I'm just going to vent for a second.

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thekat78
thekat78 Posts: 70 Member
in Chit-Chat
I know this is typcal girl problems.

Or whatever.

But I HATE that I don't...well I don't know. I don't really have a passionate hatred for it, but I severely dislike the fact that I can't get, nor can I hold onto a boyfriend. I look around me at all the girls that are TOTAL brats, that aren't that attractive, that have sucky attitudes, but they all get the attention. And I mean ALL of it.

Maybe I'm just...too shy? I don't know.

I just always feel like, when I finally find someone I could see myself with, there's NO way they would ever find me as physically or mentally attractive as I find them. Interesting people fascinate me, but I feel like I can't ever find anyone that would find me as interesting. I guess that does make me shy? Or just TOO insecure. Sigh.

Sorry. I just don't want to have to be like 'those girls' to get guys to notice me. I'm not down for changing for someone. Because if I have to change, it's not worth it. I just recently started 'looking' again because I'm coming back from a big fat CHEATER that thought it was cool to have two or three girlfriends at one time. Now that I'm looking again, I'm finding that guys only want girls that are in your face ditsy or slutty. I guess I'm just seeing all the wrong guys maybe? I like to believe there are still honest, attractive guys worth trusting out there. I just don't know where they are apparently. Sigh, again.

Sorry. I just had to tell someone. Judge me as you want, I don't really care. This just irks me sometimes.
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Replies

  • Megdonald1
    Megdonald1 Posts: 149 Member
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    Aww sweet pea!! I know you don't want to hear this but you are still young. You are worthy of the best man for you AND THAT MAN will find you to be the most interesting, beautiful, wonderful woman in the world. He is out there and when the time is right you will find each other. I am most worried that you want a boyfriend so much that you might settle for less than what is right for you. Don't do that! Be patient, enjoy being single, and learn to love yourself unconditionally. You are perfect the way you are. Go listen to Pink "F-ing Perfect" or Selena Gomez "Who says?" and be happy that you are the wonderful you that you are :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • thekat78
    thekat78 Posts: 70 Member
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    LOL. Thanks. Boys are just dumb, I suppose. :P
  • Zeromilediet
    Zeromilediet Posts: 787 Member
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    LOL. Thanks. Boys are just dumb, I suppose. :P

    Yup.
  • _binary_jester_
    _binary_jester_ Posts: 2,132 Member
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    Aww sweet pea!! I know you don't want to hear this but you are still young. You are worthy of the best man for you AND THAT MAN will find you to be the most interesting, beautiful, wonderful woman in the world. He is out there and when the time is right you will find each other. I am most worried that you want a boyfriend so much that you might settle for less than what is right for you. Don't do that! Be patient, enjoy being single, and learn to love yourself unconditionally. You are perfect the way you are. Go listen to Pink "F-ing Perfect" or Selena Gomez "Who says?" and be happy that you are the wonderful you that you are :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
    I am just going to go with what she said. Mainly it's because I don't recognize of the musicians she mentions (who understands the music you kids listen to?).

    There's nothing wrong with being picky.
  • BondBomb
    BondBomb Posts: 1,781 Member
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    I hate to be the bearer of bad news but this is a problem for most single people. If finding a compatible partner were easy - well more people would have succesful marriages and relationships.
    Im 38 and starting over for the bazillionth time. It sucks. But you have youth on your side. Im already starting to shrivel up into an evil old hag :)
    I really do wish you luck.
  • Karrix
    Karrix Posts: 288
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    It's all about compatibility. I was in a relationship for almost 6 years, and he would have likely stayed had I not left. The connection to me just wasn't there anymore. People grow apart, we change, we can either grow together or move further apart. Many people aren't in the same place as where they started off.

    It's all about connection. These girls you speak of have met someone who has matched them.

    I wouldn't compare yourself to other girls or be discouraged. You just haven't met someone who you really click with. There is someone out there for everyone!

    I ended up dating someone for a short period (5-6 months) of time after my first relationship ended, we concluded that we weren't a good match for each other. I don't regret the time spent because I learned what I want in a future partner throughout the way.

    Take every experience, don't look down on them, live & learn. Don't be so down on yourself, you have plenty to offer, and it will be noticed. :flowerforyou:
  • NotGoddess
    NotGoddess Posts: 1,198 Member
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    It's a universal problem. :(
    Just keep being yourself-be the best you you can be. Put yourself out there as you are, not as you think you should be to get attention. Eventually, there -will- be someone who thinks you are absolutely fantastic.

    I know, that's not much help now, but you have to hold onto that belief. Never settle.
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    You're 19 and the fit, feminine type that I find quite attractive. So if you can't find/keep a significant other, what hope is there for the rest of us?

    If you were local to me, I'd ask you out in an instant.

    There are a lot of idiots out there. The other side of the table is dating women, which is no picnic at all.

    Don't just think with your vagina though. Choose a guy to be with who is more than just looks. The exterior matters, but what is inside matters more. Good character is what counts. So someone hot, smart, fun, treats you well, but doesn't let you walk all over them.
  • ashleywright144
    ashleywright144 Posts: 34
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    I'll tell you what my mom did all throughout my life. Date geeks. They typically have good hearts and take a women for who they are. My husband is a geek, and there is nothing more attractive to me then inteligence.
  • wellbert
    wellbert Posts: 3,924 Member
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    You're probably more mentally mature than guys your age.
  • Skeebee
    Skeebee Posts: 740 Member
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    One other thing I always like to tell everyone. You'll never find the one for you.....they find you...and it's when you aren't looking. :-) When I got to the point that I knew I was happy with myself and didn't need anyone and wasn't "looking" is when love found me. You don't need to change you, you just need to embrace it and realize that good things will come to you naturally and you don't have to work towards them by changing who you are. :-)
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
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    To be perfectly honest, I find the shy type interesting.
    I'm not sure what exactly you meant when you said that you're not interesting, but I guess that's all subjective. I find shy people interesting, other people find me interesting, everybody's different.
  • MiniMichelle
    MiniMichelle Posts: 807 Member
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    Don't worry you will find someone (or multiple) who fascinates you mentally and emotionally. I am not saying this because you are 19 either; I am saying this because it will happen. As boys turn into men they start to realize what they want, what qualities attract them aside from physical features, and when that happens they will be flocking your way :)
  • Kailel
    Kailel Posts: 61 Member
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    I'll tell you what my mom did all throughout my life. Date geeks. They typically have good hearts and take a women for who they are. My husband is a geek, and there is nothing more attractive to me then inteligence.

    I was just about to say that all of the good guys rarely leave their basements, so that's why you can't find them! xD That's where I met mine, and we've been together four years... tomorrow. xD

    I was pretty sure no one would want me as a high-achiever (scholastically) with rock-bottom self-esteem (hey, Mom told me no one would xD), but then I found someone. The thing is, it happens when you don't expect it. Look at who comes for you first when you're upset, there might be a perfect guy closer than you think. :)

    Good luck\!
  • cbh142
    cbh142 Posts: 270 Member
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    I'll tell you what my mom did all throughout my life. Date geeks. They typically have good hearts and take a women for who they are. My husband is a geek, and there is nothing more attractive to me then inteligence.

    HAHA! My dad never really said much but he did say to find a NERD!!!!!!!!!!
  • elishabeish
    elishabeish Posts: 175 Member
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    Aww sweet pea!! I know you don't want to hear this but you are still young. You are worthy of the best man for you AND THAT MAN will find you to be the most interesting, beautiful, wonderful woman in the world. He is out there and when the time is right you will find each other. I am most worried that you want a boyfriend so much that you might settle for less than what is right for you. Don't do that! Be patient, enjoy being single, and learn to love yourself unconditionally. You are perfect the way you are. Go listen to Pink "F-ing Perfect" or Selena Gomez "Who says?" and be happy that you are the wonderful you that you are :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

    This pretty much sums it. For me, when I quit looking so hard, he found me. Don't be in a hurry by any means, I was in a hurry at 19 and spent seven years with the wrong man. When we divorced I swore I was done at least until my son was grown, But my current husband made that impossible.

    You found me
    When no one else was lookin'
    How did you know just where I would be?
    Yeah, you broke through
    All of my confusion
    The ups and the downs
    And you still didn't leave
    I guess that you saw what nobody could see
    You found me
    (Kelly Clarkson)
  • katydid25
    katydid25 Posts: 199 Member
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    When I was younger, I had the exact frustrations you did. So I finally asked one of the guys I had been "seeing" for over 2 years what the deal was. And he told me he'd be honest with me: I wasn't the dating type. I was the marriage type, and he wasn't ready to settle down but would know he made a mistake if it didn't work out because of that fact. So he just held off. And I eventually met a great guy who was ready to settle down, which made that first guy realize what he was missing out on by being an idiot!

    I don't blame you for being frustrated. But just keep your head up!!
  • MiniMichelle
    MiniMichelle Posts: 807 Member
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    Listen to Haven't met you yet my Michael Buble: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AJmKkU5POA
  • ihateroses
    ihateroses Posts: 893 Member
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    I just always feel like, when I finally find someone I could see myself with, there's NO way they would ever find me as physically or mentally attractive as I find them. Interesting people fascinate me, but I feel like I can't ever find anyone that would find me as interesting. I guess that does make me shy? Or just TOO insecure. Sigh.

    When you think "there's no way a guy can pass this amazing person up" is when they won't be interested in "those other girls".

    And I'm assuming you're waiting around for one. Get up and go get em princess! :flowerforyou:
  • spinqueen72
    spinqueen72 Posts: 406 Member
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    Aww sweet pea!! I know you don't want to hear this but you are still young. You are worthy of the best man for you AND THAT MAN will find you to be the most interesting, beautiful, wonderful woman in the world. He is out there and when the time is right you will find each other. I am most worried that you want a boyfriend so much that you might settle for less than what is right for you. Don't do that! Be patient, enjoy being single, and learn to love yourself unconditionally. You are perfect the way you are. Go listen to Pink "F-ing Perfect" or Selena Gomez "Who says?" and be happy that you are the wonderful you that you are :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
    I am just going to go with what she said. Mainly it's because I don't recognize of the musicians she mentions (who understands the music you kids listen to?).

    There's nothing wrong with being picky.

    lol...you don't know who Pink or Selena Gomez are? I'm 40, and I have all of Pink's music & some of Selena's on my iPod! Partially because I have a 16 year old daughter. Go listen to those two songs....you'll get them once you hear them. :)

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