry25shortcake
strawberry25shortcake Posts: 183 Member
edited September 20 in Health and Weight Loss
I am looking for ideas of how to deal with people (in-laws) who are pressuring you for not eating certain foods? And what do you do when they invite you to dinner and there is absolutely nothing you would eat?

Replies

  • jigglybits
    jigglybits Posts: 100 Member
    :frown: That's gotta be hard...I always bring something with me that I can heat up myself...or you could always ask to help prepare the meal then u would at least be able to choose one or two things that you definately would eat. I hope this helps :smile:
  • mnichol
    mnichol Posts: 642
    I tell them that particular food makes me sick or gives me a stomach ache, that usually stops the conversation!!!
  • FireMonkey
    FireMonkey Posts: 500 Member
    If people pressure me I just say "no, thank you." Repeat as needed. No explanation required; that only leads to them trying to persuade you with arguments like "one little bite won't hurt", "you're looking good the way you are" etc.

    Being invited to dinner, yes, do bring something that you can eat. Bring enough for everybody so it's a contribution to the meal, and not "your special diet food".
  • healthychic
    healthychic Posts: 298
    Oh wow, I hate that! What are they serving up, big macs and fries?!?:laugh: ! I wish people would be more understanding too:happy: Expecially those certain people who know you are trying to eat healthier and they shove bad foods in your face.

    -Danielle
  • juliehiggins
    juliehiggins Posts: 14
    My mother in law thinks that everyone should eat whatever she does. Over the years I have just gotten blunt. I tell her when I dont like something, and I wont eat it, but the nice thing is, we hardly ever eat with her for that reason, so I dont have to worry about it that much.
  • Alafia22
    Alafia22 Posts: 112
    The same thing happens to me. Not only because i'm trying to cure a food addiction but because I am also vegan. I always carry something with me to snack on that fits my dietary requirements and kindly explain my situation. If they aren't understanding, lie, lol. Say your not really hungry. If these people care about you, they should respect your choices and not pressure you anymore.
  • Shanta1983
    Shanta1983 Posts: 1,228 Member
    You know what yall have some great ides Im bout to start lyin telling me Im allergic to it which certain stuff I am but if I have to lie to get left along then so be it its a good lie for a good cause way to go ladies:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • strawberry25shortcake
    strawberry25shortcake Posts: 183 Member
    Well, the dinner is tomorrow evening and I will MOST DEFINITELY implement advices of you all:laugh: Thanks so much for the feedback and thoughts!
  • Georg
    Georg Posts: 1,728 Member
    Be proactive. When you're invited, tell them you're having to be really careful about what you eat. Insinuate that you're following doctor's orders...be a little secretive, let them come to the conclusion that it's really important to your health (which it is!) to only allow certain foods. (Apologize only a little!) Then offer to bring something that you know you can eat & bring enough for everyone.
    :heart:
    Take just a bite or 2 of what's being served if it's that bad, or exercise a lot that day & plan for extra calories.
    It can be hard for everyone if the impression is left that you don't like the cooking or the food. As a cook & a MIL, my feelings would be hurt.
    If they ask lots of questions, just blow it off, change the subject & let them know it really isn't dinner conversation. :blushing:
    Good luck.
  • gemiwing
    gemiwing Posts: 1,525 Member
    I would go the direct route. Something along the lines of "This is important to me, as someone that I love I would hope you would respect me and support my decision". No need to beat around the bush- just say what you mean.

    Like if it makes you feel ignored or chided, say so. Perhaps something like "I feel that when you critizise my eating habits/lifestyle change that you aren't respecting me, and that hurts my feelings".

    Also try to be part of the solution too. Offering to help cook or 'share' a recipe can go a long way.

    Good luck at dinner! :drinker:
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
    If I'm pressured into eating more (like yesterday with my sister at mcdonald's), I just say no. Tell them you have your calories worked out for the day, and you don't want to go over.

    For a dinner, as long as it wasn't beef, pork, seafood, or other meats I don't eat, I would have a little of something.
  • SusieSonshine
    SusieSonshine Posts: 252 Member
    If people pressure me I just say "no, thank you." Repeat as needed. No explanation required; that only leads to them trying to persuade you with arguments like "one little bite won't hurt", "you're looking good the way you are" etc.

    Being invited to dinner, yes, do bring something that you can eat. Bring enough for everybody so it's a contribution to the meal, and not "your special diet food".

    As I've posted in other threads, my oldest daughter was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis last year, after two deployments to Iraq, and has been medically retired from the Army. She now lives home and we manage this disease with what is essentially a paleolithic diet, gluten/dairy/legume free. We don't eat out at all, but when we are invited for some form of social gathering, we bring our own food to share for the meal. She and I usually let people know about this ahead of time, so that they are not shocked or offended, and usually they are quite curteous and offer to make something special. We don't like being a bother, so the only thing I ask is that fruits/veggies/meat not have added sauces, if possible, because that is where the hidden additives are found. MS is not the only disease that one needs to manage by diet, and so I say that we, who are trying to ward off future disease by changing what we consume, should let folks know that we have a "special" diet to prevent "metabolic syndrome" per your health advisor. Who can argue with that?!?! <smile!>

    And, by the way, watch the video that is on my signature: Sugar: The Bitter Truth, by Robert Lustig, MD. If that doesn't inspire people to stand up and be strong against the food tides of American Society, I don't know what will!

    All the best on your journey!!

    Susie :flowerforyou:
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    I tell them that particular food makes me sick or gives me a stomach ache, that usually stops the conversation!!!

    allergies:ohwell:


    :wink: :bigsmile:
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    I would go the direct route. Something along the lines of "This is important to me, as someone that I love I would hope you would respect me and support my decision". No need to beat around the bush- just say what you mean.

    Like if it makes you feel ignored or chided, say so. Perhaps something like "I feel that when you critizise my eating habits/lifestyle change that you aren't respecting me, and that hurts my feelings".

    Also try to be part of the solution too. Offering to help cook or 'share' a recipe can go a long way.

    Good luck at dinner! :drinker:

    Gemi............I love how you use the "I" word!!

    I am 48 and am just learning this!

    I am happy eating this apple.

    I LOVE fish with no sauce!!!

    I am walking from the hotel to the grill.......I love to walk.

    No one can argue with that logic!
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    You know what yall have some great ides Im bout to start lyin telling me Im allergic to it which certain stuff I am but if I have to lie to get left along then so be it its a good lie for a good cause way to go ladies:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

    tell em it gives ya gas and see if they ask again!!:laugh: :laugh:
  • strawberry25shortcake
    strawberry25shortcake Posts: 183 Member
    If people pressure me I just say "no, thank you." Repeat as needed. No explanation required; that only leads to them trying to persuade you with arguments like "one little bite won't hurt", "you're looking good the way you are" etc.

    Being invited to dinner, yes, do bring something that you can eat. Bring enough for everybody so it's a contribution to the meal, and not "your special diet food".

    As I've posted in other threads, my oldest daughter was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis last year, after two deployments to Iraq, and has been medically retired from the Army. She now lives home and we manage this disease with what is essentially a paleolithic diet, gluten/dairy/legume free. We don't eat out at all, but when we are invited for some form of social gathering, we bring our own food to share for the meal. She and I usually let people know about this ahead of time, so that they are not shocked or offended, and usually they are quite curteous and offer to make something special. We don't like being a bother, so the only thing I ask is that fruits/veggies/meat not have added sauces, if possible, because that is where the hidden additives are found. MS is not the only disease that one needs to manage by diet, and so I say that we, who are trying to ward off future disease by changing what we consume, should let folks know that we have a "special" diet to prevent "metabolic syndrome" per your health advisor. Who can argue with that?!?! <smile!>

    And, by the way, watch the video that is on my signature: Sugar: The Bitter Truth, by Robert Lustig, MD. If that doesn't inspire people to stand up and be strong against the food tides of American Society, I don't know what will!

    All the best on your journey!!

    Susie :flowerforyou:

    I am watching the "Sugar" movie right now...:noway: :noway: :noway: Now if we could only put the "Sugar" and "Food Inc." together and show them on a national TV to the entire America...and then kip our fingers crossed people will get motivated enough to start making the change and let the government know that enough is enough!:grumble:
  • ivykivy
    ivykivy Posts: 2,970 Member
    If you actually pass gas I'm pretty sure they will leave you alone.:laugh:
    You know what yall have some great ides Im bout to start lyin telling me Im allergic to it which certain stuff I am but if I have to lie to get left along then so be it its a good lie for a good cause way to go ladies:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

    tell em it gives ya gas and see if they ask again!!:laugh: :laugh:
  • barbiecat
    barbiecat Posts: 17,265 Member
    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
    when invited to eat, I tell the inviter that I have been following a very strict eating plan (no details) and will probably bring my own food or just not eat or arrive following the meal and enjoy the friendship.

    This is too important for me to let social pressure get in the way. :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:

    the last time we visited family, we brought the food and did the cooking so we ate what was on our food plan. Our son and dil who had children, fixed hot dogs and potato salad for their kids to go with the grilled chicken, grilled vegetables, and salad that we cooked for the adults.
    :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    If you actually pass gas I'm pretty sure they will leave you alone.:laugh:
    You know what yall have some great ides Im bout to start lyin telling me Im allergic to it which certain stuff I am but if I have to lie to get left along then so be it its a good lie for a good cause way to go ladies:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

    tell em it gives ya gas and see if they ask again!!:laugh: :laugh:
    or wont be invited back.....problem solved:wink:
  • strawberry25shortcake
    strawberry25shortcake Posts: 183 Member
    Thank you all so much! You have encouraged me to stick with my goals and mindset. If they can't accept that, oh well...too bad. :smile:
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
    THINGS TO SAY:
    No thank you.
    Stomach ulcer.
    Stomach ache.
    Certain food causes headache.
    Certain food causes stomach discomfort.
    Trying to eat differently.


    OR...
    Eat teeny portions of each. If directly quizzed, say you aren't hungry (and finish in your head with, "for this horrible food")

    :bigsmile:
  • metsgirl31
    metsgirl31 Posts: 45
    My boyfriend has a HUGE Italian family- who all love to get together to eat, very often! Thankfully, they always have steak/beef, and since I don't eat beef at all, they usually make some plain grilled chicken and let us put our own sauce/marinade on it. Then i take a little bit of the sides, and i'm good to go! :)
  • strawberry25shortcake
    strawberry25shortcake Posts: 183 Member
    Hey you all:smile:

    The dinner went great! I offered to contribute to the family meal and brought three whole chickens and a HUGE salad. And that's what I ate:wink: Well, not the whole three chickens...just like; half of the one:laugh: It was good times. When the dessert time came, my hubby and I shared one small piece. I am so happy with myself and feel great today! Thanks for all the support!

    Today I am off to Chicago for our 5th wedding anniversary and I am looking forward to having fun while eating healthy and making good food choices! I will have a slice of Chicago pizza though....:bigsmile:
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